“Hey,” I put a hand on his arm, the muscle flexing with tension under my touch. “I’m tougher than I look,” I assured him with a small smile.
He looked me in the eye, his eyes a lighter grey than I’d ever seen as tension knitted his brow. “I can take on five men,” he rasped as I wondered where he was going with this. “I’ve been stabbed. Shot once,” he added, his hand moving to the puckered scar I noticed before on his shoulder. “I grew up with a violent father whose acts against me, my brother and my mother were unconscionable.”
My eyes pooled with tears as he shared this piece of himself with me. I knew his childhood hadn’t been a happy one. I knew he had a darkness in him that when freed could envelop any light. I’d always wanted to know where it came from. He’d never spoke about his father and I wanted desperately to understand what he’d been through. But this wasn’t the time.
He moved a hand through my hair as his eyes locked on the movement of his fingers gliding through my chestnut strands. “I’d sooner go through all that again. Hell, I’d do it all at the same fucking time if it meant I didn’t have to cause you more pain right now.” He swallowed.
I took his huge hand in mine, squeezing tightly, giving him what little comfort I could. “I know it might be selfish,” I explained quietly. “But I need it to be you. Everything’s all screwed up and your hands are the only ones I want on me.” His grey eyes snapped to mine. “It won’t hurt as bad if it’s you,” I added.
He nodded, straightening to his full height. “All right, baby,” he rasped.
It took thirty horrible minutes to pull out every shard of glass from my skin. The hardest part was hiding my reaction. I knew it would make it so much harder on him if I showed my pain. So I bit it back with everything I had, even as the tweezers dove in deep.
“Goddammit, Sophie, I know this has to be fucking agony!” he swore when we were nearly done. “Don’t hide your pain from me! Give it to me so I can take it from you.”
I nodded, letting the tears fall freely as I sucked in a ragged breath. It did feel better not to have to hide it. “How did you find me?” I asked, wincing as he pulled another shard out.
“I can’t talk about tonight right now, baby. I’ll lose my shit. Later, okay? I’ll tell you everything I know,” he assured me.
I appreciated that he knew I’d want to know the details.
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Jill wants to come out,” he told me, sensing I needed to talk about something, anything.
“Really?” I asked. “When did you talk to her?”
“On the drive home, you were out,” he murmured. “She’s worried about you but I also got the sense things may not be so great in Dallas.”
I felt my brow crease. “But Tim just got home.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know the details but she seemed eager to come out,” he continued, his brow furrowed in concentration as he pulled the last shard out of my upper arm. “Okay, baby, let’s get you in the shower,” he sighed, seeming as relieved as I was that it was over.
I nodded as he helped me off the counter, undressing me carefully. He undressed as well and guided us under the warm water, pulling me against his broad chest, kissing the top of my head.
He cupped the sides of my head, tilting my face upwards, his fingers running over my split lip. “I swore to you I’d protect you,” his deep voice rasped. “I never thought one of my own brothers would pull this shit.”
“You couldn’t have known.” I shook my head, wanting to assuage his guilt. “I shouldn’t have wandered away by myself,” I added quietly. “I just couldn’t deal with that chick talking about you.” I took a deep shaky breath, my eyes sliding to the side.
His brows knit in confusion. “What?”
“I watched her come up to you at the club,” I began.
“Eyes,” he commanded gruffly, forcing me as he so often did to look at him when I shared something especially difficult.
“She walked away from you talking with her friend about how she’d slept with you. I know I have no right but it was hard to hear,” I admitted quietly. “So I went inside for a few minutes to have some time to pull it together.”
He moved his fingers through my hair, tugging gently in a way that made me want to purr. “I’ve never been a one-woman man,” he began, and I tensed, not liking the sound of that. “Until you.” He swallowed thickly, his hands running over my shoulders and gently down my cut arms. “That won’t be the last time you hear shit like that.” He shook his head. “But I want it to be the only time it bothers you. You’re all I see,” he said gruffly, the emotion in his voice making my heart flutter. “I want you to understand that you’re the only woman who I’ve wanted under my roof. You’re the only woman who’s ever been under my skin. Had I known you were out there raisin’ my kid alone.” He shook his head, his expression pained. “I didn’t think you were ever coming back, Soph.” His voice was like gravel as he forced the words out.
“I know,” I cut him off, not able to bear him continuing.
“Tonight when I couldn’t find you – when I didn’t know what happened to you, I’ve never felt anything like that.” He blew out a breath. “I would have torn up this goddamn Earth to find you, Sophie.”
“I know,” I whispered again as he pulled me back against his chest to hold me.
“Let’s get you to bed,” he coaxed as he reached around me to turn the water off, helping me to step out of the shower.
I bobbed my head in agreement. It was about all I could manage.
I lay on my side, facing him, my hands tucked under my cheek. He clicked off the light and slid into bed, lying on his back, his hand placed over his muscular stomach.
“What are you thinking?” I asked, the darkness giving me confidence I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
Those eyes of his always seemed to slay me.
“I’m thinking that you’re really fucking brave,” his deep voice returned.
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
I heard his head rustle on the pillow as he turned toward me. “You grew up totally sheltered, almost completely controlled by your parents. Yet you have a fight in you that would have long ago died out in a lot of other people. You didn’t accept what was being forced on you. You did what you had to do to protect our son to try to make a life for yourself from nothing. As much as I wish you would have trusted me, as much as I wish I could have been a part of every minute, I’m still so fucking proud. Even tonight, you didn’t accept that shit. You fought to the bitter end. If that’s not the definition of bravery then, darlin’, I don’t know what is.”
That he saw me like that was empowering. It was also beautiful. “Thanks,” I managed, quietly.
“For what?” he asked.
“For seeing me like that, as I really am or how I’d like to be, anyway. And for what sounds like you forgiving me.” I choked out the last part as warm tears slid to the pillow. “But I still don’t get why after all the women…why I’m the one…” I trailed off.