‘Oh, I see.’ She felt a knot of apprehension tighten inside her. Was this yet another secret, despite the conversation she’d had with Laura? If it was the same one Ollie had imagined he should keep before, it seemed to have made much more of an impression on him than being passed a surreptitious extra cookie would. ‘Is it a big secret or a little secret?’ she asked cautiously.
He furrowed his brow. ‘A big one,’ he told her, his gaze flicking again to hers.
Sarah’s heart flipped, but she tried to keep things in perspective. It might have nothing to do with Laura. It could simply be that Ollie had invented a secret friend and he wanted to keep him just that: secret. ‘I think you might have a friend. One I can’t see.’ She narrowed her eyes playfully. ‘Am I right?’
Noting that he now looked guilty, her apprehension quadrupled. What on earth …? Whatever this was, he shouldn’t be feeling guilty, for goodness’ sake. ‘I had one when I was your age,’ she told him – a little white lie in hopes of reassuring him and winning his trust, which clearly she needed to. ‘I think it’s okay as long as they’re nice friends. Is your friend a nice friend, Ollie?’
He glanced up from under his eyelashes, his eyes wary. ‘Yes,’ he said in a small voice.
‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it?’ Sarah smiled encouragingly. ‘So, is it a boy or a girl?’ she asked, her heart pounding as she imagined all sorts of nauseating scenarios.
‘A boy,’ Ollie replied at length.
‘And how old is he?’ she probed gently.
‘He’s small, like me.’ He sounded uncertain.
Thank God. She felt relief crash through her. ‘Is he now?’ Her frenetic heartbeat abating a little, she forced a smile.
‘Uh-huh.’ Ollie nodded. ‘I saw him in a photo.’
‘What, an actual real photo?’ She widened her eyes in surprise.
‘Yes. A little one.’ He made a tiny ‘o’ shape with his thumb and forefinger.
Sarah studied him, puzzled. ‘Really?’ she said. ‘Did someone show you the photo?’
His gaze flicked down again.
‘Who is the photo of, Ollie?’ she pressed him. ‘Does he have a name?’
‘Yes.’ Ollie looked uncomfortably back at her. ‘But I’m not supposed to tell you, Mummy.’
Unbelievable! Bloody Laura! She’d been lying to her. She’d told Ollie specifically not to tell Sarah about this – and it was definitely nothing to do with an extra bloody biscuit. Ollie might have a vivid imagination, but there was no way he would invent all this, or the fact that Laura had stressed it was something he should keep secret, quite obviously. She scanned his face, trying not to let her growing anger show in her own. His big blue eyes looked nervously back at her. He was struggling with his conscience, a child his age, for goodness’ sake. She had no idea what game Laura was playing here, but one thing she did know was that she was not getting things out of perspective.
‘You can tell me his name, can’t you? You trust me, don’t you? I cross my heart I won’t tell anyone,’ she cajoled him, and felt terrible for emotionally compromising her child.
‘Jacob,’ Ollie finally disclosed, his forehead set in a worried frown. ‘He’s a superhero and he helps all the fishes, but Laura’s lost him and I want to help him find his way home,’ he said, his little face earnest.
Fifteen
Relieved that Ollie seemed back to his normal self, charging off to play with the other children at the nursery only to charge back again when he remembered he hadn’t said goodbye to her, Sarah crouched to squeeze him into a firm hug. ‘Bye, gorgeous little man. See you later,’ she said, breathing in the smell of him. ‘Be good for Melanie.’
‘I will.’ Hugging her back, he slapped a kiss on her cheek and scooted off again, keen to catch up with his real-life friends.
‘He’ll be fine. He always settles down as good as gold,’ Melanie, the nursery manager, assured her, clearly thinking that the tear that had escaped Sarah’s eye was because she didn’t want to leave him. She was right. Suddenly she felt she didn’t want him out of her sight. She’d almost convinced herself she was being paranoid, that she’d overreacted to Joe pointing out that she was, until this morning’s discovery. Did Steve know Laura was encouraging Ollie to keep secrets? Worrying secrets? She should talk to him. But she wanted to talk to Laura first.
‘I know he will.’ Giving the woman a smile, she pulled herself together. ‘I think I’m just getting overemotional because he seems to be growing up so fast. I’m wondering when he will stop wanting to give his mum a hug.’
‘Not for a while yet.’ Melanie laughed, waving her off as she skidded across the hall to short-circuit an imminent fracas between two toddlers who were claiming first dibs on the soft-play crocodile.
Sarah left her to it and headed back to her car. Climbing in, she took a calming breath, glad that her temper had had time to cool down, warning herself not to dive in and make accusations until she’d established the facts, then selected Laura’s number on her mobile.
‘Hi, Sarah. Is everything all right?’ Laura asked in her usual nervous way when she picked up.
‘I’m not sure,’ Sarah said, wondering how to tackle it and then deciding to take the bull by the horns. ‘Ollie is insistent that you’ve shared something with him and told him specifically not to tell me.’
‘Really?’ Laura sounded puzzled. As she would, meaning she was obviously about to deny it.
‘Before you say anything, yes, I am sure, and no, it doesn’t have anything to do with extra cookies.’
Laura went quiet. ‘I can’t think what else it would be.’
‘Something about a little boy,’ Sarah provided carefully. ‘He was reluctant to tell me at first; I had to prise it out of him. I was annoyed when he said he wasn’t supposed to tell me, as you can imagine.’
‘A little boy?’ Laura repeated, now sounding confused. ‘We never had a conversation about … Oh, wait … his story, of course. I told him a story about a little boy who rescued a lost starfish. I was trying to make him see that superheroes didn’t necessarily need to have superpowers. You know, that they could just be ordinary people? Would that be it?’
Sarah considered. It sounded perfectly feasible, perfectly innocent, but … ‘Possibly,’ she said. Then, ‘Did you show him a photo?’ she asked bluntly.
Laura took a second. ‘No,’ she said. ‘Not that I can remember. Do you think he might have imagined it?’
No, Sarah did not think that, or at least she hadn’t. She’d been on the verge of calling the woman a liar, but now she felt herself backsliding in the face of her plausible explanations. Ollie had said he wasn’t supposed to tell, not that Laura had told him categorically not to. Had Sarah misinterpreted what he’d said, jumped to the wrong conclusion? ‘He’s imagining the little boy is his invisible friend,’ she admitted, somewhat reluctantly, ‘so yes, I suppose he might have.’
‘Do you think that might be why he wants to keep him a secret? Because he might be a bit embarrassed, I mean?’ Laura suggested tentatively.