He looms over me, so tall I have to tilt my head back to get a clear look at his face.
“I never left you, damnit!” he shouts.
“Then what do you call the past five years?” I shout back. I don’t try to hide the pain laced in my words. As badly as it hurts to ask that question, it feels freeing to speak it because it’s one I’ve thought to myself for quite some time.
“Payin’ for my mistakes!” Asa blurts. His eyes close and his body sags forward as though the confession tore at a deep part of him.
When he lifts his head, all I see are his eyes. Those brown eyes lined with thick lashes. They reflect that the truth is just as surprising to him as it to me.
“I never wanted to leave you, Nathalie,” he admits in a quieter voice. “Ever.”
I continue to watch those damn eyes of his and I feel my resolve breaking. I still have so much hurt inside. Hurt that I don’t want to live inside me any longer. I look away from his eyes at the ground. “No, that’s not true.”
Asa pulls back. “Yes, it is.”
“There were so many times we could’ve been together. I made a wretched fool of myself at your weddin’ and still nothin’ from you!” I push at his chest.
“I started to walk toward you, but Étienne ushered you away!”
Many truths are letting themselves known, but we are getting far too close to what I don’t want to acknowledge, and to what hurts the most.
I take a deep breath and try to control my pain and anger, but it doesn’t help. “I don’t want to be around you,” I lie.
A short burst of laughter escapes him. He takes a step toward me. “You are a Lacroix. If you really wanted to, you would find a way to get me out of here.”
“It’s true. I don’t want you here because I hate you.”
The moment I say the words I know they are a lie. And foolish. So foolish. I just want him to hurt like me.
“Careful,” Asa says, his voice dangerously soft. “Don’t say anythin’ you will regret.”
As he observes me, I stay very still. My heart thunders in my ears as he eyes languidly travel across my face.
“Nathalie,” he murmurs. He always speaks my name like it’s a treasure. He covets each letter and syllable as though he’ll never speak a name quite as beautiful.
Even now. After I made a dreadful ass of myself and spoke words I didn’t mean.
“It’s true. I don’t regret anythin’. I want you to go.” I swallow down my passion and fury. “So go,” I demand. “Leave right-”
Asa slams his mouth against mine, stealing the lies from my lips. I breathe deeply through my nose and close my eyes. The kiss becomes open-mouthed and demanding, filled with violent lust. My legs find their way around his waist. Asa keeps one hand beneath my bottom, and the other curves around my head, holding me to him.
I taste his anticipation and desire. My tongue curls around his in a seductive rhythm that he expertly taught me. The action draws out a ragged groan from him. As our mouths remain connected, our hands frantically claw at the other’s clothing.
Dimly, I’m aware of Asa moving us away from the door, but I’m too distracted by his shirt and the dreadful number of buttons to care.
It’s when Asa stops that I open one eye and see we’re on the other side of the room, with the settee behind me. I unwrap my legs from around his waist and slide down his body. Our lips part, the same time I move against the long length of him.
Asa sucks in sharp breath and holds onto my waist to keep me in place. I turn him around, so he’s facing the settee. Asa stares at me with confusion, and with a half-smirk, I push at his shoulders. He willingly falls back onto the settee. I gather my dress in my hands, exposing my garters and stockings. Asa watches my every moment as though his life depends on it.
With ease, I straddle him, as though this is a daily occurrence. My body settles against his so perfectly, that when I brush against his cock, I rock against him. Asa swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“You’re goin’ to punish me, aren’t you?” Asa demands.
As I push his suspenders down his arms, I pause and look down at him. “Oh, I would never do that.”
Asa nearly growls, and my stomach clenches in apprehension. Asa tugs so violently on the sleeve of my dress that it tears. He stares at the exposed skin like a hungry animal.
I love this ravenous, predatory side of him. Asa is always so contained and composed but this side reveals the animalistic part that lives deep within him.
The ripped sleeve of my dress slides down my arm and exposes the upper part of my chest. Asa hooks his finger in the middle of the dress and pulls down, exposing my breasts. The cool air against my nipples makes me suck in a sharp breath. Not for long, though, because Asa’s hands are on me, cupping my breasts, pushing them together, before his thumbs brush against my nipples. I squirm against him as my heart frantically beats against my chest.
He continues his ministrations before he leans in and sucks a nipple into his mouth. A breathy sigh escapes me as I wrap my arms around his shoulders. His tongue flicks against the tip just to tease and torture me.
He switches to the other breast, repeating the process. I watch his bent head. The dark glossy strands of his hair brushing against my skin.
Unable to take any more, I pull back and kiss him hard on the mouth. Reasoning never leads to love. Neither does half-felt feelings. What I feel is a glorious crash of confusion and desperation completely experienced that it brings me to my most basic self.
Asa pulls back from the kiss and starts to unbutton his pants. He lifts his hips and I help him pull them down the rest of the way. Completely exposed to me, I see how hard he is, and gently take him between my hands. Even so, that small touch spurs Asa to close his eyes and suck in a sharp breath.
My hand wraps around the base of him and moves slowly upward. He’s smooth and hot and my hand immediately remembers the size of him. When I reach the tip, my finger brushes across the head, causing Asa’s hips to jerk upward.
I smirk, but Asa stares at me between eyes barely open. “Don’t smirk. You forget I know where to touch you.”
Before I can reply, one of his hands tightly holds my waist and the other moves beneath my gown. His large hand glides up my thigh, briefly touching my garter before he moves between my legs.
Asa doesn’t hesitate. He knows precisely where to go. As he moves past the barrier of my undergarments, I suck in a sharp breath.
His finger brushes against my entrance. My hands tighten on his shoulders.
He lifts a dark brow. “Already wet,” he whispers gruffly.
Then, very slowly, he slides a finger into me. Immediately I tighten around him, desperate for more.
“God, Nat,” Asa groans.
His finger moves in and out, and a whimper escapes my mouth, betraying me.
Asa stops his ministrations and withdrawals his hand. This time, he’s the one that smirks. “Somethin’ wrong?” he asks innocently.
I want to scream with frustration. I do the next best thing and kiss him. He’s waiting and ready. His mouth slants over mine. It’s a collision of passion and left-over tension from the start of this night.
Our hands find their way back to each other. We touch one another everywhere. Both of us have one collective thought and it’s this: selfish greed.