I nearly cry. Never mind the fact that this is by far the hottest image I’ve ever seen, but this guy, he’s their entire world, and they’re his.
It’s later, after I put Camdyn to bed, that I sneak into Barron’s room where he’s lying with Sev on the bed. Carefully, I slip in next to him. So far, it hasn’t been a big deal that I’m sleeping in the bed with him. The girls don’t seem to mind that I’m sleeping in here, nor have they asked about it.
Barron’s still rubbing Sev’s back, soothing her in that gentle way I find so damn endearing about him.
He smiles at me. “I don’t know what’s more upsetting. Her being sick, or that I’m not getting any tonight.”
I laugh lightly and bring his blankets up to cover my mouth. I peek at him with just my eyes uncovered. “You’re awfully greedy. We just had sex a few hours ago.”
“That was four hours ago, but who’s counting?”
“You are,” I tease.
He sighs, staring at me. “I can’t help it. You’re addicting.”
His words settle over me, and yeah, I thought it was nice to be desired, but being addicted to, I like the sound of that. My only experience with friends has been because of who my mother is, or my dad. They all wanted something from me.
“I’m beginning to think all you want from me is sex.”
“How else are you going to pay for all that work I did on your car?”
I snap my eyes to him. “Seriously?”
He laughs. “Relax. I’m kidding.”
I don’t say anything, and he shifts Sev off his chest and to the center of the bed. We stare at one another, and I think he can tell his remark bothered me.
He lifts my chin, tenderness in his dark eyes. “You know it’s not just sex for me, right?”
“I think… but I don’t know. I don’t even know you. And you certainly don’t have time for much else in your life. I also can’t blame you for that. I kinda, well, literally crashed into your life.”
“Technically, you crashed into my building.” His eyes dip and he laughs lightly. Sev shifts, curling into him but doesn’t wake up. It’s then we’re locked in another stare, and he smiles. “You entering my life might have been an accident, but I made the choice to ask you to stay.”
“Look at you turning it around,” I tease, rubbing Sev’s back lightly.
“What do you mean?”
“Now I’m bummed we’re not having sex when you start talking like that.”
He winks. “All part of my plan to make you fall for me.”
I roll on my back. “Too late,” I whisper, staring at the ceiling. I’m too afraid to look at him when I say it, but by the way our hands meet in the middle of the mattress, where his daughter is lying, I know he heard me.
I can’t get your smile out of my head
There’s you, and there’s me.
And I’m lost in the way my body feels laid bare on your bed.
-falling
Can I keep everyone?
KACY
It takes two days before Sev is feeling better from her ear infection. By Saturday, while Barron is working with Morgan on the ranch, she’s feeling good enough to venture outside. With the help of Lillian, we take the girls into downtown Amarillo to pick out a gift for Barron for Christmas.
While the girls watch a movie in the back of Lillian’s truck, she whispers, “Does he know yet?”
I groan, my face in my hands. “No. And the more we… you know…” I motion between my legs just in case she doesn’t get it. “The harder it gets.”
“Because you’re falling for him,” Lillian adds, looking over at me.
I stare at the white roads lined with snow. I totally am. Three weeks ago, sunshine, lies, and palm trees were my only views. Now there’s open roads and words I can’t say. I rationalize to myself that I’m not lying to him. Withholding information isn’t the same as lying, right? “I’m so afraid if I tell him my connection with Tara, he’ll end whatever this is we have, and that’s the opposite of what I want to happen.”
Lillian sighs, moving around a snowplow parked on the side of the road. “I’ve known Barron my entire life. You have nothing to be worried about. Just tell him the truth, and I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“What’s he like? I mean, I see a side of him… good with the girls, caring, hardworking, but is that what he’s really like?”
She smiles, unrestricted. “That’s exactly him. Both the Grady boys. Bishop raised them right. They work hard for what they want and love even harder. And those girls are his entire world. He’d do anything for them.”
I look back at the girls, both covered in blankets, eyes glued to the DVD screens on the headrests and their headphones pushing their adorable chubby cheeks together. “What was Tara thinking?”
“She wasn’t. Clearly.” Lillian snorts. “She was my best friend growing up. When she got together with Barron, I warned him to steer clear of her, but he didn’t listen. That’s the thing about him. Barron doesn’t always listen to logic.”
Would he see mine? Sighing, I stare out at passing farmlands. “What’s going on with you and Morgan?”
“I don’t know.” She sighs. “I don’t understand any of it.”
“They’re getting a divorce, aren’t they?”
“Yeah. Apparently she’s pregnant.”
My eyes widen. “What? Seriously?”
“I guess so. He doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“Is he going to be a part of the baby’s life?” And then I remember what Barron said. Morgan and the bull. “Wait… Barron said he couldn’t have kids….”
Lillian looks over at me, a “yeah, fuck that bitch” expression on her face. “She was seeing some guy from Tulsa. Morgan’s devastated by it, and now I don’t know where that leaves us but in the middle of a nasty divorce.”
“I thought they’d settled on her only wanting half of the savings.”
“They did, until he found out she was pregnant.”
“Man, the Grady boys really get fucked over by women.” And then I realize what I said and my current predicament and hers. I shake my head when we both burst out laughing.
She places her hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know how you ended up here by chance, but you might just be the best thing that’s happened to me.” Her eyes drift to the rearview mirror. “And them.”
Breathing in deeply, I nod. “I’m going to tell him. Tonight.”
“Did you have fun shopping today?” I ask the girls, getting them ready for bed. They ended up getting him a T-shirt that says: I HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS. YOU DON’T SCARE ME.
Barron had to go help Morgan bring in cattle tonight that got out into the wrong field thanks to a ranch hand leaving a gate open. I was certainly happy to do this part. I’ve worked my way into a weird, domesticated life where I’m helping out with the girls and telling myself it’s payment for him fixing my car. Which is done and sitting in his shop like a forgotten toy. I don’t ask about it. He doesn’t either.