“It seemed so simple until we actually got here,” I admit. “I mean, who knew there were so many options?”
Jesse’s eyes sparkle over the top of Jett’s head. “What kind of fishing?”
“I don’t know. The kind where you catch fish?”
He gives a low laugh. “Okay. Where does he catch these fish?”
“He’s talking about heading to the cabin in a few weeks. So the lake maybe? The creek?”
“These are big stream flies.” He lifts his chin toward the smorgasbord of weird feathery looking things I’d been staring naively at. “These would work on a big river and some wider parts of the creek up north, but chances are you want something for a standard pole. For bass, trout, bluegill… that kind of thing.”
“Uh huh.” I have no idea what he’s talking about, other than trout have speckles, right?
“Come here.” He angles his head toward another aisle, and I follow him and Jett with the cart. Before I know it, I have fifteen different kinds of hooks, bobbers, sinkers and tackle in my cart, along with a handy box for it all, and some new, highbrow fishing line that’s apparently ‘as smooth as butter’.
“Wow, thank you.” I smile and press my hand to my stomach. Butterflies of gratitude? Imagine that. “Dad will love this.”
Jesse lifts a shoulder and smiles. “Glad I could help. And for future reference, you could have called me. I don’t mind.”
“I know. It’s just...” My face warms and I glance down at the cart, the fluttering in my belly rising. “Probably not appropriate.”
When he doesn’t respond, I look up to find his brow creased and his eyes narrowed. “So, I take it lunch would be really inappropriate.”
A lunch date with Jesse Enders? Good God. I nod, even as my stomach growls and something inside of me begs me to take him up on the offer. “I’m sorry.”
“Nah, it’s all right. I’m running short on time today anyway.” He flashes a crooked grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes, and I hate the disappointment I see there instead. I hate even more that Jett has to miss out on the opportunity to spend extra time with him, too, especially when the birthday party had been cut short on Saturday, too.
“So, you’re pretty busy this week, huh?” I ask.
Jesse blows out a breath. “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy right now. Completely lost today coming down here, too, but it had to be done.”
I bite my lip and nod.
“Why?”
“Oh, just asking. Polite conversation and all.”
“Hayden...” He lifts an eyebrow and gives me that classic don’t lie to me stare.
“I was just going to say you could take him with you today, if you wanted, rather than coming back on Friday. It’d give you more time together. You know, if that’s something you wanted.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I wish I’d kept them in. I don’t want him to feel bad for having to say no.
“But I know you can’t and that’s okay. I just... I wanted you to know that you could if you wanted to.” And I’m repeating myself like a moron.
Jesse stares at me for a beat and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. Probably that I’m cruel for dangling the opportunity in front of him, knowing damn well he can’t take it.
“Let’s get you checked out,” he says, an edge to his voice that only adds to the guilt. “We can talk more outside.”
I sigh and let him lead me to the registers. While I unload my things and pay with shaking hands, he stands close with Jett. He’s not touching me, but he’s close enough that I can feel his heat. No wonder my stomach is a mess.
“What a sweetheart.” The young woman at the cash register smiles at Jett while she hands over my receipt. “I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you two make really cute kids.”
Jesse sticks his tongue in his cheek and smirks, while my face lights on fire. Not once in the past four years has anyone ever made that kind of comment to me and Lane, yet the very first time I’m out with Jesse…
We barely make it to the parking lot, when he busts out laughing. “Holy shit, your face!”
“She totally thought we were together,” I groan. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. He is ours and he is pretty friggin’ cute.” He lifts his chin toward my white Subaru a few spots away. “That you?”
I nod and lead him over. While I put my bags in the trunk, he gets Jett situated in his car seat, then takes the cart to the corral for me. He strolls back casually, a lingering smile amidst that sexy beard.
“Thank you again for the help.” I jangle my keys in my hand, suddenly unsure of what to say. “I should probably let you get going.”
“Yeah.” He runs a hand around the back of his neck. “About taking him back with me now…”
“I’m sorry. I know you’re busy—”
He cuts me off with a wide grin. “I’d love to. I mean, I’d have to take him to my mom’s tomorrow and Friday, but we’d have the nights together.”
A wave of relief washes over me and that’s not a feeling I normally associate with Jett going up north. “He would love that.”
“Yeah, I think so.” He hesitates, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
“I want to.” And I mean it. As much as I miss Jett when he’s gone, I love knowing he gets to spend time with Jesse, too. I bite my lip and glance away, because that’s another thought that has me feeling some kind of way.
“What’s going on with you lately?” he asks out of nowhere, and my momentary relief is exchanged with prompt self-consciousness.
“What do you mean?”
“That inappropriate comment back there…” He tips his head toward the store. “Did I do something wrong, city girl?”
Other than accidentally getting me pregnant, becoming an amazing dad, and still giving me butterflies? “No. Not at all.”
“Hayden, don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not.” I just… I don’t know how to do this with him and make things work with Lane and feel all of this… whatever the hell it is.
“You can talk to me, you know. Even if it doesn’t involve me.”
“Isn’t that what got us into this mess in the first place?” I say without thinking and his brows dart up.
“I don’t consider it a mess.”
“I don’t either.” I swallow hard as the warm breeze flits my hair across my face. “And maybe that’s part of the problem.”
“Whose problem?” When I don’t respond, he makes a throaty sound. “Is that what happened on Saturday?”
I’m silent again, because I don’t want to lie to him, but I can’t tell him the truth either. That my current relationship is on the rocks because of our not-really-a-relationship five summers ago.
“Look, you don’t have to tell me. But know this...” He steps close enough that I can’t miss the tension in his jaw nor the intensity in his eyes. “I’m not going to stop being his dad or your partner in this just because he’s sick of me coming around.”