How did I express to Maya that I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone in my entire life? That she was fundamental to my existence? That she was a glowing warmth, like a candle that seemed to light up and infiltrate all of the shadows that crowded the corners of my life and my past? She did it in ways that she wouldn’t even recognize. Things that shouldn’t have made a difference but instead added a depth to my life that I didn’t expect to ever feel.
It was even in the smallest things—like Bella.
Bella, who was currently sleeping off the shadow magic that I had used to protect her while traveling through the portal and then to the Fire Lands. Bella, who I had without a doubt started to consider my own dragon whelp, despite her being very much a kitten. Although I could blame my dragon for that one. He was convinced that Maya should be a mother by now anyway, so the fact that we were taking care of a small creature together only confirmed his thought process, and he had all but adopted Bella into his protection. I didn’t disagree with the action.
I had also avoided the fuck out of those thoughts as much as possible, but with my inability to stay relaxed around her, they were growing. I wanted her to believe I was as calm and collected as she assumed, but I was far from it. I had just accepted how much I wanted her, and I was trying to gauge how much of this insanity I could let her see without sending her running for the hills.
Something we would immediately bring her back from, as my dragon unhelpfully reminded me. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to not get further turned on not only by the concept of chasing and catching Maya, but then marking and claiming her as ours completely. That wasn’t even including the instinctual and primal urge that was eating away at me to do just what my dragon wanted, to get her sexy ass pregnant. To create a life with her. It would only complicate things, especially right now, but he didn’t see reason, and unfortunately, that was starting to change my judgement as well. I mean… would it really be that complicated? I felt like there were enough of us that together we could figure it out if that was something Maya wanted as well.
I had to admit, I had never expected these thoughts to appeal to me. Marco? Sure. Maybe even Henry, considering their instincts as alpha and beta would be so aligned with growing our flight. But the past few days, this rush of desire to mate with her completely had hit me like a Mack truck. I had been attracted to Maya the first moment I’d seen her and had been imagining sliding into her tight warmth since then, but this was different. This was overwhelming, and I had absolutely no idea what to do with the fact that I legitimately wanted to get Maya pregnant. As in, the thoughts were strong enough that Henry was catching whispers of them despite him usually keeping out of our heads. The bastard found it amusing, but that was only because it made him feel better about his dragon that was a snap away from being out of control completely.
Both of us were fighting a losing battle when it came to Maya.
I would just avoid the concept of her becoming a mother unless she somehow alluded to being ready for that. It was painful enough that Marco had told me about what she had said before brunch, about how she wanted to be a mother for sure. Practically confirmation. No. We needed more than that. But if she ever did say that, I would never question her.
A low groan broke from my throat as I imagined Maya whispering in my ear, asking me to get her pregnant as I rode her hard. The fact that I knew it was a likely scenario once the mating heat hit only made the concept that much more appealing. Honestly, I was a bit concerned that I would never leave her tight little pussy once she let me between her legs. Either that or I would be begging her day-in and day-out for her to let me back inside of her.
It was one of the reasons that I was hoping our first time would be before the mating heat hit. Before our animals decided to take over completely. Either way, I would never deny her or what she needed. I was absolutely lost when it came to this woman. Still, I worried that with the mating heat riding her hard, my dragon would be more inclined to take over, and I wanted to fully experience Maya for myself the first time.
I had absolutely no doubt it would be unforgettable.
“It should be the door ahead,” Sai commented quietly, causing me to pull from my thoughts. Ahead was a pair of large golden doors that had large dragon-like door handles in a vibrant emerald green. Maya’s eyes tracked every glittery surface we passed, and I found myself wanting to find her more objects and places that would result in the same interested light flashing in her gaze.
Maya stopped suddenly, her body going rigid as her hand tightened on mine to the point that it caused me to frown, rounding to face her as I watched her golden eyes darken to a camel brown. Sai and Croy both offered me a look as I gently led her towards one of the benches that lined the hallway, sitting down as Maya stepped between my legs, her eyes running over my face as she seemed to be struggling to say something. I didn’t understand what was going on with her, but it was very obviously something.
“Angel,” I spoke softly, her eyes tracking the movement of my lips. “What’s wrong?”
Licking her lips, she frowned. “You guys are going to stay with me, right?”
I could see the anxiety that surrounded our answer, and I immediately went to comfort her. “Of course we are going to be there with you, especially for the first part and everything about being a phoenix. If you want to talk to her afterwards alone though, no one would blame you. Especially if you need to ask her questions.”
I mean, frankly I would probably have some questions if I had seven mates.
“Why wouldn’t I want you in there?” Her delicate nose scrunched in confusion.
Croy let out a soft rumble. “She is probably going to also want to talk to you about mating heat and—”
“Well, considering you’re my mates, you should be there,” Maya confirmed, her eyes filling with surety that had me wondering what her anxiety was really about. “I just wish the others were here.”
Before any of us could respond, the office doors opened. Croy walked forward, followed by Sai, probably attempting to buy us a minute. I immediately grabbed Maya’s hips and spoke softly. “What’s this really about, Maya? What’s going on?”
Her soft lips opened and then shut before she finally inhaled and nodded. “I am worried about what she is going to tell me. I am worried she is going to tell me that something is wrong with me health-wise… or that I’m not like a normal shifter. Or something even worse. I don’t know, I just am so worried all the sudden about what she is going to say—”
Gently tugging her onto one of my knees to sit, I cupped her jaw and kissed her deeply. A soft, happy sigh broke from her lips, her hands stringing through my hair. My dragon hated how worked up she was, and the little worried noise breaking from her throat had me wanting to take her away from this damn doctor. She didn’t ever need to feel anxious, in my mind, and I would do some pretty extreme shit to keep that emotion from affecting her. I knew it was unavoidable to some extent—it was clear Maya had anxiety, and rightly so after everything she’d been through. Still, I wanted to calm her down, no matter how she needed that to happen. I wanted to fix all of her problems, even if I knew it wasn’t possible and she wasn’t asking me to. It was a compulsion.
“Atlas.” Her soft voice against my lips had me admitting things that I had been trying to figure out for days.