“I like you,” Camdyn tells me, brushing my hair as Sev asks to have my fingernails. My fucking fingernails. She wants them for a spell she’s working on but won’t tell me what it is.
This little girl and her magic, I love it.
I got online the other day and ordered a vintage spellbook that I had them engrave her name on for Christmas. I don’t know if I’ll still be here next week, but I want her to have it. Maybe because even if I leave tomorrow, I want these girls to remember me in some way.
For Camdyn, Lillian helped me pick out some custom Ariat boots for her that have her favorite colors, brown and teal on them.
“I like you too.”
“Can you stay with us?” She takes the brush from my hand and then curls up beside me. “My daddy likes you.”
I press a kiss to her wet hair. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. I like him too.”
Fuck, it’s more than liking him. Look at the way my damn heart skips a beat at the sight of him. I love this guy, and I just met him.
Sev sighs and flops down beside me. “Tell me a story.”
I move from the bed to the floor where their shag rug is. Both girls curl up to me with their blankets, the soft dim lighting of their twinkle lights on their ceiling giving them the appearance of stars in their eyes. “Once upon a time, there was a princess. She lived in a big castle and found a prince and—”
“Oh, that’s terrible,” Sev says, shaking her head. “I not marrying no stinkin’ boy.”
Camdyn laughs. “If you want babies, you gots to marry a boy.”
Sev doesn’t even entertain the idea and frowns. “No way.”
I hold both of them closer, content with never leaving this room. “Okay, once upon a time, there was a lady with snakes in her hair.”
Sev’s eyes light up. “Love it. Keep going.”
I hate that I want to be a part of his life and theirs so badly I’m forgetting that my time here could be limited beyond him fixing my car.
In Barron’s room, he’s sitting on the bed, his eyes narrowed on me. “Are they asleep?”
“I think, but you know them,” I tease, closing the bedroom door behind me and locking it.
He waits several seconds, enough that I sit on the bed beside him. His eyes roam over my face as he lifts his hand to touch my cheek, his thumb brushing under my eye. “Stay for Christmas.”
“What?”
“The girls love you,” he says, his eyes searching mine. “Stay for Christmas.”
“Barron… I shouldn’t,” I say instead. “I’ve been meaning….”
He presses his fingers to my lips. “I want you to stay.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, the confusion unbearable. I shake my head and know that if I don’t tell him soon, it’s going to ruin any chance of forgiveness. He’s kissing his way up my throat, making it harder and harder to give him the truth.
I turn my face to his as he’s worked his way up my throat to my lips. “Do you believe in fate?”
He pauses and looks me in the eyes. “Maybe.”
“Maybe? What kind of answer is that?”
“It’s the one I give when I’m trying to fuck you.” He grunts, lying me flat on his mattress and covering my body with his.
Okay, I’ll tell him after this.
I know, I’m a dumbass. You don’t have to tell me. At least I’m a knowing dumbass and taking responsibility. Working my shirt off, he unbuttons my jeans, prying them off. Before I know it, he’s inside me, and I forget about what I want to say.
I wrap my arms around him, my legs following suit. “Don’t stop.”
He lifts up with the support of his arms, his hips driving inside me at the right angle. “I didn’t plan to.”
I moan his name, God’s, and pretty much anything that comes to mind as he fucks me. Shuddering beneath him, I’m not sure which one of us is breathing heavier. Him or me.
He pushes into me once more, his weight heavier as he kisses me. “Kacy,” he says, grunting my name as his body shakes. “So fucking good with you.”
“I know.” Because I do. It’s the reason I can’t tell him. Everything is so natural between us, as if this is meant to be.
Rolling to the side, he keeps me close, but there’s a distance between us I’ve created. He lifts his head and looks over at me. “Need a shower?”
I laugh. “Are you saying I stink?”
“No. I’m saying I need a shower and I don’t want to shower alone.” He rolls off the bed, and I watch his lean, naked body as he moves toward his bathroom. He waits at the door, smiling back at me. “Join me?”
I’m going to tell him.
In the morning. Shower first.
Come on. You knew it was coming down to this at some point.
BARRON
“Can we make Christmas cookies?” Camdyn asks, looking from me to Kacy as she kicks at the snow.
Clumps of it hit my boots as I gaze down at her. “Sure.”
“Kacy.” Camdyn reaches for her hands, swinging them around. “You want to help us?”
“I’d love to,” Kacy gushes, smiling as if she’s never been asked to make anything with a child. Which isn’t true. Yesterday, Sev and she made a witch's hat out of newspaper and then spray-painted it black. Sev hasn’t taken it off since.
I lean my shoulder into Kacy’s as we walk, the frozen snow crunching beneath our feet. It catches her attention, and she looks over at me, a gentle smile on her lips. “They love having you here for Christmas,” I tell her.
“I love being here. I’ve never had a real family Christmas. I can’t wait to do all the things. Cookies, wrapping presents, singing Christmas carols. I’m literally so excited.”
“You’ve never had a Christmas with your family?” I ask, my breath coming out with a cloud into the frigid air.
The wind blows Kacy’s hair into her face, and she fights with turning her head away from it to keep it out of her eyes. “No. Not really. Not like what I imagine it to be. Snowy morning with hot chocolate and kids opening presents. Big Christmas dinner with laughter, egg nog, and both parents there, not fighting. No dad showing up shit-faced with a chick he met the night before and calling her a friend and knowing damn well he boned her. No mom telling you to be grateful you have such nice things when she gives you a car for Christmas when all you wanted was her to love you.” She blinks, tears forming. “You would think having parents who could afford anything you wanted would be perfect growing up, but I was only ever filled with disappointment because they never saw what I really wanted. Them. To notice me.”
I stare over at her, the girls’ laughter filling the silence in the distance. “You know nobodies’ Christmas is perfect, right?” I try to ease some humor into my words, fearing she’s going to start crying if I don’t. “I mean, Morgan… we know this Christmas isn’t gonna be perfect.”
She stifles her laughter with her gloved hand, and if perfection did exist, it resides in this moment, with flushed cheeks, a smile, and blue eyes. I don’t know where this is going, but with her, I’m willing to find out.