I dared scrape my teeth along sensitive flesh, testing him.
He thrust into me, rocking my body back. Tears flooded my eyes as his savage grunt made my insides clench on emptiness.
Sucking him made me feel powerful. But I needed him inside me. Otherwise, I was going to lose my mind and never be able to function again.
Pressing my legs together, I bobbed my head as my heated flesh made me moan. My jaw ached at his size, saliva trickling from the corner of my mouth as I continued to worship him.
“Fuck—” He thrust harder as desperation to come bunched his thighs, and the salty taste of release grew stronger. He tugged my hair, his eyes tightly closed as his cock rippled in warning.
I wanted to make him unravel. To come apart so I might have some chance at understanding him. I threw myself into pleasuring him, sucking him deeper still. Keeping my lips glued tight, I stroked, massaging my spit into his heat.
Gil gasped, stumbling back as his ass clenched under my free hand. “Stop. Shit.” He grabbed his cock, pressing his thumb into the tip as if doing his best to prevent an orgasm.
His eyes squeezed tight as his body shuddered. He bowed over himself, panting and tense.
I waited.
I fought against the urge to stroke myself and relieve the throbbing second release. I did my best not to be consumed by the very image of Gil naked with his cock in his hand.
Time ticked strangely, my heartbeats tattered as Gil slowly straightened and towered over me. His face was furious, eyes blazing, his cock spearing upright from his gorgeously damaged body.
I wanted to capture the moment. To remember it for always.
Because who knew if I’d ever see him this way again.
My hand migrated between my legs on its own accord. I moaned as I touched myself, teasing the pounding need for more.
Gil’s attention snapped onto my display. His forehead furrowed as his chest rose and fell. “Christ, you truly want me to die.”
I licked my lips. “I need you.”
Our eyes locked and the viciousness of sex was replaced by the tenderness of love. He tensed. His head shook. He looked as if he’d rather rip out his heart than touch me in anger.
But then the clouds gathered again, shoving him into blackness—a place of protection from his pain.
Whatever this was, it wasn’t making love.
This was darker.
Gil swallowed back tender things, and pounced on me. “Get on all fours.” Slamming to his knees, he threw me around until I braced myself on four points. He deliberately faced me away so he didn’t have to see how much I cared. Didn’t have to fight the never-ending bond we shared.
I understood.
I accepted.
I wanted.
His hands caressed my spine and ass, massaging me, spreading me. His touch slid to my tattoo and scars. “This goddamn ink. These awful scars.” His heady groan made me shiver as he dragged his nose along the base of my back. “To think of you hurt—” His teeth snapped together, silencing whatever else he wanted to say.
His fingers kept stroking my tattoo, running along owl feathers and ostrich plumes. His touch wasn’t gentle, more like a fiery brand flaying me alive. “You’re not safe with me,” he hissed. “I’m putting you in danger.”
My teeth bared in frustration, leaning back into his control. “I don’t care.”
“I care.”
“Just finish this, Gil.” A full body clench made me beg. “Please.”
“Tell me to stop.” His breath scalded my back as he reared up behind me. “Please, God, tell me to stop.” His thighs met mine. His heat burned me. His cock wedged against my ass as he grabbed my hips and ran his length up my crack. “Tell me. Fuck, tell me.”
My head hung between my shoulders. I dug fingers into the floor, rocking backward into him. “I won’t.”
“I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m on the pill.”
He cursed under his breath. “I haven’t been with anyone in...a long time.”
My heart squeezed. “Neither have I.”
“I...I won’t put you at risk.” His teeth chewed the words as if conversation was getting harder and harder to manage.
“Me either.” I rocked again, gasping at the temptation of having him so close to taking me.
“You’ll regret this in the morning.” He groaned, pulling away and lining his cock up with my entrance. “I tried to warn you. Too bad you didn’t fucking listen.”
He thrust.
He entered me.
He split me in two, condemned me, consumed me, sank deep, deep inside me.
My arms buckled at the overwhelming euphoria of having Gilbert Clark—the boy who I’d dreamed about, cried over, wanted, and needed—finally fill me like he was born to do.
The world spun on its axis, blending colours, bleeding futures, hurling us together.
Gil snarled as he withdrew and thrust again. “Why do you have to feel so good?” He drove himself as deep as he could go. His voice traded human for monster. “Why the fuck did you have to come back into my life?”
My tongue was too tangled and useless for words. I was nothing more than sin and sensation, riding him, tempting him, encouraging him to ignore boundaries and tear me apart.
I needed him to fuck me.
Truly, aggressively fuck me.
Gil pulled back, then shoved into me so hard, I scooted forward. The sweet bliss of being entered, expanded, and owned sent another depth to the orgasm building in my core.
“I can’t believe I’m inside you,” Gil grunted. Driving into me, he set a punishing pace. He eradicated all space between us, his thighs rigid and slapping against mine with every impale. “Can’t believe you’re here. With me.”
My pulse shot skyward as I arched my back, giving him unfettered access.
“Fuck, don’t.” He bowed over me, biting my shoulder as he drove every inch inside me. The broken despair in his voice knotted with breathless wonderment. As if he’d spent his life, just as I had, trying to understand the compulsive connection between us.
It’d gone past teenage crush. It’d grown even while apart.
No words could describe our strange bond. No common sense could understand why I felt the way I did about him but wanted him to use me so completely.
Gil’s fingers dipped between my legs.
I teetered on my knees as he rubbed my wetness around my clit.
“Holy mother of—” I moaned as his touch sent more pressure gathering inside, suffocating me, hurting me to let go.
I soared my ass back, driving him so deep his tip hit the top of me, and we both groaned like animals.
I didn’t recognise myself.
I didn’t recognise him.
All I knew was I had to come. Again. Now. Immediately.
Gil grabbed my hips, hauling me higher so he could thrust at a different angle. Each drive, he hit me in the most perfect, piercing way.
I jolted, unable to bear it. “Gil. God—”
“Don’t move.” He pulled me back each time he dived forward. No space. No gentleness. “I’m going to fuck you, do you understand?”
My eyes rolled at the dripping darkness in his tone.
Didn’t he realise he was already doing that?
“I’m going to fuck you and then you’re walking out that door and never coming back.” The lace of alcohol in his tone didn’t slur but added a cruelty that only sent more fire into my already bleeding need.