His hands fisted by his sides, struggling to control whatever he felt. With jerky steps, he came toward me.
I stiffened and sucked in a breath as he placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. “Don’t ever apologise to me, O. Ever.” His lips trailed to my mouth, hovering over me in punishment and prayer.
I swayed into him, swept up and unable to fight.
But he closed his eyes and backed up, physically putting space between us while emotional space was that much harder. “I was wrong to ask. Wrong to stay here. Wrong about so many fucking things.”
Shivering, I hugged myself. Whatever fragile moment we’d shared was ending and I had to know. Had to ask. “When you face the courtroom...what are you going to tell them?”
He smiled sadly. “The only thing I can. The only thing I have left.” He strode to the door and wrapped his hand around the handle. “I’m going to tell the truth. I’m sick of lying. I’m done running. I’ll tell the truth and accept the consequences.”
A tear escaped my control as he stepped through the door and went to sit on the couch with his friend and daughter.
Scooping Olive up, he dragged her onto his lap, rocked into her, and pressed a kiss to her hair.
He didn’t say a word.
But all around them echoed goodbye.
Chapter Twenty-Four
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Gil
WHILE O WAS at work, I moved my daughter and meagre belongings into Justin’s place.
I didn’t tell O we were leaving. I didn’t give any hint that we wouldn’t be there when she returned home. Once Olive was settled, I would visit O one last time to explain, to thank her, to apologise, to say...goodbye.
I’d called the cops and asked for yet another address change, gaining permission to travel between the two locations. They gave me twenty-four hours to complete the move before warning I’d be under house arrest again.
Justin took the day off from the office and spent every moment with us. He showed Olive the spare bedroom, which used to be sterile and bland but now held purple curtains, lacy pink pillows, and a massive artwork of a field filled with wildflowers on the wall.
I’d caught his eye as Olive shot to the bed, the white desk, and the cute little dresser he’d arranged.
Fuck, I owed this man a lot.
Bumping into him on the street after so many years had been one of the best things to happen to me. He hadn’t been a curious sod—only there while times had been normal. He hadn’t bailed when I finally accepted his help and kept requesting more.
He’d proven himself to be loyal and generous, and I would be grateful for the rest of my godforsaken life.
After Olive explored her new space, still suspicious about why she got a room and I got the couch, I whispered into her ear to hug Justin. To push them together and create that trusting bond so I could be locked away next week and not worry that Olive would have a breakdown, that Justin could handle her, and that there was no chance of this falling apart.
No one knew how long I’d be in jail for.
A year, a decade, forever?
Justin was taking on so fucking much without asking for anything in return.
There is something you can give him.
The thought appeared and ran away, as if too scared to stick around and find out how I truly felt about offering him something that meant more to me than my own life.
But as Olive tentatively shuffled to Justin and hugged him at my request, I balled my hands and made a promise.
Once I knew my punishment.
Once Olive was no longer mine to care for.
I would tell him what I was willing to sacrifice for all his support.
* * * * *
“You sure you got this?” I muttered as Justin grabbed a beer from the fridge and I stacked the dishwasher from the plates we’d used with Thai takeout.
“I’m sure.” He twisted off the cap and tossed it into the bin. “If Olive and I can’t hang out on our own for a few hours, then I don’t see how living together is going to work out. You need to do this, and we need time alone to figure out the ground rules.” He patted me on the shoulder, leaving the kitchen and returning to the living room where his black couches faced the TV and Olive sat snuggled in one watching Disney’s Mulan.
Drying my hands on a dishtowel, I followed and kept my distance while he collapsed next to her and tapped his beer bottle to her glass of apple juice. “What are we watching, tiny pipsqueak?”
She grinned. “I’m not a pipsqueak.”
Justin smirked. “See, to me, you’re smaller than a pipsqueak. You look like a mouse. An itty-bitty, teensy-weensy mouse. So pipsqueak fits you well.”
“Well, you’re just a...a...you’re a hippopotamus.”
“You calling me fat?” Justin scowled dramatically. “Is it because I had two beef curries?”
“Yep!” Olive giggled, sipping her juice as her attention fell back on the TV.
Justin gave me a wink. “All good, mate. I got this.”
Nodding, I made my way to the exit. “Olive? I’m heading out for a few hours. Justin will keep you company.”
I didn’t ask if she was okay with that.
I didn’t make her doubt her comfort level.
She didn’t really have a choice in the matter anymore.
She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Will you be back in time to say goodnight?”
I braced myself. “Probably not. But Justin can help, and I’ll be back later. I’ll definitely see you in the morning, though, okay?” Unable to leave without touching her, I strode over and bent to kiss her forehead. Keeping my lips on her sweet-smelling skin, I murmured, “You’re safe with him, little spinach. Jeffrey is gone. You were right that he was bad, but Justin isn’t. I need you to be okay with having him as your friend, all right?”
She gave a side-eye to Justin before nodding slowly. “I like him as a friend. We can hang out.”
“Great. Good girl.”
“But I miss O. Can we go back to see her tomorrow?”
“Maybe.” Backing away, I imprinted the image of my friend watching cartoons with my daughter then turned around and walked out the door. I’d keep that image safe. I’d pull it up when I got sentenced and I was alone in some goddamn cell, missing Olive with every fucking fibre of my being.
Not for the first time, the urge to pick up my daughter and run hijacked my nervous system.
I wanted to fly away and hide on some secluded island where I would never have to be torn away from her again.
But that was selfish.
That would backfire on Olive as she got older.
I meant what I told O.
I was done running.
I’d been running since Tallup blackmailed me into sleeping with her—always wondering when I’d be arrested for sexual assault.
Well, I wouldn’t have to wonder anymore.
Consequences were almost here.
I’d done what I could to protect Olive from the worst of it.
But tonight...tonight I was going to be selfish. So fucking selfish.
Tonight was for me.
My last shred of happiness.
Tonight...O was mine.
Chapter Twenty-Five
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