And now here we are, expecting another child who we conceived in those weeks after she returned to Amarillo. Funny how that works, huh?
Actually, I want to know how it happened because she was on birth control. Kacy jokes that Sev cast a spell on us and you know, she’s not wrong. It’s terrifying to think about.
I know one thing. When I built this house, I never thought I’d be adding to it. And now here I am, in the middle of a blazing hot summer, sweating my balls off and trying to add another room and bathroom before the end of September.
Five minutes later, Kacy comes outside, waddling toward me, barefoot and ready to pop any day. “You need these, babe?”
Pink-cheeked, she’s wearing shorts, and her tank top’s riding up so her swollen belly is on display. She’s the prettiest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen, and I find it hard not to drag her inside. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.” I take the box from her, our fingers brushing in the process. It’s then I notice Camdyn never came back. “Where’s Camdyn?”
“Folding baby clothes,” she gushes. “So cute. She keeps folding them and arranging everything for the baby.”
I laugh. “When Sev was born, she wouldn’t talk to me. Not that she talked that much anyways, but man, she was pissed at me when we brought Sev home. I think she thought she was a doll.”
Kacy uses me to sit on the edge of the framed room we’ve yet to get walls on yet. We decided to give Camdyn our room, the baby Sev’s room that she doesn’t sleep in, and build a bigger master suite away from the kids’ bedrooms. For obvious reasons.
As she’s sitting next to me, she looks between her legs and then to me, wide-eyed. “I either peed myself, again or… my water just broke.”
“Wait, did you say again? As in you peed yourself once already?”
“Uh, yeah. There’s a watermelon on my bladder. I’ve lost all control down there.”
I glance between her legs and smile. “Baby time.”
Kacy’s eyes widen, face pale. “What? No. I’m not ready. I haven’t even packed my bag.”
“Yes you did. It’s in the truck, remember?” I stand and help her up.
“But we don’t have a name.”
“We’ll think of one.”
“We don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”
I stare at her, making her face me. “Darlin’,” I whisper, pressing my lips to hers.
She sighs, her breathing evening out. “But… I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never had a baby before and I watched Lulu deliver her foal and that was messy. What if I make a huge mess and my vagina never goes back to the same size? What if you’re disappointed?”
“I won’t be.” I pull her with me toward the truck. “Sev! Get my keys.”
“No thanks,” she mumbles, taking a handful of dirt and pouring it over her cat. Who does not move.
Refusing to move, Kacy yanks on my hand. “But you might be. Vagina tightness is important.”
“I’m not really concerned about that.” I am, but I’m not about to tell my freaked-out wife that.
“Barron, I’m serious.” Kacy stomps her foot down.
I look back at her and realize while I’ve been through this twice, she hasn’t. This is all new to her and she’s terrified. “It’s okay. Everything will go smoothly.”
Those should have been my last words because no, things don’t go smoothly. It takes forever to find my keys. I run out of gas in my truck on the way there. Morgan picks us up and Kacy pretty much hates my guts by the time we get there.
“I told you I wasn’t prepared!” Kacy shouts at me, between contractions still holding onto the last traumatic hour. “And neither were you!”
“Just because my truck was low on gas doesn’t mean I wasn’t prepared,” I tell her, trying to rub her back.
She knocks my hand away. “Stop touching me. I’m trying to push your baby out of me.” With her head bent forward, she levels the doctor a serious but terrified look. “I’m real sorry I have a vajungle down there. I can’t see it anymore and my husband didn’t tell me it looked like that.”
She shoots me a glare and the doctor laughs.
“How am I the bad guy here? I was trying to be nice.”
“Nice is one thing.” I’m handed another glare. “Not telling me my how big my ass had gotten, that’s something else entirely.”
“Kacy, I need you to push,” the doctor tells her, probably hoping she’ll listen to him.
“I can’t be here,” Sev groans, standing up from her place after we tell her no, she can’t have the placenta.
Thankfully Lillian ushers the girls out of the room because it’s then it dawns on me that they shouldn’t be in here for this. That leaves me alone with my very freaked-out wife who is about to give birth for the first time. I can’t blame her for being scared. I passed out when Camdyn was born and was drunk the day Sev was born.
Beside me, Kacy starts crying and I grab her hand. “Come on now, honey. You gotta push.”
Her eyes lock on mine. “Okay.”
Five minutes later, our third baby enters the world. And when I look at Kacy, I see the day we met. Only us, a beginning, and this is what forever feels like.
He’s the cutest thing in the entire world.
KACY
I don’t remember much about the delivery. I was so freaked out once my water broke that the second they offered me drugs, I stuck out my arm and said, “Inject me, bitch.” Popping a seven-pound baby out my vag just sounded a whole lot better with drugs. I do remember Sev asking if she can see what the placenta looks like. And Camdyn constantly trying to make sure I was okay. And I remember the moment my baby boy took his first breath.
A boy. I was this beautiful boy’s mama.
I remember reading somewhere that when a mother has a girl first, it’s because she needs to mature. When she has a boy first, she needs to experience real love.
I think it’s fitting that I have a son because growing up, I’m not sure I ever experienced that kind of love. At least not from my mother. But my kids will never ever have to question my love.
“I love him so much, Barron,” I cry, holding our son to my chest. Our very pissed-off and screaming son that’s covered in, I don’t want to know, but I hold him. The way Barron holds the girls. The way a mother should hold her children. “I love him so, so much.”
“You did good, darlin’,” he tells me, touching our son’s head and then kissing my forehead. “What should we name him?”
I smile around my tears. “Austyn.”
“It’s perfect.”
This is perfect.
In you, I found myself.
-finding forever
I’m not crying, you are!
BARRON
A son. I have a son. A little boy to carry on the Grady name.
My dad stares down at the boy in my arms. “He looks like you.”
I fight through tears and nod, unable to give him any sort of reply. I’m afraid if I do, my words will shake and won’t hold the confidence I want them to.