Boom. A shotgun blast shattered the peaceful setting.
Stone flattened me to the ground. He gave an authoritative shout, but I could barely process his words over the intense, screaming agony of falling on my injured arms.
Pain blocked all my other senses, making me dizzy and sick as Stone reverted to his training in order to protect me.
I must have passed out because the next thing I knew, Taggart was there with Morrigan, and they were pulling Stone off me. He fought them until they found a way to ground him in the present moment. After that, his remorse kicked in, and he sat so still and quiet it was as if he’d entered a fugue state.
“Was that a gun?” I gasped in uneven panting breaths. Were they trying to kill those beautiful hawks? “What happened?”
“Someone was flying a drone over the kennels,” Taggart said grimly.
“A camera drone?” I asked because I was all too familiar with those.
He gave a stern nod. “Animal activists sometimes use them to try to get dirt on the sanctuary, but this time I think it was about you. There have been paparazzi camped outside the gates since last night.”
“Already?” I could believe it. The suicide angle was enticing, like chum in the water for media ghouls but this was sooner than I thought they'd find me.
“I lost my temper and blasted the damn drone. I didn’t think about how Stone would react.”
My phone rang, but I couldn’t get it from Stone’s pocket.
“That’s probably Molly,” I said. “Could you get it?”
He got the phone from Stone’s pocket and put it on speaker.
“We’re here,” he said. “It’s me, Taggart. I have Stone and Sebastian with me.”
“Was that a gun?” Molly asked anxiously. “Is Bast okay?”
“I’m fine, Molz.”
“He’s not fine,” said Taggart. “He needs to have his arms checked out. Stone’s not doing so good. I can drive him in.”
“Did you get the hybrids taken care of?” Stone asked suddenly.
“I was doing that when—”
“I’ll finish up there.” Stone seemed shattered. “You and Molly take Sebastian to the ER.”
“Stone, no.” I didn’t want to go without him. “I can wait if you want to—”
“I’m not okay to drive right now.” Stone turned away with painful finality. “Go with Tag and Molly, Sebastian.”
I knew what he was thinking, that he’d hurt me, that he shouldn’t be around me because he hadn’t kept me safe. The self-loathing rolled like a chyron at the bottom of a news story: I am a monster. Monsters don’t belong around people.
It hurt my heart to have to leave him that way. I wanted to put my arms around him and tell him he was a good man, not a monster but an ordinary human who expected too much from himself, but I absolutely had to go to the ER to make certain my fall hadn’t compromised the delicate surgery they’d done to put my arm bones back together.
If I didn’t, and I got an infection or worse, Stone would never forgive himself.
“I’ll be back soon,” I called as he and Morrigan walked away. “You didn't do anything wrong.”
No answer.
Taggart hustled me back the way we'd come. My arms were agony.
After a brief wait at the cabin, Molly and Taggart practically shoved me into Taggart's SUV.
Taggart reached around me to fasten my seatbelt. I wished it had been Stone, who had refused to look at me before he left. Stone, whose skin had reeked of fear. Stone, who was probably practicing some form of self-loathing somewhere all by himself.
He broke my fucking heart.
Molly sat beside me, pale and shaken.
I looked back as we drove away.
Stone had headed toward the hybrid kennels with the look of a man carrying the world on his shoulders.
I wished we could have stayed in the aspen grove forever too.
Much later at the hospital, the sound of a door closing woke me from my drug-assisted doze.
“Mind if I come in?” Stone had changed his clothes since our morning walk. When he leaned in to kiss my cheek, I caught a whiff of the shower gel he used.
“Hi.” I blinked him into focus. “They gave me something for pain when I came in, and it’s working pretty great. What time is it?”
“It’s two.” He swallowed. “I came as soon as I could.”
“I like you,” I blurted. “I’m glad.”
“I’m sorry I—”
“No, no, no.” I wanted to wag my finger, but my arms were too heavy. “You were protecting me like…Who’s that guy? Captain America. Although you know, honestly, I think I like Bucky better.”
“You’re really stoned.”
“Little bit.” I snorted. “I’m waiting for my doctor here and my doctor in California. They’re swapping…consults. Together. That sounds so dirty.”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Sebastian.”
“Nuh-uh. We said—”
“Today, my mind told me something that didn’t match up with reality, and you got hurt. I don’t know if anyone’s ever going to be safe around me, but it kills me, especially, that in trying to protect you, I hurt you worse.”
“We don’t know that.” I reminded him. “The doctors…”
“Are consulting. Yes, I heard you.”
“They’re consulting adults.” I snort-giggled. “Shh…They’re going over my x-rays to see if I have loose screws…” I laughed until tears stung my eyes. “Where’s Tag and Molly? I have to tell them all about that.”
“Taggart took Morrigan back to my place. Molly went to get something to eat.”
“Wait, don’t you need Morrigan? Oh. You stayed with me. Is Molly getting me something too? Why do I feel…itchy?”
“That’ll be the painkillers.”
That sucked. “What good is being…pain free if you’re gonna itch.”
“It’s a tradeoff.”
I looked around. “Where?”
“What?” he asked.
“The tradeoff. Where?”
He kissed my forehead. “Exactly. Why don’t you go back to sleep? I’ll be here.”
I sighed with relief and closed my eyes. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.”
His lips pressed against mine.
Then his freshly shaved cheek rubbed my neck.
I got the strongest, most vivid memory of a scene from my childhood. I don’t know how old I was, only that I’d spent the day wearing a stiff little suit and bow tie, and people kept picking me up and putting me down and telling me not to move.
Mother stood by, laughing with a man holding a camera. Bright lights and shiny silver umbrellas stood like trees with skinny roots above ground.
Then we left and I fell asleep in the car. When I woke up, I was alone, sitting in my car seat in the dark garage and my parents were arguing.
“…completely callous disregard—”
“See?” The overhead light went on. “I told you, he’s absolutely fine. If you wake him now, he’ll only end up crying all night.”