“I agree completely,” Ruby says. “But even then, watching Hugh pretend to be some kind of down to earth everyman, when everyone knows he’s secretly the biggest prima donna on the show, is super entertaining to me.”
“To me, too!” I say, laughing.
“What does your brother say about Hugh?” Kai asks.
Tate chuckles. “My brother says Hugh is a flaming cunt.”
Everyone laughs uproariously while I shift my weight in my chair. If I don’t say something now, I feel like it will seem weird later, when my name is announced and everyone realizes I sat here and said nothing.
“Titus and I used to watch the show every week with our mom,” Ruby says.
“You watched with Mom,” Titus says. “I never did.”
“Yes, you did. Remember, you were obsessed with that one contestant . . . Kikuko?”
Titus grins. “Oh, yeah. Kikuko. She was hot.”
Everyone laughs, except Savage, who hasn’t laughed once during this entire conversation. At this point, I’m not sure if he’s even capable of laughing.
I clear my throat, still mustering my courage. “I used to watch with my mom and sister every week,” I say, looking at Ruby. “And guess who’s always been my mom’s favorite?” I snort. “Hugh.”
Everyone chuckles. Again, everyone except Savage. And I suddenly realize this is it. My last chance to mention that I’m going to be appearing as a mentor on the next season. If I don’t say it now, the conversation will shift and I’ll lose my chance. I take a deep breath. “I’m actually going to be on the show next season. Just one episode, as a mentor for Aloha’s team.”
The table explodes with congratulations and reactions from everyone except Savage. Most notably, Titus apologizes for calling the show “cringey-ass” earlier.
“No need to apologize,” I say. “It is cringey-ass.”
“But that’s its charm,” Ruby interjects. “Congrats, Laila. That’s awesome.”
“Thank you. The best part was telling my mom. She shrieked with joy when she found out.”
“Yeah, and I bet the paycheck won’t suck, either,” Titus says.
“Actually, the pay for mentors is almost nothing,” I admit. “Only a couple thousand bucks—just enough to meet union minimums.”
My musician, Tate, says, “Yeah, my brother says they’re cheap-ass bastards to everyone but the judges. The judges make millions per season, while everyone else makes peanuts.” He smiles at me. “I’m sure it’ll be well worth your while, for reasons other than the salary.”
“My label head and agent both think so. Honestly, I’d have said yes for no money at all. Just for the exposure.”
Savage scoffs and, for the first time, deigns to enter the conversation. “Never do anything for free, unless it’s for charity. But definitely not for a cringey-ass TV show that’s making money, hand over fist, for everyone but the talent. Always know your worth, Laila. If you don’t, nobody else will.”
I furrow my brow in surprise. I’m not certain if he was intending to compliment me, or chastise me, with that comment. All I know is it felt like the latter. “There was no way to push back on the money,” I insist. “They’ve got a waiting list a mile long of people wanting to be a mentor. Plus, like I said, Reed and my agent, who’s one of the best in the business, both said it was worth it to take the gig, so that’s what I did. But, regardless, it’s one day of work to make my mom extremely happy. And that’s enough for me.”
Savage rolls his eyes. “Never mix emotion and business, Laila. That’s a recipe for disaster.”
What the fuck? Who does he think he is? I pull a face that hopefully expresses my extreme annoyance. “I don’t know why you think it’s your place to offer me unsolicited business advice,” I say. “Especially when I’ve already signed the contract and can’t do anything about it now. I had one of the top agents in LA, plus Reed, both adamantly advising me to take the deal, so I did.”
“I don’t know your agent, but I know Reed is always looking out for Reed.”
“Good, because our interests are perfectly aligned. The show will boost my music sales and profile, so I can make big money down the line, both for Reed and myself. Not everything is about instant gratification, Savage, contrary to what you might think.”
He smirks but says nothing . . . but the air between us suddenly feels like it’s crackling with electricity.
“Sounds like you made a great decision to me!” Ruby chirps, her eyes telling Savage not to say another word.
Slowly, Savage picks up his water bottle and takes a long, languid sip, his eyes trained on mine and his body language oozing with disdain.
I shouldn’t do it. I shouldn’t care about his opinion, but I do. My breathing stilted, I say, “So, I take it you agree the show is cringey-ass?”
“I do. My grandmother loves it, so I’ve seen it a few times. And it gives me hives every time.”
I tighten my jaw. “Well, thank goodness, you’re not the one they’ve asked to be on it, then.”
“Thank goodness for small mercies.” He puts his water bottle down. “Obviously, you’re happy about this, so I’m happy for you. Congrats.”
I shoot him daggers. Even while saying all the right words, his tone is infuriating. Doesn’t he realize my career is at a totally different level than his, and almost certainly will never reach the towering heights of his? So excuse me if I’ve taken a job he considers beneath him. A job I’m honestly really excited about.
Out of nowhere, Savage bites back a smile in reaction to whatever he’s seeing on my face. He licks his lips, suggestively, and, suddenly, despite my annoyance with him, I’m feeling highly aroused. Without warning, warmth oozes into my core and between my legs, making me pulse and tingle. And that’s how I know there’s something really wrong with me . . . because being angry with this man only makes me want to fuck him, all the more.
I stand, suddenly feeling the need to get away from him. To save myself. I announce, awkwardly, “I think it’s time for me to meet my hair and makeup woman in my dressing room.” It’s not true. It’s not even close to time for that. But that’s what came out of my mouth. My gaze still holding Savage’s and my cheeks burning, I add, “I’ll probably call my mom, too, for a little pre-show pep talk.” Why am I saying that? These people don’t care about my To Do List. My face blooming, I peel my eyes off Savage’s to address the rest of his band. “Have a great show, guys. I’ll watch from the wings.”
They wish me a great show, too, and I thank them, before turning on my heel and striding out of the greenroom as fast as my legs will carry me, feeling Savage’s dark eyes on my backside as I go.
Ten
Laila
Providence, Rhode Island
There’s music blaring in Titus’ hotel suite. Drunk, stoned people are all around me, laughing and playing drinking games. Beer pong and Drunk Jenga, mainly. We’re celebrating Titus’ and Ruby’s joint twenty-fifth birthday tonight at a post-show party. All the musicians from both bands are here, plus, a select group of staffers and crew. And, glory be, I’m the perfect level of drunk. Still totally coherent and in control of myself, but feeling fine as wine and invincible.