“I don’t know…” She sighs when I circle her nipple with my thumb, the sound going straight to my dick. “I don’t know if I can fully trust you, Shep.”
I go completely still, shame washing over me. I deserve that. “Let me prove it to you.”
“Prove to me what?” She’s frowning, her eyebrows draw together and damn it, I love every look she wears. When she’s happy, when she’s sad, when she’s mad, when she’s aroused, confused…
All of them. Every single one. I want every expression, every sound, every word she says. I want to know about all of them, I want to share these moments with her, I want them to be all for me and no one else.
Selfish. I sound like a selfish asshole and I’ve always been one. But I desperately want to be selfish with Jade. I want all of her. I need to convince her that I’m worthy to stand by her side. To be a part of her life.
“Prove that I’m worthy of you. That I can earn your trust back. That I’ll be there for you no matter what,” I tell her, noting the way her eyes go wide at my words. She probably doesn’t believe me.
I can’t wait to prove her wrong.
Nineteen
Shep
I got Jade the hell out of that frat house as fast as I could. She wanted to tell her roommate she was leaving and I could respect that. I didn’t much appreciate the dirty looks Kelli kept shooting my direction as Jade explained where she was going—my house—and who she was going with—me—but I figured I deserved those evil looks. After all, I’m the one who ditched her friend after an epic blowjob.
Meaning, I’m a complete idiot.
Thank Christ Joel wasn’t around when we made our escape. I didn’t want to deal with that kid. I’m still pissed at the way he kissed Jade right in front of me. Just fucking kissed her like he had the right to do so and holy hell, I’m seeing red just thinking about it.
“I have a question,” I say nonchalantly as we’re driving back to my house. It’s been oddly quiet the entire drive and I wonder if she’s having any regrets. I hope not.
“What is it?” she asks, sounding wary.
“You and Joel.” I take a deep breath, contemplating if I should ask her or not.
“Yes,” she answers before I can say another word. “I’ve had sex with Joel.”
What the fuck? This mind reading thing is freaky as hell. “You have.” My voice is flat and I exhale loudly, gripping the steering wheel.
“Yeah. We were together for months, Shep. I thought…” She shakes her head. “I sort of thought I was falling in love with him at one point, but I think I just liked the idea of being in love, not necessarily being in love with Joel, you know what I mean?”
I have no idea what she’s talking about. Liking the idea of being in love? I can hardly wrap my brain around it. All I can focus on is that Joel’s seen her naked. He’s touched her. He’s fucked her, the lucky bastard. I hate that he’s been with Jade in such an—intimate way that I haven’t.
Yet.
“Does he want you back?” I sound like a croaking frog and I clear my throat.
“Yeah. He admitted as much yesterday when we talked.” My gaze cuts to hers and she’s staring at me, her eyes wide, her expression serious. Too serious. “I don’t want to be with him. I told him that from the very start.”
“Yet you went to the party with him.” Dressed like…fuck, like that. All sexy and shit. I can hardly focus on the road ahead of me. All I want to do is run my hands over her bare legs.
“Kelli wanted me to go with them so I agreed. She knew it was at your frat and she was banking on you being there.”
“Were you banking on me being there?”
“Why do you think I wore these shorts?”
Surprise filling me, my gaze meets hers again and she’s smiling at me, looking rather pleased with herself.
“So you wore them for me.”
“In the hopes that you’d be there…yeah.”
“You about gave me a heart attack when I first saw you in those shorts,” I mutter, my gaze going to her pale thighs. I want to touch them. My fingers are fucking tingling, I want to touch them so bad.
“The shorts are Kelli’s. They’re way too short for me,” she explains.
“They’re perfect.” I give in and reach out to rest my hand on her thigh, sliding my fingers between them and she shifts beneath my touch, trapping my fingers. Her skin is silky soft and so fucking smooth. “You’re a tease.”
“I think you like it when I tease you,” she whispers.
No use denying the truth. Removing my hand from her legs, I clutch the steering wheel and press harder on the gas. Eager to get back to my house so I can drag her up to my bedroom and end this night on the right note. Nothing is stopping us. No drunken Jade. No random girls bursting into my room and calling us fuck birds. No period issues. No Shep issues.
Well. I can’t guarantee I won’t have an issue but I gotta ignore it. No panicking allowed. No worry over what she wants from me. No worry over what I might want from her. I need to focus on the here and now. That Jade is willingly in my car and is going home with me—again, willingly. This is major. I can’t mess it up.
I refuse to mess this up.
Within minutes I’m pulling the car into the garage and I practically leap out of my seat, going round to the passenger side so I can open Jade’s door. All I see are her legs as she climbs out of the car, my mouth going dry as I drink them in.
I am in serious trouble tonight.
Taking her hand, I tug her into the house, through the kitchen, the living room, down the hall, heading straight for my bedroom. She’s been there before. I had her pinned to my bed that one night when we finally kissed for the first time. How long ago was that? It feels like months though I think it’s really only been weeks. How can I feel so connected to a girl I’ve known for only a short time? I want to learn everything about her—and not just what gets her off. I want to know what makes her tick, what she wants out of life.
This is the sort of thing that scares the crap out of me so I push the crazy thoughts from my head as I pull her into my bedroom and shut the door behind her, turning the lock, watching as she stops at the foot of the bed, slowly turning to face me.
There’s no light on in the room but my blinds are still open and slivers of moonlight spill into the room, illuminating Jade in shadow. I say nothing and neither does she and I wonder for a panicked moment if she can hear my heart racing. It’s like all I can hear, the rushing sound filling my ears, filling my head.
She sits on the edge of the bed and takes off first one sandal, then the other. They both fall to the floor with a solid thump and she pushes her feet into the floor, her toes curling as I hear them crack.
“Those sandals were killing my feet,” she murmurs.
Relief floods me. God, she’s so normal. So…regular. And not in a bad way. In a wonderful, perfect way. Any other girl would’ve tried to jump me the second the door closed. Or she would’ve offered up a strip tease, ending up sprawled across my bed looking nothing like I imagined. Push up bras hide small tits. Excess makeup hides regular features. Teased, blonde hair lies when the pubic hair is revealed to be pitch black. Or worse, there’s no hair, nothing but a very bare, very pubescent looking pussy and that just turns me off.