My foot kicks a pebble when I finally make it over to her. She looks up, keeping eye contact even while tears roll down her cheeks. “You’re injured.”
I nod, my face staying solemn. “I’ll live. Are you hurt?”
She shakes her head and bites her lip. Silence hangs in the air. “Thanks for coming after me. I was scared it looked like I planned it.”
“Did you?” I ask, feeling like the world’s biggest dick once I do. Her shoulders hunch forward.
“No,” she answers, “I wouldn’t do that. I’m finally free of this life. I want to be a mom that Selene remembers as good.”
My throat tightens with pent-up emotion. My thoughts are scattered all over the place. My chest tightens. I’m so close to bursting and yet fear is holding me back. I don’t’ know what to do. I need to get out of here and away from her, from Jay, everyone. I can’t think. My compass is not leading me where I thought it should and it scares the fuck out of me. I need time.
“Let the EMT take care of you,” I tell her, my voice like gravel to my ears. “They’ll take you back to our facility until your court date.”
Scarlet’s eyes flicker, and the light dims. Her face crumples, and she lowers her head. She nods in response while suppressing a sob. I have to force myself to walk away. I can feel Jay’s eyes on my retreating back, but I don’t stop. I need to get out of here.
Scarlet
Six to ten years. I wanted to laugh when that was what the DA told me I would be given in exchange for my testimony along with names and locations of my associates. Six years to get to this point and another six to ten until, maybe, I’d see outside a jail cell again. Selene will be a teenager when I’m out and will probably hate me as much she’ll be hating the world. I sigh, sitting back in my chair, thinking over the offer. In the long run, even ten is better than the twenty-five to life Trent was always taunting me with.
Trent. My heart hurts just thinking about him. I haven’t seen him since the night in the desert. The night he finally made me realize there was never any going back for us. All the damage I created would forever be too much. Too much to forgive and too much to move on from. I can’t blame him. I was selfish back then not to trust him, or even to tell him about Selene and my fears. I also can’t say I would completely do things differently. Until you’ve lived with the devil and you’ve experienced hell, you can’t say you would have been fine to walk away. I would have been dead six years ago if I tried to leave then and if my father had found out about Selene. There is no way around that.
When we got back to Vegas, Jay moved me to a private facility while they go through their process. Reports, evidence, interviews, everything needed before court. Jay pulled me aside and let me know he contacted a woman named Stephanie Troyer, and she would be handling my case. Jay was taking Trent off the decision-making, which was at first painful to hear, but now I think it’s for the best. Six to ten is a number that is deserving for the things I’ve done, whereas Jay feared Trent was too emotional and too close. I don’t want Trent to have to go through any of this with me either. He deserves to move on, and finally have his revenge on the man responsible for his friend’s death. He needs to take the time to get to know Selene, so he can see how amazing she is for himself. Besides Evita, there is no one I trust more than Trent to care for our daughter, even if he does hate me.
My nights turn into days and my days, nights, until I lose track of time completely. Three weeks pass and I know court is looming closer, and Stephanie is starting to prepare me. I’m being held without option for bail, due to my crimes and various passports.
Jay has promised I’ll see Selene before I leave. I cry every time I think of her and everything I’ll miss out on. It’s all worth it, but it hurts. Trent hasn’t been back since we arrived in Vegas and I haven’t asked to see him or talk to him. I wrote a letter asking him to please remind Selene that I was a good person once, and that even though we’re apart, I love her. I gave the letter to Stephanie who has sworn she will wait until after my sentencing to make sure he gets it. I hate this. I hate the waiting.
“You look like shit, Reyes,” Jay drawls outside my cell, and I lift my head to look at him.
“Don’t you have a girlfriend or something you can go bother?” I quirk a brow.
Jay smiles when I mention Blaise. “She decided on a college finally. I put in my request to change locations.”
“Wow,” I smile, “that’s a big move. I’m impressed.”
“Well, you won’t be when you find out who they’re wanting to pull in for my replacement,” Jay tells me, his smile fading.
“He’s a good person and a strong cop. He’ll be fine eventually.” I lift my shoulders, while pain pricks behind my eyes.
“There’s good daycare and schools around the area. Selene will do well here too.”
I nod, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “I hope so. All I’ve ever wanted is for her to be safe and loved.”
“She is. And we will make sure she is safe.” Jay clears his throat. “We need to talk about your death.”
I sit up straighter and listen to how Scarlet Reyes will officially be dead. Everything will take place outside the courthouse right after my guilty verdict. I’ll be gunned down and pronounced dead on the scene. After my death has run its course on television and in the news, I’ll be moved to the private facility that houses other women in similar situations to my own and serve my time. I had no idea a place like that existed until Stephanie brought it up. Jay leaves soon after and I’m left to ponder my fate. My identity will die; I’ll live as a ghost until I’m free to become a new me. I curl up in a ball on my mattress and mourn the life I’m leaving. It isn’t a hardship to let go of the bad. It’s the suffering I know those who love me will feel. I cry for them and I cry for the rest of my twenties that will be spent behind bars. I cry and cry until there are no tears left in me, and sleep finally takes me.
“Any questions?” Stephanie asks me, and I shake my head no. I’ve already signed the agreement and now it’s up to the judge to decide my fate. I run a hand over my favorite black pant suit before pushing my hair back from my face. Everyone is tight-lipped and their faces are passive. It really does feel like a funeral in here.
“Let’s get going,” Jay instructs and I follow them out of my cell and into the lobby. We ride the elevator down to the underground garage when I hear Jay swear under his breath.
“Scar!” My head twists in that direction, only to see Trent running toward us. His t-shirt is inside out and he’s wearing joggers. His hair is unkept, his hands running through it, and I’ve never thought he looked more beautiful than he does right now. My heart beats faster in my chest, wondering what it means for us if he’s here now.
“What are you doing?” Jay asks, turning to him, his authoritarian voice coming out.
“What the fuck are you doing? You told me to take a few weeks to get my shit together and figure out stuff with Selene. I haven’t even finished my part of the report and you’re already going ahead with court?” His voice is angry and he gets up in Jay’s face. I flinch from the impact of his words. Another part of my heart shrivels and dies, realizing he isn’t here because he’s upset I’m going in, but because he didn’t get a say in the conditions.