“What should I do?” I asked.
In the movies after someone asks for guidance when they are sitting in a graveyard, a gust of wind suddenly flares up or a person they wouldn’t expect to see shows up and gives them sage advice. There’s a sign that gives the protagonist some clue as to what to do.
This wasn’t the movies. There was no wind. There was no one else here but me. No curse. No ghosts. Just me.
I stood to leave, feeling just as confused as when I sat down and I noticed something shiny sitting on the top of Mama’s gravestone. I reached down and when I picked it up, I saw that it was her firefly necklace. The one that she’d worn every day.
I turned the charm over and read the inscription: A firefly shines in the darkest of nights. Never let the world dim your light.
I looked around for someone, whoever had put this here. There was no one.
Chills ran down my arms as I stared down at the necklace laying in my palm.
This made no sense; she was buried with this. How had it ended up on top of her tombstone?
Was this it?
Was this my sign?
If it was, I still had no clue what I should do.
CHAPTER 33
Skylar
“So what’s going on with you and Hank?” A woman who I’d seen at the grocery store but had never spoken to before tonight asked as she leaned over the bar and winked at me.
“It’s last call. Did you want to close out your tab?” I asked.
If I had a dollar for every time someone had asked me that question or a version of it, I’d be walking away with hundreds of dollars in tips tonight.
There were about fifty people at the party which accounted for one percent of the population of Firefly Island. Yet, somehow, the entire town seemed to know that Hank had thrown Luna a baby shower-themed birthday party over the weekend, and they were all sure that something was going on between us.
The problem was, they weren’t wrong.
After our night together, I had to admit, if only to myself and Ashley, that something was definitely going on. I just had no idea what to do about it. And I definitely wasn’t ready to comment about it.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out secretly hoping it was a message from Hank. It turned out to be from Ashley. There was a photo attached of her feet standing on the black and white checkered tile on her kitchen floor and her cat Mr. Purrfect cuddling up to her legs.
Home. Both safe and sound. Going to sleep. Love you.
She’d texted about an hour ago letting me know that her plane had landed at SFO. I told her to text me when she made it back to her place. I wondered if she would ever be at an age that I would stop worrying about her. I doubted it.
I messaged her back telling her I loved her and put the phone back in my pocket. After finishing up all of my closing duties, I handed in my receipts, credit card slips, and money to Cash and tipped Ray before making the short drive to Mrs. Birch’s house.
It was a little after two a.m. and I should be exhausted. I’d been up since five a.m. The past two nights had been spent tossing and turning in my bed. Sexual frustration was a real thing.
Ashley had joked for years saying that she had lady blue balls, but I’d thought she was just being her normal shocking self. I hadn’t actually thought that they were real. Just like I’d never thought I could have an orgasm from regular intercourse, I’d never thought that my groin could ache from being too turned on. Turns out, I was wrong on both counts.
Every single time I thought about being with Hank, a throbbing began in my core and it only increased if I let my mind dwell on the memories of our night together. I’d tried to handle things myself but the relief was short-lived. So my next line of defense was to try and put the encounter out of my mind completely.
That was proving to be a challenge.
Before I got to the door, Mrs. Birch opened it and quietly ushered me in. I hated that she had to stay up so late on the nights I worked but she assured me it was no bother. She insisted that she was a night owl and that she’d be up anyway.
“How was she tonight?” I whispered as I grabbed her backpack and gazed down at Luna who was sleeping peacefully on Mrs. Birch’s couch.
“Perfect. As always,” she mouthed.
I grinned. I doubted that, but it was always nice to hear that your child was perfect.
“You look tired, dear.” Mrs. Birch’s brows drew together as she studied my face, most likely noticing the dark circles and large bags I was currently rocking beneath my eyes. “Why don’t you just leave her here tonight?”
“Oh no, I couldn’t.” I shook my head. Luna had never had a sleepover before. She’d never spent the night at another’s person’s home. Not even Milly’s.
“Why not? We’re going to the theater in the morning for that art class. I have a change of clothes for her. I’ll sleep on the hideaway, to be here if she wakes up. And you can check on her anytime on the app.” Mrs. Birch continued listing reasons, keeping her voice hushed. “You need a good night’s sleep and I can bring her home right after the class. Well, unless she wants to join me for brunch and my hair appointment. If it’s okay with you, that is.”
These were the moments that no one told you about parenting, the ones that I wished I had a partner to bounce ideas off of. What was the right thing to do here?
I knew that Luna would love to stay the night and go to the art class, and the errands with Mrs. Birch. And I didn’t want my daughter to be scared of anything. I wanted her to be adventurous and daring. But it just felt like it was too soon for a sleepover.
Still, if she’d actually had grandparents like I’d hoped she would, odds are this would be common practice. I wouldn’t be wrestling with the decision. It would be commonplace.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely! We’ll make waffles in the morning. She’s been eyeing my waffle maker. She calls it a pancake iron. I asked her, how is it an iron if it makes the pancakes bumpy? She said she saw my point but still thinks it’s a pancake iron,” she whispered.
My daughter and Mrs. Birch had the sweetest relationship. I was so thankful that she was in our lives. “Well, if you’re sure about keeping her, I could use a good night’s sleep.”
And maybe Hank would still be awake and he could help me with my current case of lady blue balls.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Mrs. Birch pulled the strap of Luna’s backpack off my shoulder. “Go. Sleep.”
“Call me if she wakes up or needs anything.”
“She’ll be fine,” Mrs. Birch shooed me out of her house.
When the door shut, I had a moment of panic that I was doing the wrong thing, but then I pulled up the app on my phone and saw my baby girl, sound asleep, and Mrs. Birch setting up the cot beside her.
Taking a deep breath, I got in my car and told myself that this was the right thing to do. I trusted Mrs. Birch. I reminded myself that I wanted Luna to be fearless. If I was a helicopter mom, there was no way that she would be.
My pep talk did nothing to calm the restlessness I felt as I drove along the serene coastline. It wasn’t a big mystery why I was at loose ends. For the last five years and two nights I hadn’t been away from her at night. I had to admit, as much as I trusted and loved Mrs. Birch, it did make me feel better that I had a live feed to check on her anytime I wanted to. That was the only thing keeping me from turning the car around and going to pick up my baby girl, helicopter mom or not.