I stare at his exquisite profile for a long moment, overcome by my attraction to him, and finally say, “I heard a rumor you posted that shot yourself—for publicity or whatever. True?”
He scoffs. “Not true.” He flicks some ash from his cigarette onto the ground. “I had nothing to do with it, other than I was stupid enough to take a shower after sex with someone I barely knew, without locking the door.”
I contemplate that response for a moment, while, again, admiring his gorgeous profile. His lips as he sucks on his cigarette. I hate cigarettes and don’t find them sexy. But I must admit the way Savage is sucking on that thing, and licking his lips in between, makes me wonder what it would be like to kiss him. To have him perform oral sex on me. Sex, sex, sex. Suddenly, that’s all I’m thinking about. Sex with Adrian Savage.
I clear my throat and motion to the cigarette between his lips. “Aren’t you worried you’re gonna get addicted? Nicotine is supposedly more addictive than cocaine.”
Savage shrugs. “Like I said, I only smoke when I’m drunk and feel the overwhelming urge to put something in my mouth.” He licks his lips again, this time even more suggestively than before. And, right on cue, I’m feeling the beginning stirrings of arousal again.
I shift my position on the ground, trying to alleviate the faint pulsing between my legs. “My dad was a heavy smoker and my sister and I once stole one of his cigarettes, when we were, like, nine and twelve. And the minute I inhaled, I thought I was going to die. I thought it was the most disgusting thing I’d ever tasted in my life.”
“And you’ve never tried it again?”
I shake my head. “Why would I, when I know how bad it is for me? Plus, I associate smoking with my father, and he’s not a good memory.”
“Is he dead?”
“No. Just out of my life. And good riddance.”
He holds up the bottle. “Cheers to that.” He takes a swig and hands it to me.
“Cheers to that,” I echo, before taking a long guzzle. “Uh oh,” I say. “Does this qualify as me drowning my sorrows, now that I’ve mentioned my asshole father?”
He chuckles. “Yeah. Probably.”
“You seriously never drown your sorrows?”
He shrugs. “You associate cigarettes with your asshole father. I associate being an angry, pissed off drunk with mine. Good riddance.”
“Cheers to that.” I take a swig and hand him the bottle.
“Cheers to that,” he echoes, before taking a long sip.
My heart is thundering at this unexpectedly amazing conversation. I don’t know how I thought this “confrontation” was going to go when I marched out here . . . but never in a million years did I think it would go like this. Savage seems almost normal. Likeable and friendly. And insanely, irresistibly hot.
“So, what do you do whenever you feel like drowning your sorrows, if you don’t drink?” I ask.
Savage blows a stream of smoke into the air, but this time, pointedly, away from me. “Various things. I work out. Write a song. Jack off. Or, if convenient, I fuck.”
A soft whimper escapes my lips, so I press them together and look out at the ocean to gather myself. Well, that was a fascinating answer.
“You still dating the basketball player?” he asks, out of nowhere. And I’m shocked he knows that false fact about me. Kendrick told him about that? Now, why would he do that?
I pause, not sure how to play this. Should I come clean and admit I lied to Kendrick, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings? Or should I lean into the lie?
Before I’ve decided, Savage says, “I overheard Tracy putting Malik’s name onto the VIP list for the New York charity show.”
There’s jealousy glinting in his dark eyes, as plain as day. He’s trying to hide it, but it’s there. The same way it was there when I flirted with Cash in front of him at Reed’s party. And, suddenly, I know exactly how to play this. Lean into the lie.
“Yeah, he’s coming,” I reply casually. “He wanted to come to both nights, but he’s playing a game on Friday night.”
A scornful puff of air escapes Savage’s nose. “Have you never googled him, for fuck’s sake? Look at the Reddit boards about him, Laila! I wouldn’t call him ‘boyfriend material.’”
I’m flabbergasted. What an unexpected burst of passion from Mr. I Don’t Give a Fuck! “Of course, I’ve googled him,” I retort. “And it ain’t pretty. But guess who else I’ve googled? You. And that shit ain’t any prettier, Mr. Dick Pic. So, I’d advise you not to throw stones from your glass house.”
“The difference is I don’t pretend to be boyfriend material.”
“People change and grow. They learn from their mistakes. Malik swears he’s learned from his mistakes, and I believe him.”
The first part of my statement is true. Malik has, indeed, sworn up and down he’s a changed man who’s now looking for a committed relationship. The second part, however—that I’m stupid enough to actually believe what Malik told me—is a bald-face lie. In fact, it’s my firm belief Malik only said he’s looking for a committed relationship because I told him that’s what I’d need to sleep with him. I actually only said that to Malik to torture him. I’ve certainly had sex outside of a committed relationship in my life. But I won’t do that with Malik Wallace. Hell no. There’s no way I’m going to be nothing but another notch on that bad boy’s belt.
Shaking his head, Savage takes a long slug from the bottle before saying, “Chris Rock once famously said men are only as faithful as their options. Looks like you’re going to be putting that theory to the test with your ‘boyfriend,’ especially in a long distance relationship. Open your eyes, Fitzy. Basketball isn’t that guy’s only game.”
Fitzy? I’ve never heard that before. It sounds to me like the name of a very tiny dog in a very fluffy tutu. I’m not sure I like it. But I decide, rather than mention this new, surprising nickname he’s concocted for me, to call him something I’ve never called him, in return. “I find it perplexing you’ve gone to the trouble of googling Malik and his track record with women, Adrian. What a strange thing for you to be wasting your time doing.”
Savage scowls when I call him Adrian, and then says, “I didn’t google him, Fitzy. Kendrick did and then wouldn’t shut the fuck up about what he’d found.”
I feel my shoulders droop with disappointment. But why? I should have known. Savage had the chance to hit on me at Reed’s party, every bit as much as Malik did. And Savage chose to hit on everyone else but me, and then leave early with whoever he’d settled on, while I was performing onstage. “Not that it’s any of your business,” I say, “but Malik and I have had some detailed conversations about his past behavior and I’ve told him I won’t put up with that kind of shit.” True. “He’s assured me he’s a new man.” Also, true. “I believe in second chances.” Again, true, although I’m not sure Malik Wallace is deserving of one. “So, I’ve decided to believe what Malik has told me, unless and until he proves me wrong.” Lies, lies, lies. I’m stupid when it comes to men, but I’m not a damned fool.