Richard grabbed our bags, smiling. “Come on, let me show you to your room. You kids can get situated. We’ll have dinner when you’re ready.”
Our room had a mahogany four-poster bed and private bathroom with a claw-foot tub. There was already a fire burning in our fireplace, logs shifting. It was super romantic. This weekend was going to be epic.
We had dinner and then drinks in the living room. Both Robin and Richard were great, and Adrian spent a good hour just catching up with his dad. Adrian’s grandma got tired and went to bed early. She took a liking to Harry Puppins and brought him to her room with her when she left. Adrian and I stayed chatting with Richard and Robin a little longer. At midnight we called it and went to bed.
Back in our room, Adrian set Grace in her Pack ’n Play.
As soon as his hands were free, he cleared the space between us and pulled me into a kiss. It was more passionate than usual, and I didn’t expect it.
“Wow,” I said against his lips.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?” I said breathlessly.
“For coming. For making me come. For making me see things differently.” His eyes moved back and forth between mine. “The holidays never meant much to me. But this one does.”
“Why?” I smiled.
“Because it’s our first one. Because everything with you is better. Because I’ve found the person I can’t live without.”
My lips fell a little. “Don’t say that.”
“Don’t say what?” he whispered.
“That you can’t live without me.”
He shook his head. “Why?”
“Because it’s a fucked-up thing to say. I don’t want to know that you won’t want to live if I’m not here. That’s not a compliment. That’s sort of my worst nightmare, actually.”
He smiled at me. “Okay. I’ve found the person I want to share everything with. Better?”
I nodded. “Yes. Better.”
He grinned.
I nodded up at him. “Hey, what do you think of giving Harry Puppins to your grandma?”
He pulled his face back. “You want to give our dog away?”
I shrugged. “Well, he’s not actually our dog. We’re fostering him. And our lifestyles aren’t conducive to long-term dog ownership when you really think about it. Your grandma really likes him. And you notice how he hasn’t bitten her?”
He scoffed. “God, can you imagine that dog with teeth?”
“Can you imagine that dog as a dragon?”
Adrian barked out a laugh.
“I’ll bet your grandma reminds him of his previous owner or something. We could arrange it with the rescue, pay the adoption fee for her as a gift.”
He seemed to mull this over. “I guess you’re right. He probably would be happier here. There’s always someone home. I’m going to miss that little asshole.”
I laughed. “We could foster another dog if you miss having one. Save another life.”
He smiled at me. “I like that you’re such a good person. You make me want to be a better person too.”
I rubbed my nose on his. “You already are a better person.”
His eyes moved to my lips and then came back up. “Are you ready for your Christmas gift?”
I cocked my head. “You don’t want to wait until tomorrow?”
“It’s midnight. It’s Christmas.”
“Is it your dick in a box? Because if it is, I’m very excited to open it.”
He laughed. “No. Though feel free to open that gift as often as you’d like.”
I snorted.
He pulled something out of his pocket and put it in my hand. A small, flat package wrapped in candy cane wrapping paper.
“Is it a gift card?” I asked, prying the paper open.
It was an Altoids tin.
“I didn’t want you to have any idea what’s in it until you saw it,” he said.
I smiled and shook it next to my ear and it made a rattling sound. Then I opened the lid and sucked in a gulp of air. I blinked at it a moment, not believing what I was seeing.
It was Mom’s ring.
I put a shaking hand out to touch it like it might not be real. “How did you…?” I breathed.
“I started looking for it right after you told me it was stolen.”
A choking sob burst from my mouth.
“Adrian…this is…” I shook my head and looked up at him with tears in my eyes. “This is the best Christmas gift anyone has ever given me,” I whispered.
He smiled. Then he took the ring out of the tin, slid it onto my finger, and bent to kiss me. When he came back up, I stood there, looking at my hand, blinking back tears.
“Thank you,” I breathed, peering up at him.
His green eyes held mine. “I would give you the whole world if I could.” He studied me for a moment. “You had all of this planned, didn’t you?”
“What?” I sniffed.
“You knew I was going to fall for you. That I didn’t stand a chance.”
I smiled. “I’d like to take more credit. But to be honest, with all my problems, I didn’t think you’d even want me.”
He shook his head. “Did you know my grandparents lived their whole life in this house? They were the happiest couple I’ve ever known. My grandma married my grandpa a month after they met. I never understood it. I never imagined that I’d ever feel that sure about anyone that soon. Or ever. Until you.”
He put his warm hands on my cheeks.
“You are the flood, Vanessa. You pour into me, washing away everything that I used to think mattered and then filling me up to the top until I’m drowned in nothing but you.”
My mouth fell open and I couldn’t even breathe. No one had ever said anything so beautiful to me. Ever.
“Adrian…”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s just true. And I never had any choice in the matter.”
The welling tears broke free and slid down my cheeks.
I felt so lucky to be cared for by him. And to be different for him than anyone else had ever been.
He was different for me too.
I was in love with this man. There was no other way to put it. I was in love with him. And he wasn’t even trying to make me love him. He was just being who he was.
I’d seen so much of the world. But I’d never see enough of Adrian. Even if I got a lifetime on this Earth, to be married to him and grow old with him, it wouldn’t be enough.
A sudden, bottomless, aching sadness overcame me. Invisible fingers reached up and choked me from the inside.
I was probably going to die. Soon.
This realization hit me in a way that it never had. In all my years of living with this unknown, I’d never felt it this deep in my bones. It had never been this savage.
I’d always suspected I would die young. Then my hand started acting up and I knew I would. I was at peace with it, for the most part. I’d lived a great life. I had no regrets. But now everything was different.
I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay with him.
And the fact that I couldn’t, that I couldn’t get all of him that I wanted, was devastating.
I didn’t want to leave him.