And that was how it had stayed all these years. Until tonight when he stupidly opened it like a kid on Christmas. Like there was joy to be found inside.
Right on top was a sheet of paper with his father’s handwriting on it, and the sight of it had nearly knocked him out cold.
After the tidal wave of emotions crashed through his body, he was certain this was not a path worth investigating. The past needed to stay in the past. End of story.
He cut the engine, grabbed the box, and walked inside. What was he so afraid of? Bank statements and tax documents? Like he’d always said, his dad must’ve had a plan—they couldn’t possibly know what he’d been thinking in the weeks leading up to his death. But Cody had chosen to believe there was a reason for what seemed like major financial mismanagement.
A memorial at the place where he died changed nothing about that. An IOU note from someone who missed his dad didn’t change anything either. Cody knew who his father was.
He set the box on the empty kitchen counter and stared at it.
He knew who his father was.
Except what if there was more to his father than the man he knew? Men had secrets, even fathers. What if his dad had a whole life Cody knew nothing about?
After several long seconds, he brought the box into the living room, dropping it on the floor in front of his solo recliner. He continued staring at it as if he could open it by telekinesis. As if that would make it hurt less. If he were smart, he would’ve left it with Louisa, paid her a nice sum to go through it, and asked her to track down whoever it was that had left the note behind.
But Louisa wasn’t a detective, and frankly, the less she knew about his personal life the better. He’d been foolish to accept her help in the first place. She had this infectious enthusiasm that he couldn’t help but find amusing—even now, when he wanted nothing to do with her, he found himself wondering when he’d see her again.
He’d also made the mistake of noticing she smelled like vanilla cupcakes, and the scent of her lingered in spite of the distance he’d purposely put between them.
Without thinking, he tore the tape off the box again and stared at it, questions forming at the back of his mind. Or maybe the questions had always been there and he’d simply been too stubborn to admit it.
His father was a hero. He’d died saving Cody. Nothing inside this box would change that.
Cody opened the lid and the twelve-year-old stack of papers and photographs stared back at him. He didn’t have to dig far to find a picture of the two of them, snapped when Cody was around ten years old. His dad had taken him fishing—their first ever guys-only camping trip. Cody was proudly holding a largemouth bass that was nearly as big as he was. He remembered that moment. He remembered pulling the fish from the lake, something he never could’ve done without his dad’s help.
He studied the faces in the photo and noticed his father’s grin was wider than his own. Perhaps he was even prouder of their catch than Cody had been. A pang of sadness rose up within him, and he said a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn’t gone through the box in front of Louisa.
He could feel her wanting to fix things. He could feel her trying too hard. The last thing he needed was for her to feel validated in her obvious concern for him. He was fine. He’d be fine. He just had a lot to process.
He started scanning through the pages—mostly work papers, mostly unhelpful, and he tried not to let his mind wander back to that night.
He’d wished he could undo it so many times. If only he’d listened.
If only Louisa hadn’t been making out with the pizza delivery guy behind the dumpster of the restaurant where she was working. If only he hadn’t decided to surprise her, showing up early and catching some guy pressed against her—an image he’d tried without success to scrub from his mind for months after.
He’d waited until the guy—Nate—went back inside, using every bit of his willpower not to deck the idiot. Cody was bigger and stronger, never mind that Nate was two years older, already in college.
“Just friends, huh?” he spat as a look of sheer panic washed over Louisa’s face.
“Cody, I’m so sorry—it’s not what you think.”
He rolled his eyes. “I told you that guy was flirting with you, Lou. I asked you to shut it down.”
“And I did,” she said. “I thought I did.” She pushed her hands over her hair, smoothing out her ponytail. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Do you like this guy?” His mind spun with the same phrase, over and over—Please say no.
But she didn’t say no. She didn’t say anything. She hesitated just long enough to give him his answer. He turned to go, and she grabbed his arm.
“I don’t know, Cody. I don’t know how I feel. It’s confusing, and he’s older, and he knows what he wants—”
“I bet he does.” Cody scoffed.
“I’m so sorry. I’m just—freaked out about leaving, about being apart. Nate understands and—”
“And I don’t.” He faced her then, looked her square in the eye. “I know how I feel. I’ve always known.”
Tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”
“You know that guy is just using you, right?” He could feel the anger in his words, fueled by his own pain at a betrayal he hadn’t seen coming.
“Cody, please—can we talk about this?”
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” He’d been so dense. He really believed when they made that pact only a couple of weeks before that they’d survive her going off to college. They’d already done long-distance; they’d proven they could make it work.
Louisa was leaving in a matter of days—and instead of focusing on the two of them, she was “confused about her feelings” and kissing someone else?
He left then, raced home and slammed the door behind him. He stomped upstairs and turned a circle in his room like a rat in a cage. He wanted to punch something—or someone. He needed to blow off some steam.
A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, and his dad poked his head in. “Hey, champ.”
Cody turned away. He didn’t want his dad to see him like this. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this—losing it over a girl. How idiotic.
But Louisa wasn’t just any girl. He’d loved her for as long as he could remember.
“What’s going on?”
Cody’s sigh was heavy. His heart felt like a brick stuck in the center of his chest. He unloaded the whole story, and of course, his father responded calmly, the way he always did.
Some guys had parents who took up their offenses for them. Cody wasn’t one of them. Instead, Daniel Boggs put on his practical cap and tried to talk Cody off the ledge.
“You and Louisa are young,” he said. “Maybe a little time apart would be good for you. Maybe she needs to figure out how she feels, and maybe you need to give yourself a little space too.”
“Space for what, Dad?”
He shrugged. “Lots of fish in the ocean.”
“That’s so dumb. You know how I feel about her.”
His father stilled. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know why she did this, and I know it hurts. I have a feeling she’s hurting pretty good right now too.”