“I’ll be right back.”
“What? No!”
“Trust me.”
Her glossy eyes find mine. “Do I have a choice?”
“No.” I make my way back to the table. Mom is fully aware when our eyes meet, but the rest of the family is clueless. “She’s, uh, got an upset stomach, so let’s give her a minute.”
“Got some Pepto in the cabinet, son,” my mother says, passing me a message, sympathy pooling in her expression.
“On it.”
I make my way back to Harper and see her eyes water over again. “I told them you had a stomach ache.”
“Great, now everyone thinks I have the shits.”
I burst out laughing, and she slaps my chest. “God, you are in so much trouble.” She pulls me to her and cries in my neck. “I hate you so much right now.”
“Harper, I’m getting whiplash.”
She sniffs, bringing her face to mine, her cheeks splotched. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t happening to me. It’s you. Your dad, your family, I just…”
“Well, you’re a drama queen.”
She musters a smile. “Exactly.” Her face falls, and I chuckle when she starts blubbering again.
“Jeez, am I glad I invited you. Life of the party right here, folks.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I want to.”
“You can’t. You’ve got the best heart of anyone I’ve ever met,” I say, pulling her to me despite her protest. She gives way in my arms and rests her head on my chest.
“I’m so sorry, Lance. I’m so sorry. This has got to be so hard on your family.”
“We’re making it through. It’s going to be okay. You told me, I’ll be drafted, right?”
“Right.”
“And if I don’t, I’ll be a rich as fuck boxer.”
“Exactly.”
“That means better medical care and fixing this place up. Hiring help. Letting Trevor be a kid. Getting Mom a nurse to help her out when it gets hard. And a motorcycle for me.”
“Gotta be something in it for you, huh?” She sniffs.
“Well, I am the one who’s gonna have to ice my knees for the next ten to fifteen years.”
“You say I have a good heart. Look what you’re doing. What you’ve been taking on. It’s like I read the story in seconds without being told.” She sniffs again, and I tip her chin up so I can see her eyes.
“Tenderhearted thing, aren’t you?”
She blows out a stuttered breath. “Any ailment, any illness like that, when I see it in person, I just lose it. And the fact that it’s you, your dad. God, I just can’t imagine. My whole life is about movement, Lance. I can’t imagine not being able to dance, to move when I will myself to. It’s my worst fear.”
“I get it. I think it’s mine too. The more I see him, the more I realize how lucky I am.”
“I’m sorry,” she crumbles again.
I hold her tightly to me. “It’s okay, baby, it’s going to be okay.”
“I know, I mean it’s horrible, but that’s not why I can’t stop crying.”
“Then, why are you crying?”
“Because I fell in love with you, Lance Prescott, and I’m not quite sure it was the best move to make on my part.”
That statement zings through my chest, lighting me up in a way I’ve never imagined possible, and I do the only thing that comes naturally. I laugh. I throw my head back, and I laugh hard until small fists pummel me.
“You. Total. Asshole.”
“I’m sorry,” I chuckle. “God, I’m sorry. It’s not that I think it’s funny.”
“Don’t look so pleased, you smug bastard. I’m terrified.”
“Me too.”
“So not what you’re supposed to say,” she tries to mask her own smile.
“No, I mean, I feel for you too.”
“Oh, well, good. I’m glad you can pick off a ball because you’re shit at sentiment, Shakespeare.” We both crack up as she looks on at me, her eyes softening. “Hook, line, and sinker. I’m officially a sucker for your ridiculous and inadequate charms.”
“I’ll get better at the Shakespeare, I promise.”
“Coach’s daughter falls for a football player. Like how cliché can it get?”
I lift my palms. “We can wear matching Christmas sweaters, adopt a dog, and take ‘almost a family’ photos.”
“Sounds good to me. Can we give the dog a ridiculous name?”
“Sure.” I wipe the tears from her eyes
She nods. “Just give me a minute to glue myself back together.”
“You’ve got two.”
I open the door as she primps in the mirror, wiping the black beneath her eyes. “It’s so obvious what just happened. I’m mortified.”
I kiss her cheek. “Hurry up before I change my mind and keep you locked in here.”
“Lance?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re okay, I guess.”
We share a smile, and I wink before I close the door. After dinner, beers with dad, and two rounds of pie, I whisk my girlfriend away from the chaos and make love to her all night in my childhood room. Skin to skin, we wordlessly bind ourselves, nose to nose, chest to chest. The next morning after breakfast Harper locks herself in Dad’s office for a few hours with the books before she calls my parents and me in.
“I’ve found you five grand, I think.”
My father looks skeptical but walks over to where she stands.
“This is owed, right? You have this crossed-out, but I’ve checked, and double-checked the numbers, and this makes sense, here.” She leans in analyzing my dad’s chicken scratch. My father pulls out his phone and steps outside.
“Whitty, you didn’t pay me for those heifers I sold you. Nope. Looking at the books right here. All right, see you after a while.” My dad walks in and nods. “Thank you. So much, really.” He’s too proud to show much more than that, but I know he means it.
“Jeannie,” Harper summons from dad’s desk and my mother walks over to stand behind where she sits. “I’ve put a few suggestions here and here,” she says. “They may work for next month.”
“Thank you,” my mother says, staring down at her with adoration before looking up to wink at me. I wink back.
“We need to get on the road,” I remind Harper, who looks up at me and nods. And I feel it, without her saying it. I feel it to my bones. She loves me.
We hold hands the entirety of the ride home. I drive her RAV4 as she sings Christmas carols while I try to find the right words to tell her what a difference she’s made in my life in the months I’ve known her. Rehearsing and re-rehearsing in my head how to put into words the way she makes me feel. Words that stem from any emotion have always been my weakness. But for her, I want to try. I want to tell her so much. How much she’s surprised me. How I never thought I could feel as much for any woman the way I feel about her. That I love her too, though I’m positive she knows.