He gazes deep into my eyes, and it’s like we both can’t look away. Inch by inch, he comes closer, and his body seems to visibly relax as we stare at each other.
My heart rate picks up a notch, making me forget where I am for a moment. Until Bill walks in, letting the door close behind him, that is. “Oops, sorry to interrupt, guys. I just needed another beer.”
Quickly snapping out of it, Jake glances over to Bill. “That’s okay, buddy. Help yourself. I need to excuse myself.” Without another word, Jake hurries out the door, leaving me to grab a beer from the fridge for Bill.
“Here you go, big fella.” I sit down at the table with my wine, noticing out of the corner of my eye that Bill is joining me.
“That looked pretty intense there.”
Embarrassed to look, I say, “Did it?”
I hear him chuckle. “You could cut the sexual tension with a knife.”
Smiling, I glance over towards him seeing his own smile. “Is that so?”
He nods, keeping his smirk, but then he suddenly drops it. “I hope you don’t mind me saying this.” He sighs, placing both hands on the table as if he has something serious to say. “I think I should just rip the Band-Aid off and get straight to the point. Jake loves you.”
I laugh a little, but nod. “Yes, of course he does. We are a family. We’ve been together through thick and thin for nearly a year now.”
Bill frowns at my statement. “I think you misunderstood me. He loves you, Ana. I see the way he looks at you—the way he always looks at you. It’s not hard to see from an outside perspective, and I’ve been at this game far too long not to notice when someone’s in love.”
I nearly spit my drink out. “You must be mistaken. There’s a huge difference between loving someone and being in love. He simply doesn’t see me that way.”
“Do you love him?” he asks as if it’s the easiest question in the world to answer. Still, I know that there is only one answer.
“Yes,” I sigh, feeling relief flood through me at my confession.
Bill’s expression widens in shock. “Well, that was easier than I thought.”
I feel emotionally drained all of a sudden. “I’m tired of fighting it, Bill. Tired of keeping it hidden. Tired of the constant knots in my stomach when I see him and must remind myself that he can’t be mine.”
Bill, leaning forward, grabs my hand. “Did you know I’ve known that boy for nearly eighteen years now?” I shake my head on a slight frown. Jake had never mentioned it. “I was a good friend of his father, and he was only a teenager when I met him. He was a bit of a rascal and had a very carefree attitude until he met Matthew’s mother and she became pregnant. I put him on the straight and narrow, and Mr. Sensible was born right then and there. His life was probably very simple and boring until you came into his life.” His smirk suddenly reappears again, making him look ten years younger.
I straighten up. “Me? What have I done?”
“My dear, you have brought life back into him. I’ve never seen Jake like this before. I can see it eating away at him, his obvious feelings towards you. It’s fun to watch, but he does need a good kick in the ass.”
I let out a giggle. “So you don’t think it’s all wrong, him and me?”
He shakes his head. “Of course not. Your mother was completely wrong for him. I was quite shocked when I met her and couldn’t understand why he eventually moved her in, especially as I could see Matthew wasn’t too keen either. That is, of course, until I met you, and it all clicked into place.”
I laugh at the thought. “Bill, please. Surely you’re not saying that he moved my mother in just to be close to me?”
He nods with absolute conviction. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. He’s not a predator, and his intentions were always honorable towards you. I believe he just wanted to be with you—to protect you—even if it did torture him in the process.”
I open my mouth in shock. “No, you must be wrong. He loved my mother and wanted to marry her.”
He shakes his head again with a slight tsk under his breath. “That was a grave mistake on his part. I think he was trying to kid himself that he could make it work with her even though it was a lost cause. Sorry, I don’t want it to sound mean towards your mother, but they were not right for one another. I tried to talk to Jake about this and even suggested that he picked the wrong Sinclair, but he nearly ripped my head off.”
I’m about to ask more when Alison walks in. “There you are, Bill. I was looking for you.” She then spots me, looking concerned. “Ana, you look upset. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, sorry, just boring Bill about my mother.” I give him a knowing look and Bill just pats my hand with a tender smile.
“Yes, that was a shock that she left. Have you heard from her?”
Well, if you count that sorry excuse for a letter as hearing from her, then yes.
I shrug my shoulders a little. “Only to say she was sorry, but other than that, nothing.”
I watch as Alison wanders over to Bill, and he protectively places his hand on her shoulder. “Well, you are her daughter. I’m sure she will be in touch at some point once she sorts herself out.”
Bill lets go of my hand and gives me a questionable look. One that asks if I’m okay. I nod back, and I think he’s satisfied as his stare immediately leaves mine and lands to Alison.
“Let me get you a drink, darling.” Bill gets up and taps Alison on the bottom, making her yelp. I burst out laughing, and Alison starts to blush.
“It’s lovely to see that,” I say, looking at them in awe.
Bill quickly grabs Alison’s hand and kisses it. “Married twenty-seven years, and she still sets my heart alight.”
Alison looks dreamily back into Bill’s eyes, heartened by his words as they lightly kiss each other. I’m so caught up in the private moment between the two of them that I have to excuse myself before everyone finds me a blubbering mess.
Leaving the kitchen, I head to the bathroom to freshen up. I also need time to compose myself a little after everything that both Jake and Bill have confessed tonight. My head’s spinning from it all. Could Jake really love me in that way? Surely not. He’s always been so straight with me and so serious. Until recently, he hadn’t given me much more than a slight inkling that the way he felt about me was anything more than platonic.
As I stare at myself in the mirror, the memory of us kissing makes my lips tingle. Without thinking, I lift my fingers up to touch them. I close my eyes, savoring that sweet moment in my memory. For a year, I dreamed of him kissing me. For a year, I had dreamed of him touching me like no other man has ever touched me. I knew from the pent-up lust in my veins from the past year that coming together for us was going to be explosive. I just never in my wildest dreams believed that it would ever come true. For me, Jake had ruined me. I was destined never to find anyone who would ever remotely come close to him. That is how passionate I feel about him.
With a shake of my head, I gather my thoughts together and open the door to find that quite a few people have already left. I look around the room and see Jake talking with James and Bill. He glances over at me again, and again, my knees go weak. When am I ever going to be able to control myself around him?