She eyes me. “You cut me out. You left us all here to deal with the mess.”
“I know.”
“You think I didn’t need you?”
“I’m sorry, I threw myself into dancing. I didn’t…I wasn’t myself.”
“Selfish.”
“Yes,” I say, moving toward her. “It was.”
“That seems to run in the family.” I reach for her and she jerks away. “Don’t,” she says, wiping her face and avoiding my touch.
“I was planning on coming to you after I sorted things with Lance. But you should know I left because I didn’t want it touching you anymore. The less you had to do with me, the less you would’ve had to deal with it.”
“Are you serious? I was terrified for you. I spent so many nights worrying about you, did you for once think of me? I’m your big sister. I wanted to be there for you, to protect you and you just shut me out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, aren’t we all today.”
“I love you,” I say softly. “I miss you so much. I needed you too. I just…handled it wrong. Lance is mad at me as well. I just didn’t know how to keep you all away from it and stay in your lives. I was trying to protect you all.”
Her posture breaks, and she finally lets me wrap my arms around her. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m so mad at you. You broke your nephew’s heart too, you know.” She pulls from my embrace. “But don’t ever do that again.”
“I’m sorry. It was just so hard to come back here.”
“Baby, I know. I know. I just wish you would have talked to me.”
“Please forgive me,” I say, crying in her embrace.
“I will, eventually. But, I’m proud of you,” she sniffs, pulling away from me, her eyes swollen. “Just so you know. I saw you dance on TikTok. Zane showed it to me.”
The thought of my nephew finding me on the app to watch my dance videos breaks my heart.
“Can I see him now?”
She eyes me. “I’m about to pick him up from school. You want to come with me?”
“I’d love nothing more.”
We collectively look back at the apartment building. “You think we should tell them we’re leaving?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Let them hash it out.”
“Okay.” She unlocks her SUV, and I climb in. “I can’t believe it.”
“I can. Neither one of them are the same anymore. I hope I can forgive Dad one day.”
“I just…don’t you feel sorry for him?”
“He made his bed. Maybe one day I’ll see it another way.” She adjusts the rearview and wipes her eyes. “So, you came back for Lance?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Tell me everything.”
A knock on my window has me jumping in my seat, and I see Trevor and roll it down.
“I was hoping he didn’t scare you away. He’s been a mammoth dick for months. Thought you had left there for a second until Mom found your suitcase in the laundry room.”
“No, I went to see my family. My dad called last night, and I dropped everything. I didn’t think about leaving a note.”
He eyes my tear-stained cheeks. “Want to talk about it?”
Sweet Trevor, he’s just a sixteen-year-old kid, and he’s spending most of his time trying to keep his own family together.
“The short of it is that my parents are getting a divorce.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too. But it’s been two years, and it’s time to close that chapter. I’m okay, really. Just getting past the sting.”
“I read about your dad, what a mess.”
“Yeah. It was.”
I roll up the window and lock my rental up. Stepping out, I glance around the ranch as the sun begins to set.
“It really is beautiful here.”
Trevor nods. “It is.”
“You like being a rancher?”
“Honestly, I don’t know life without it, but I love it. I do. And so does my brother. Definitely in our blood.”
“I can see the appeal. It’s peaceful.”
Trevor looks over at me, evident concern on his face. “Mom made meatloaf. It’s really good. I saved you a plate in the microwave. Lance has been hitting it pretty hard today. He’s blown up a few times. I think he thought you left too.”
I realize then how stupid it was not to send a text. He’s probably been expecting this. I’d rolled my suitcase into the laundry room before I left when I discovered I had nothing clean to wear to face my parents. I’m in the Grand hoodie I stole from him and my last pair of leggings.
“Is he still in the gym?”
“No.”
“Good. I want to work some of this out.”
“Okay, well, I won’t tell him you’re here. Give you some time.”
“Trust me, he’s not coming after me.” Trevor doesn’t hesitate, he pulls me into his arms. I hug him back and break down a little.
“Sorry,” I sniff.
“Don’t be. I would be devastated if my parents split. It’s got to feel weird.”
“It does.” I pull back and manage a smile. “You’re going to be an awesome husband one day.”
“Damn right, I am. I assure you not half as pigheaded as my brother.”
“Well, that should do you good.”
He looks worried when he asks. “So, you aren’t leaving?”
“I’m tired of running from the things I’m afraid of. Doesn’t make it any less hard to deal.”
“You’re perfect for him, you know.”
“And he for me.”
He hugs me again and makes his way toward the house as I square off with the barn. I’ll get back to fighting in the morning, for now, I have my own shit to work out.
Lance
“Hey, dickhead?”
“In my office.”
“It’s Dad’s office.”
“Whatever. I’m in here.”
Trevor turns the corner with an apple in his hand and takes a bite.
“That’s my apple.”
He presents me with the bitten fruit, and I wave him away.
“All yours. What do you want?”
“Nothing.”
“Then get out. I have work to do.”
“Let me save you some time, we’re broke,” he says matter of fact, “you’re welcome.”
“Yeah, well, bills still have to be paid. You might want to sit down and learn how to cut a check.”
He takes another bite of my apple. “I’m good with manual labor, for now, especially if paying bills makes me look as constipated as it does you.”
“Get out,” I grumble.
“Okay, but I came in here for a reason.”
“You came in here to fuck with me.”
“Whatever.”
Music sounds from the barn, and I look up from Dad’s books. “Rip out there?”
“Nope, and since when does Rip listen to Evanescence?”
I turn to look out at the barn, trying to ignore the pickup in my chest. I’ve been a fucking wreck all day, and it’s only made me realize what she’s capable of doing to me.