I should remember what he did to me the last time I was here.
I should scream and tell him to stop.
I couldn’t stop.
I couldn’t stop what I’d fantasised about for so long. Even if it was the biggest mistake of my life.
His hands climbed my body—heavy and dangerous. His touch was not gentle or kind as he thumbed my nipples and captured my jaw in both hands.
Pulling away, he blinked with vodka-hazy eyes. “Tell me to stop.”
I licked my lips, begging for common sense to answer him, but only lust replied. “I can’t.”
He squeezed his eyes together, his face a tortured mask. “You should.”
I nodded in his imprisonment. “I should.”
“But...you won’t.” His eyes met mine again, misery and heartbreak mixing in the frosty green.
“No.” I struggled in his hold, arching my chin up, giving him every permission to kiss me.
My pulse pounded in my ears, matching the drumming of his in his neck. We stood there, snapping in chemistry and drowning in need, both of us desperate but so afraid.
There were things we should say. Rules we should discuss. Futures we should protect.
But with alcohol stealing his power and desire stealing mine, we were both ruined.
“Fuck,” he groaned. His mouth descended on mine. Swift and sudden, sharp and sinful.
My eyes snapped shut as our lips bruised each other, our bodies breakable things beneath the hunger quickly consuming us. We’d played a dangerous game when we were younger. We’d denied ourselves. We’d fallen in love and let life steal us apart without ever indulging.
We were about to pay the price of that war.
Gil wrapped a fist in my hair, yanking my head back, bending me into pain as he kissed me deep. His tongue broke my lips apart, plunging into my mouth, possessing me.
I couldn’t get free.
My only option was to open wide and let his tongue own mine. The kiss was explosive, like drinking pure dynamite. Our tongues were matches, striking fire, blistering every neuron.
He thrust against me, pressing my back into the bench.
I squirmed as my fingers clawed at his nape, holding on and sinking deep at the same time.
Every lash of his tongue licked into my belly. My flesh swelled. My blood heated. Every part of me grew heavy and demanding.
He crawled into me, almost breaking me in two as he held the back of my neck and kissed me so hard I struggled to breathe.
I didn’t need oxygen.
I kissed him back. Violence for violence. My body spinning itself into an aching mess, shivering and sick with the unbearable need to have him inside me.
Our passion was lightning quick.
A bolt of energy that turned us into animals.
Tearing me from the kitchen bench, Gil stumbled toward the couch with me in his arms. He swayed to the side, dropping me to my feet. We didn’t make it to the furniture.
We wrapped ourselves around each other, balancing in our drunken, lust-drenched world. Our lips found each other in another manic kiss that made my eyes roll and core clench.
I’d never had such a crazy connection with another.
Never wanted to hurt someone as much as I wanted to love them.
His fingers scratched my nape as he held me tight and kissed me deep.
Kissed me and kissed me.
Kissed me as if making up for all the times he hadn’t kissed me in the past.
My lips burned. My tongue ached. And my body was jealous.
It wanted him everywhere, not just on my mouth.
Gil dropped to his knees.
For a second, I couldn’t figure out what happened. My lips smarted and turned cold. But then a loud moan fell from them as he fumbled at the zipper on my skirt, ripping it down to my feet.
Cool air licked around my garter belt and stockings. After I’d showered, I’d put on fresh office clothes. I stupidly didn’t want him knowing I’d been home, when I should’ve come here straight from work.
Perhaps, if I’d come here straight away, he wouldn’t be drunk.
Maybe, if I hadn’t delayed, I could’ve saved him whatever new pain he suffered.
I’d failed him.
Gil sat back on his heels, his eyes hot and black with undiluted lust. “You’re killing me, O.” His hand trembled as he ran a finger right over my lingerie-clad pussy. “Killing me.”
My legs buckled.
He caught me, dragging me to the floor, pressing me onto my back as I kicked my skirt from my ankles.
He didn’t ask for permission as he shot down my body and knelt between my spread legs. His jaw clenched as he pulled my knickers down and tossed them over his shoulder.
My cheeks blazed as his gaze fixated on my bareness. The part of me he’d never seen, never touched, never tasted.
And I had no shame as I spread my legs even wider, arching my back, begging him to finish what he started.
His eyebrows knitted together. He swallowed hard and shook his head as if trying to convince himself this wasn’t a dream. This was real. So, so real.
Without a word, he bowed over me and latched his mouth onto my heated pussy.
I lost myself.
My head dug into the floor as I writhed under his tongue.
There was nothing slow or tentative about him.
Gil licked me as if he’d wake up any second. He spread my folds and plunged his tongue inside me as if he’d owned that part of me his entire life.
Every nerve ending combusted. Every cell shot down my body and gathered on my clit. And when Gil’s teeth found me, biting the nub with a thinly veiled punishment, no other part of me existed.
“Oh, God!” I squirmed as he buried his nose into me. Licking and nipping, a feral noise of ownership rumbled in the back of his throat.
His fingers clawed their way up my inner thigh, finding my heat, then driving one deep inside me.
I bowed off the floor.
His free hand landed on my belly, pressing me down as his tongue swirled and his finger hooked with pleasure. A groan clawed through his chest as he bit my clit, inhaling and sucking.
He didn’t give me time to adjust or accept.
He merely took.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” His voice was thick and rich, velvet and sandpaper.
I broke out in goosebumps as his one finger became two. Both drove into me as far as they could go. His hand on my belly moved to dig under my ass, hoisting me up, pulling my pussy harder against his mouth. His tongue battled to enter me all while his fingers thrust with a possession that made everything else inconsequential.
My body responded. How could it not? My stomach twisted, heart raced, and my core invited Gil’s invasion with droplets of silky desire.
I didn’t care he was paint and dirt covered.
I didn’t care this was a terrible, terrible idea.
All I cared about was this.
“So many times,” Gil groaned as he licked at my moisture. His fingers kept stroking, sending shockwaves through every limb. “So many fucking times I wanted you.”
I panted as the mixture of me and his saliva tickled the insides of my thighs.
I couldn’t reply, too caught up in his assault.
“Olin...” Another finger joined his two, stretching me, plunging deep.
I cried in bliss as he rocked his hand, his teeth punishing my clit. My heart bucked in a frenzy; the ground didn’t feel solid anymore. All I wanted to do was fall into him, onto him.