She nodded. Cody glanced at Louisa, and she willed him to be okay, but he quickly broke her gaze and started toward the door.
“I’ll see you out.” She stood and moved toward him as if he needed an escort. As if he’d want it to be her.
He didn’t, obviously, because he didn’t even acknowledge her, but again, grace rushed through her as she reminded herself of all he’d been through.
He opened the door and hurried out, and she had to jog to catch up. “Cody.”
He stopped but didn’t turn, and for a brief moment, she admired the strength radiating from him. Muscles shredded by hours of training, arms that had saved numerous lives, including her own. And yet, mixing clearly with that strength was a vulnerability he was trying to conceal.
She walked around to stand in front of him, but he stared over her head, refusing her eyes.
“What are you not saying?”
His jaw twitched. Was he grinding his teeth?
“Nothing.”
“I can tell something is bothering you.”
He looked away. “I’ll handle it on my own.”
“You think your father had something to hide?”
Now he looked at her. “We all have secrets, Lou.”
The words felt like an accusation. A decade-old wound reopened and exposed.
Cody took a step as if to walk around Louisa, but she moved at the same time and blocked his way. Once she’d blocked him, though, she realized she wasn’t sure why or what she planned to say.
“Maybe I can help?”
His jaw twitched again. A sign he was either annoyed or uncomfortable—or both. She didn’t care. He’d stopped trying to escape and she had his attention, and now that she was standing this close to him, her head felt dizzy and that fantasy of kissing him had come back.
Because his lips were full and they were right there. If she stood on her tiptoes, she was sure she could reach them . . .
“How?”
His gruff question was like a smack across the face, which she desperately needed given how ridiculous that rabbit trail had been.
“Well, I know everyone,” she said. “I mean, that’s my job.”
“But you have Maggie’s party. And the regatta. You don’t need to try and track down some mystery person for me.”
“Well, I won’t do it by myself. You’d have to help me.” She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for him to respond.
“Maybe it’s better we leave it alone,” he said. Another smack.
She took a step back, desperately needing space between them. “Okay.” Something inside her called out, Forgive me, please. I’m so sorry. But the words didn’t come.
“What would we do?” He seemed to be simultaneously loathing and considering this idea.
“Start asking questions, I guess. Dig around for answers. See who’s still here that knew your dad.”
“What would I do?”
“Grunt work,” she said. “Get me coffee. Make me sandwiches. That sort of thing.”
She couldn’t be sure, but she thought for the faintest moment a smile played at the corner of his gorgeous mouth. And then it was gone.
“Fine,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“I guess.”
“Okay, when do we start?”
“Tonight?”
She frowned. “Really?”
He shrugged.
“Okay. I can come to you or we can meet somewhere.”
“I have one chair,” he said. “Can we meet at your place?”
“One chair?”
“I’m just one guy,” he said.
In a flash, sadness washed over her at the thought of how lonely his life must be. How did a single guy make any temporary housing feel like a home?
“Louisa?”
She looked up at him, embarrassed by her sudden and overwhelming emotion, and righted herself. “Tonight then. My place. I’ll even feed you.”
“No, I’ll bring dinner. Can you write up an estimate for your fee?”
“Cody, this isn’t work. I would never charge you.”
“It is work, Louisa. I’m paying or we don’t have a deal.”
She tried not to read into that, but all she could think was that this man didn’t want anything between them to be confused. Business dealings only.
“So?”
She stammered something even she didn’t recognize, but she must’ve been nodding because he said, “Great, see you tonight then,” and began to walk away.
Helping him with the Coast Guard was great and all, but helping him with something personal—that was actual penance. A way to make things right. A way to make up for her mistakes.
Will you forgive me now?
“Cody,” she said to his back.
He turned.
“We might find something you don’t like.”
His expression didn’t change. “We might find something we both don’t like.”
“What do you mean?”
He looked away. “Forget it.”
As if she could. “You’re sure you want to start digging around in the past?”
“Yep.”
He didn’t wait for her to say anything else, and honestly, what would she have said? She watched him walk away, and once she got over the initial shock of their conversation, she took a moment to admire the man who used to be the boy who’d won her heart all those years ago.
She said a silent prayer that maybe one day she’d actually do something to earn his forgiveness once and for all.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
LOUISA STOOD IN FRONT OF HER FULL-LENGTH MIRROR and surveyed her outfit. Was a blue cotton romper appropriate for a meeting that wasn’t work but that she might get paid for with a man who wasn’t nice but who was inherently kind?
She slid her polished toes into her gold sandals and buckled them around her ankles, then ran her hands through her long auburn waves. Maybe she was trying too hard.
There was a knock at the door.
Oh, well, not much she could do about it at this point.
She made her way downstairs and saw the outline of Cody’s sturdy frame through the frosted window of her front door. He stared out across the yard, giving her just a moment to admire him.
He’d showered and now wore khaki shorts and a faded light-blue T-shirt with some sort of logo on it. They practically matched and obviously should take a photo tonight to prove how good they looked together, which was an absurd thought if she’d ever had one, given that the man could hardly stand to be in the same room with her.
But the blues were so perfect, it was like they’d planned it.
Would their children have blue eyes too?
Knock it off, Lou.
She opened the door and forced a smile in spite of the nerves wriggling around in her belly. “Hey.”
Did she sound like she was trying to be sexy? Because she absolutely was not, but the accidental huskiness in her own voice startled her. She cleared her throat.
He held up a brown paper bag. “Dinner.”
She opened it and inhaled. “Jetty burgers?” She glanced up and found him looking at her, same way he had all those years ago—with a twinkle of something special in his eye.
He remembered.