The brunette’s lilting laugh reached her. Jill wanted to puke.
You were right. It’s happening again.
Maxwell’s gaze dragged her way, lighting on her a moment later. His eyes went wide, brows shooting to the sky. She’d never seen him so surprised. So caught.
“Jill!” He waved for her to come over, and she stiffly joined him, unsure of basically everything around her. There were so many questions clamoring for air inside her. She tried to wave or speak or do anything, but nothing happened.
“I’ll let you two be,” the brunette said, offering Jill a bright smile as she floated away.
“Thanks, Trin,” Maxwell called out after her, sending another round of betrayal streaking through her veins, lurid and hot.
That was Trinity. She’d been texting him since at least Monday. They were familiar with each other. This had been going on under her nose—yet a-fucking-gain.
“What are you doing here, Jill?” Maxwell asked, his shocked smile still lingering on his face. “I thought you’d be at home with the kids.”
“I wanted to surprise you,” she forced out past dry lips. “They’re with Marie right now; Kelsey will be stopping over soon.” She couldn’t believe she’d found her voice to say this much. “So, who was that? She seemed…really friendly.”
“Trinity. She’s my new publicist.” Maxwell paused, eyeing her closely. “Are you jealous?”
Jill crossed her arms, thankful for the general commotion in the locker room, which afforded them a small modicum of privacy. At least if she spoke low enough, their business wouldn’t be aired for all to absorb. “Just be honest with me. Is something going on with her? Is there anything I need to know about?”
Maxwell blinked slowly a few times, surprise moving across his face. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be serious?”
“This is what the fight on Monday night was about, wasn’t it?” He laughed, like it all made sense now. “You don’t trust me.”
She swallowed back a knot in her throat. Shit. She’d imagined this as a heartfelt outpouring but hadn’t exactly imagined it would be a heated outpouring that might turn explosive. Nor had she imagined the where of it, either. As she surveyed their surroundings, this was the last place they needed to be shouting and flinging accusations.
Maxwell took her chin gently between his thumb and forefinger and guided her face back to his. He leaned in close. “Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever given you any reason to believe that I’d hurt you?”
Emotion welled up in her chest. Shit shit shit. “You still haven’t answered my question. Is something going on?”
“No.” Maxwell dug something out of his pocket and produced a business card, displaying it between his index and middle fingers. “Here’s her card. James recommended her.”
Jill’s head felt like it might explode. They needed privacy, and now. “Can we go somewhere else? I have a lot I want to say—”
“Yeah, I have a few things I’d like to say too,” Maxwell spat. Her heart sank.
“Can we go outside? I don’t want everyone…” She gestured helplessly around them. “Where can we go? Our cars? I don’t know.”
“Sure. Let’s head to the cars.” Maxwell frowned as he gathered up his things, stuffing them into his duffel bag. When he slung it over his shoulder, he walked past her, and she followed in his angry wake. He was seething, she could tell, which only made her more disoriented. More confused. She tried to organize her thoughts, rehearse her words. He led them down a hallway that ended in a secret entrance to the VIP parking lot.
“Where’s your car?” he asked.
She pointed. “Over there.” They walked silently to her SUV, Jill fumbling to remember how to unlock her car as they approached. Maxwell slid into the passenger’s side with a scarily neutral face. Once they were safely enclosed in the car, Maxwell turned to her.
“You feel like answering some of my questions now?”
“I guess—”
“Why don’t you trust me, huh?”
She almost laughed with how absurd the situation had become. That was exactly the whole reason she’d wanted to come today—to share the why with him. But it had gotten all fucked up.
“Because…I can’t,” she blurted. “I don’t know how to trust you. You’re surrounded by adoring fans and beautiful women every time you leave the house. You work late, even on days when you shouldn’t. You’re the one who’s gotten to continue the fantasy of a normal life since the accident. You’re a living, breathing sex icon—one who has too many chances to just do whatever the hell he wants.”
Maxwell’s face creased with incredulity. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Jill swallowed hard, trying to beat back the tears that wanted to join the party now.
“That’s insane. You have no basis to say any of this. You basically panic whenever I bring up planning for the long term. I can’t even look ahead to a small vacation with you and the kids because you don’t want to go there. So how am I doing whatever the hell I want? I’m trying to involve you.”
Jill pressed a hand to her forehead. “Maybe. But how many others are there that I don’t know about?”
Maxwell scoffed. “Jesus, Jill. You really think I’ve got a slew of women on the sidelines?”
Tears welled up in her eyes. “Yes! I really think that. I divorced a man a little over a year ago for that exact reason.”
Maxwell was silent for a moment, but the fire in his eyes hadn’t lessened. “That man is not me. I’m not him. Don’t you get that?”
Jill couldn’t answer—the spike in her throat wouldn’t allow it.
Maxwell went on. “I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t think even you know what you want. But it certainly doesn’t sound like it’s me. I don’t know, Jill—maybe we should stop trying. If all you’re going to do is doubt me? I don’t want to live like that.”
A tear escaped her eye, and she hastily wiped it away. Her heart was breaking already, and they’d barely scratched the surface. She’d fallen so much harder than she’d imagined. And she didn’t want this to be the end. But maybe Maxwell was right. Maybe ending it would just be better all around.
“Well, you’ve been doing everything you can to distance yourself from me these past few weeks,” she pointed out, once she had found her voice again. “How could I not doubt you when you do that?”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re one to talk.” He watched her for a long, heated moment, his jaw grinding, and then he pushed open the passenger side door. “I’m done with this.”
Maxwell hopped out of her SUV and stormed away.
Jill covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Even though it didn’t feel like it…this had to be for the best…right?
18
Breaking up was one thing. But breaking up before Christmas was an entirely different matter altogether.
She and Maxwell had gone radio silent except for coordination regarding the kids. When Maxwell texted her after practice one day, floating the idea about taking the kids only to his grandparents’ house for Christmas dinner, she didn’t put up a fight. She knew she’d get her own time with them.