“I will be here if you need anythin’.”
Once again, I nodded. He gave me a hug. Asa Calhoun had never given me a hug. Although I had always wanted one from him. I never once thought it would be because of a tragedy. Right now, I was indifferent to everything. The pain festering inside of me was too great. To think I could have ever felt happiness before this agonizing ache seemed absurd.
The Calhouns moved to the sitting room. My family stood there for several moments, and once we were certain no one else was coming, we adjourned to the sitting room.
My feet remained rooted in place. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t see my parents and Julian.
Suddenly, my breaths came in small gasps. Black spots began to fill my vision. I placed my hands on my knees as my body began to shake. Dimly, I heard Mamie say my name but I couldn’t answer. My mouth felt dry and my tongue was swollen.
“What’s wrong?” Étienne asked, suddenly beside me.
I lifted my head, saw most of my family and Asa looking at me with concern.
“It all hurts. I cannot breathe properly,” I said between breaths.
“Oh dear,” Mamie murmured.
“Should we take her upstairs?” I heard Aunt Christine ask.
“She cannot breathe,” Asa calmly stated. “She needs space.”
Amid my panic, I nodded and clutched Asa’s arm for balance. He seemed to be the only one that understood me. I couldn’t breathe. That was all. And it hurt so badly.
Asa patted my back. “Let’s go to the library. You don’t have to go into the sittin’ room.”
I felt my heartbeat in my ears as we walked across the foyer, and my family’s voices of concern. Tremors continued to rock through me, and they only subsided once Asa shut the library doors.
I sat down on one of the seats near the windows, and nearly sighed with relief from no longer having to stand. Asa didn’t say a word. He let me sit there as my breaths evened out.
Once the black spots had cleared from my vision and the tremors had stopped, I looked around and inhaled a deep breath.
“The sky is cryin’ right now,” Asa remarked.
I looked toward one of the windows and saw the clear blue sky. “But it’s not rainin’,” I pointed out.
“No, but it should be.”
I nodded in agreement. Out of everything that had been said to me. That made the most sense. We stood there in silence. For once, I was comfortable with saying nothing. For once, there was nothing on my mind.
“When I was terribly sad or overwhelmed as a young boy,” Asa started off slowly, “I would find a quiet, dark place to hide. It became an escape for me.”
I soaked in his words with wide eyes. “And that helped?”
“As best as it could. I could face what problems had come my way.”
I nodded, grateful for the advice. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me.” He looked down at me and gave me a rare Asa smile. If my heart was its regular beating self, it would have soared out of my chest. He glanced around the library, at the vast collection of books. “We can stay in here if you want. But if you want, I will go with you to the sittin’ room.”
At the mere mention of the sitting room, my eyes widened. Asa quickly spoke up, “Nat, I know you’re scared and I know you’re in pain. But I don’t want you to regret not sayin’ good-bye to your family.” He looked away and rocked back on his feet. “I will be there the entire time. You will not be alone.”
As broken as I felt, I knew there was truth to his words. I had to say good bye. I never dreamed it would be this hard.
I carefully looked at him. “You promise not to leave?”
“I promise.”
I took a deep breath before I nodded. “I’ll go with you.”
Asa held his hand out. I stood and curled my small hand in his. He looked down at me and nodded back. “I won’t leave you, all right? I will be with you the entire time.”
CHAPTER TEN
Nathalie
“Hello. My name is Nathalie Claiborne, and I would like a job. No, no, no. That sounds all wrong.” I take a deep breath and turn on my heels. The sun beats down on me as I pace the sidewalk. “Hello, I’m Mrs. Claiborne and I would like to inquire about a job prospect.”
“Personally, I liked the second introduction you gave fifteen minutes ago. ‘I’m Nat and I want a job.’”
I stop and tilt my head to look at her. Just as Serene promised, she met me at the Lacroix House early this morning. She’s sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, with her elbows propped on her knees and her chin resting on her palms.
“I didn’t say that introduction.”
Serene wrinkles her nose. “You didn’t? I could’ve sworn you did.”
“You’re supposed to support me.”
“I am supporting you. I’m supporting you while you work up the nerve to go inside. Which, by the way, he will say yes.”
I think he will, but I’m not certain. I just tried to break up his wedding, and during Alex’s birthday, it was noticeably clear we could hardly be in the same room as one another. I give the building to my left a long look. It is newly built, maybe here for only a year, at most. But it blends well with its historic surroundings. Belt-coursing punctuates the second story windows. There are Doric columns, adding a clean design to the portico above the entry. On the front doors is the Bell logo. Written inside the bell are the words, LOCAL AND LONG-DISTANCE TELEPHONE and wrapped around it is, AMERICAN TELEPHONE & TELEGRAPH CO. AND ASSOICATED COMPANIES.
When I first arrived, the three-story structure with gray stucco was hardly imposing, but up close, it’s the source of all my fears as well as my dreams. I am terrified of failing. It’s far easier to walk away than to never try at all. “Maybe this is a bad idea,” I say as I begin to step away from the building.
Serene jumps in my way and holds her hands out in front of her. “Hey, hey, hey. You’re not going anywhere.”
“What if I’m not good enough?”
“Don’t you dare say that. The greatest act of rebellion a woman can make is knowing her worth.”
Exhaling a shaky breath, I nod and look into Serene’s eyes.
“This is the best idea that you’ve had since you walked into that church and shouted ‘Wait!’” Her hands land on my arms, holding me in place. “So, you’re going to go in there, and you’re going to demand a job and if you don’t get a job, you’re going to burn the place down,” Serene states vehemently, nearly shaking me in the process.
I veer back.
Serene blinks rapidly and holds a hand up. “Whoa. The moment went straight to my head. Do not burn the place down.”
“I wasn’t goin’ to.”
Serene nods. “Good, good. But you’re going to get a job. Right?”
Taking a deep breath, I nod. “Right.”
“Then let’s go inside, shall we?”
My sister-in-law gestures toward the steps, leading to the double doors. I take a deep breath and gather what little courage I have. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN