I closed my eyes and let out a curse. “It’s a very long story that means nothing. But I’m great. Hi.” I went to my tiptoes, kissed him softly, and took the coffee from him that had an E on it.
I took a sip and groaned. “It’s perfect.”
“Nonfat sugar-free caramel latte with actual caramel on top to negate the sugar-free.”
I cringed. “I like caramel. But I try to be good. It’s just like asking for a double burger with extra cheese, extra-large fries, and a diet Coke. But it makes sense in my head.”
“I don’t mind. I go full-on sugar. Although Pacey reminded me that I’m not going to be young forever and that I should probably start watching my figure now or will end up with a beer belly before I’m thirty.”
“Do you even drink a lot of beer?”
“My family owns a brewery, and I’m probably going to be working at it or something like it for the rest of my life. It could happen.”
I tilted my head. “I’ve met your brothers. Well, at least two of them. They didn’t have beer bellies.”
“It is my hope that I at least have Aiden’s and Cameron’s genes.”
I frowned. “But not Brendon’s?”
A look crossed Dillon’s eyes, and I frowned harder, pulling him farther into the living room. “What did I say? I’m sorry. Is there something I’m supposed to know? I forgot.”
He let out a breath, his gaze going dark for a moment. “No, it’s just…I wanted to talk to someone, and then I realized later that I didn’t know who I was supposed to talk to. And now I don’t know. Let’s just talk about your test.”
“No, let’s not.” I pulled him past the kitchen, the living room, the closed doors of everyone else’s rooms, and into my bedroom. I locked the door behind us, aware that even though my friends wouldn’t come in if they were all leaning against the door trying to listen in, they could end up opening it by accident. I had to trust that they wouldn’t do that, but tonight was a weird night.”
“Talk to me.”
“I don’t know. It might be too much. I don’t want to put all of this into your head or add to your burdens.”
I set my coffee down and pulled him onto the bed with me. We sat cross-legged facing each other, and I just stared at him. “I think we’re doing this whole one-night-stand thing completely terribly.”
He smiled softly. “I don’t think you can count it as one anymore.”
“True. And while I’m not great at labels because they scare me, I think it’s okay if we talk to each other about what’s on our minds. I would like that. I don’t know if I’m good at the whole just-casual-sex thing.”
Dillon shook his head. “I’m not either.”
Relief flooded me. “Oh, thank God.”
His lips quirked into another smile. “Yeah, same. I think I tried it once and ended up feeling like shit afterward.”
“With Mandy?” I asked softly, not knowing if I wanted the answer.
“Yeah, though I thought we were something more. She only saw me how she wanted to. And I didn’t like it.”
“That’s not nice.”
“No, we had our roles laid out before us, and I didn’t fall into line. But I don’t want to talk about her.”
“Then talk to me about what’s on your mind. For real.”
“Shit. Okay, so about the whole genes thing… Brendon isn’t actually my brother.”
I blinked. “What?
“It’s a long story.”
“If you’re up to telling it, I’d like to hear it.”
He met my gaze, then looked down at his hands. I slid mine into his open palm, and he squeezed it, but I didn’t do anything else. Didn’t say anything else. I just let him think.
“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. My mother liked drugs, selling herself for drugs, and was the worst possible mother ever.” He didn’t look at me, but I still froze, my hand on his. “Don’t say anything until I’m done, okay?”
He looked up at me then, and I nodded. “Of course. I don’t know what there is to say to that anyway.”
“Nothing, really. Mom was a terrible mother. She was worse, I think, when Aiden and Cameron were born. They’re twins but have a different father. Mom ended up getting in trouble with something or other and lost Aiden and Cameron to the system. They bounced around for a bit and finally ended up with Jack and Rose Connolly here in Denver. Brendon was in the system as well, and the Connollys started with a foster program with all three. When they were able, they adopted them all formally.”
“Wow,” I whispered.
I nodded, swallowing hard. “Aiden and Cameron were even split up for a bit when they were younger, but Rose and Jack did their best to get them back together. And it worked out in the end. Except for, somewhere along that path, my mom decided to get pregnant again. This time with a different dude, another lowlife. And she had me.”
I met his gaze, and he shrugged. There was such sadness in his eyes, with a little bit of anger mixed in.
“She wasn’t the worst mom at first. She tried. I got cereal—the off-brand stuff, but that was what we could afford, and that was fine. We didn’t have lunch or dinner on most days. I ended up getting myself to school when I could, at least at first. Mostly because the elementary school was a block away. But then she found a new dealer, and he ended up becoming her pimp.” He cringed at that. “It was easier for her to keep the lights on if she had a job. And that was the job she liked. And while I have a whole idea in my head, I can’t judge sex workers for the jobs they do. Though I can’t help but judge my mom. Because she was only doing what she did because she wanted drugs. And she wanted to keep the lights on in the house. For her. I was barely a thought.”
He let out a breath. “I was eleven years old when she asked for help. She couldn’t do anything anymore, and Cameron came out.”
My eyes widened. “Cameron?”
“We were out west by then. Cameron was twenty-one. He ended up raising me out there. Aiden and Brendon didn’t come, but that’s not my story to tell, you know?”
I nodded.
“When I turned eighteen, it was just Cameron and me. Mom was long gone. Dad never contacted me. I had no idea who he was, other than a name on a birth certificate and the fact that he was my sperm donor. But when I turned eighteen, I made a couple of mistakes. Didn’t apply for college and lied about it.” He groaned.
“What?” I asked finally, confused since that didn’t sound like the boy I knew now, the one sitting right in front of me.
“Yeah, I thought I’d be in a rock band. I play guitar,” he added, shaking his head. “And drums. Not that great, though. The guys in my band all promised that we’d stay in LA and make something of ourselves. Their parents weren’t working two jobs, and didn’t own a bar, and weren’t working themselves to death like Cameron was. And their kids didn’t lie to them.” Dillon groaned. “I told Cameron point-blank that I had applied to college. When he found out that I hadn’t, that my dreams of making it big in a band were in place, he just looked at me like he didn’t even know me. I was an idiot. I still have no idea why I even followed that path. It’s not like I actually see myself as that person.”