Her words cause my chest to tighten. I hate that I missed it. I hate that my daughter is five and I know nothing about her life or what she looks like. My eyes sting, and I rub them with the heels of my palms. Scarlet cries silently across from me. I want to hold her while at the same time I’m so angry that I try to convince myself she deserves it.
“I prayed for a girl,” she says, once again pulling my attention to her. “I knew in my heart if it was a boy, he’d look just like you. There would be no way to hide that. I put myself in a panic for months. After finding out I was pregnant, my father wasn’t happy, but he also did what I thought and left me alone. I was being watched the entire time still and I knew he would be curious about the sex of the baby to see if he could gain anything. The day the doctor told me it was a girl, I’d never felt more relief.”
“Do you have a picture?”
She shakes her head. “I never carry one. If it ever fell into the wrong hands, I didn’t want anyone going after her. She’s beautiful, Trent. She has dark hair like mine, same nose and lips, but she has your eyes.”
I nod my head, trying to picture everything, every detail in my mind. Once again hating Raul Alverez for ever being part of my life. He tainted everything and his mark is still left on the world. I thought last night had been a break for Scarlet and me, only to come full circle with more secrets.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, and I can’t make myself reassure her.
I get it to some extent, from what she’s explained. I can’t help but think, though, that I could have helped. I could have intervened. I could have protected them if she trusted me. I would have given up motocross and AfterHours in a heartbeat, and called up Jay too.
“You should have told me,” I tell her, “we could have fixed everything then.”
“Would you have, though? If I had come to you and told you everything, would you have walked away that day? Knowing I was lying to you and betraying you?” she counters.
My jaw clenches. I want to argue that I would have, only I don’t know for sure. In hindsight, yes, I like to think I would have. I don’t know about twenty-one-year-old me, though. I glance down at her stomach, thinking about last night. “I didn’t use a condom last night.”
Her eyes meet mine and a sad smile tugs her lips. “I’m clean. I also have the implant now.” I nod. Silence stretching between us again.
“What do we do now?” I ask, hoping she has a better solution than I do.
“Keep going with our plan,” she responds. “Julio will be here soon. We get this over with then we deal with what’s next.” Her throat bobs again. “I’m not refuting that I’ve done horrible things. I just wanted you to understand why I did them. While I’m away, will you take Selene and raise her?”
“Scar,” I start to say before she cuts me off.
“She knows you. Well, knows about you. I’ve never lied about her daddy, only kept your name a secret if Grandpa visited. Evita tells her every day that we’re on an adventure to save the world. So, she knows you. If you take her, she’s going to be thrilled to meet you,” Scarlet finishes.
I take a step toward her, my hands resting gently on her shoulders. Her body grows rigid, as if she’s unsure about the contact. I give her a small tug forward, until she steps closer. Her arms eventually wind around my waist, her head resting against my chest. I hold her, until she stops crying, and until my own feelings are less intense. The situation we’re in just became more fucked-up. Jay and I are going to have words. Somehow, I have to reexamine my own beliefs and figure out what I can live with and what I can’t. First, though, we have a date with Julio Bandara.
“Hey Momma,” Julio Bandara, Ghost, a notorious man that we’ve spent years searching for walks into the room with the swagger of the criminal he is. What I hate most, though, is when he stops in front of Scarlet and kisses her cheek. She may be oblivious, but I see it. The way his gaze rakes over her with a hint of possessiveness. He wants her. Lucky for me, I get to hear everything, while I’m still acting like her bodyguard.
“How is your room?” she asks, when they sit again.
“The roses are a nice touch.” He smirks at her and she laughs, her fingertips brushing his arm. My jaw clenches and I fight the urge not to make a scene. Another reason I’ll be happy to see all of this over with is that Scarlet can quit acting.
“I was expecting more product,” he adds, and her head nods, a secret smile on her face.
“There is more,” she sighs, before sitting back in her seat, legs crossing. “Unfortunately, my father’s death left me with more eyes on me than I like. Business here is almost nonexistent. I need to get back home.”
“What’s stopping you?” he questions, his legs spreading while he contemplates what she’s telling him.
“Besides the obvious,” she spreads her arms wide, indicating the hotel, “no, it’s the anonymity.”
“I’m sure a smart woman such as yourself has a plan,” he retorts, finally taking a sip from the bourbon in front of him. His questions sound harmless, exactly what a business partner would ask, only Bandara doesn’t play that role. He’s testing her.
“I found a driver.” Scarlet shoots back the shot of tequila in front of her without flinching. “There is a new path called the Arroz Strait. Tomorrow night, I’m expecting my shipment delivered.”
“With the hotel out of commission, you need another distribution point,” he drawls, and she nods at him again.
“I’ve put out some feelers. Most of them are accessible.”
Julio strokes his jaw with his fingers, lost in thought, before his eyes move lazily back to her. “I got a guy, but it will cost you, Momma.”
Scarlet makes a face. “I can’t move big right now. Cash, yes, I have that on hand. Nothing else until all this media and the blue boys leave me alone again.”
“Money always talks, Scarlet, you know this.” He smirks at her.
“How much would your guy cost me, after you take your cut?” Her head tilts like she’s contemplating it.
“He’s a reasonable man. I’m sure you’d fine it acceptable,” Julio replies, and Scarlet nods, pretending to think it over.
“Meet at the Arroz Strait? You take the product to your person, leave my cut and take your own from there?” she asks, making a plan. Julio regards her for a second before nodding in agreement.
“I usually charge for personal delivery,” he throws out, and she laughs.
“I’ll give you a free night in our penthouse.”
He smiles at her crookedly, when she flashes a smile of her own.
“What do you plan to do with your newfound freedom with Daddy dead? I doubt you plan to stay here.”
“After this deal, I’ll be leaving the States for a while. Tijuana is not on my radar, so don’t worry. I’m thinking of spending time on the East Coast,” she tells him.
Bandara strokes his chin, thinking over her words and proposition. She basically is handing him the best deal that could be presented between the two of them, saying she plans to fuck off from the land her dad was controlling. Too bad the deal isn’t real. With Alverez out of the way, Julio can expand in that area, since Scarlet is not planning to claim it.