“I don’t think you’re taking it seriously enough. You pushed me last night when I politely tried to avoid any further dates. Without a kiss. I had many reasons. The least of them being how awkward we were.”
She pushed off the counter. Turning, she stomped out the back door, or what was left of the door with a loose, hanging hinge and a broken window. Beyond that was a small patch of yard, maybe it was formerly a lawn but now it was nothing but brambles. A decaying, broken down chicken coop stood nearby. She walked along the side of the house until she came around to the front of it.
He followed and stopped behind her.
“What were your reasons?” she finally asked him, leaving her gaze on the awesome vastness of land stretching out before her. It seemed eager for transformation into a farm and grazing land.
“I didn’t see the point. No way could I see you in the lifestyle I’ve fully decided to commit myself to. Oddly enough, Preston’s accident was what fully propelled me. I’ve been coasting for a few years. Unsure about what to do and nervous to risk spending money. But I really have to ask you, Daisy, why not date someone from New York City? That type of person is a much better match for you.”
She scoffed and glared at him over her shoulder. “It doesn’t work that way, genius. Your emotions don’t decide. They just happen and drag you along with them when they go off. There’s no control involved. You can’t decide who or what might stimulate them. Obviously, you never experienced uncontrollable sensations. Lucky you. But at least it explains a lot about this… this flirtation.”
“Wrong. It doesn’t. I—” He walked away from her, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t get it. I never thought about you in the past. Now, all I can do is think about you, to the point of being obsessed. It doesn’t make any sense.”
She flipped around and her gaze fell heavily on him. “That’s it. No one can control what develops from whatever you want to call this. Attraction? Infatuation? Response? Believe me, I know how annoying it can be.” Arms crossed, she fully glared at him and all but tapped her foot. “But please, go on with all you figured out in one day.”
“Well, hell, Daisy, you should not be interested in me. You live on the east coast. I’m moving here. How…? Where do you imagine all of this happening?”
“All of what happening?” she snapped.
“The results of our attraction? What happens then? Why? What’s the end game? That’s what bothered me last night.”
“I’m not fully aware of the end game. Why do we feel like this? Why does anyone? Ever? I mean, when this house was built, people probably got married at age sixteen and had one or two kids at the age of eighteen. Obviously, human biology hasn’t changed except in life expectancy and alternate lifestyles. Oops. Darn nature. So, there is such a thing as attraction. I don’t know why it exists. Or what nature uses it for. How do you expect me to respond to that? People have sex. All the time. Once and done. Often and done. I don’t know why. We just do. And usually, it’s better with someone you have chemistry with. I don’t want to marry you. Or have your kids. Oh, my God. No. That is literally not on my horizon. This house and lifestyle? Don’t care a hoot about either. I mean, get a freaking grip, Asher Reed. I was—”
He stepped towards her and grabbed her elbow when she flung her arm up in disgust and looked as if she were ready to leave. “You weren’t anything. Don’t you dare blow this off as a potential casual hookup. I’m not a dude you met at a campus party. Or a friend you hang out with. I’m literally part of your extended family. I will be always. So, nothing will be casual between us. And jumping into the quicksand like we are? That’s just plain stupid. Maybe it’s par for your course, not mine. Calling you flaky might not be so unwarranted, is it? Yeah, I was going to ignore the whole thing. Let it go. Sure, it was a mutual attraction. We’re both young and find each other physically appealing. Okay. Sure. We can admit that. But we cannot act on it. Be mature and responsible; we have to do the right thing. The right thing is not doing anything. Preserve our friendship and respect our sense of family because those will always be there for us.”
Now they were so close, she was panting instead of breathing. He definitely pissed her off. All those assumptions about her. He didn’t know anything. How could he? “I know. Of course, I realize it’s not just anything. I’m the one who remained strictly friends with you for all these years. Years of feeling what I feel now. No wonder I’m so confused and annoyed. I just want them to go away. Leave me alone. You experienced them for what? One day? And you think you can control them? Good fucking luck. Nothing ever works. I know all about trying to control them. I’m also aware of all the potential problems. From our family connection, to your age, to my current lifestyle and future, to yours. No, I didn’t know this was in the cards—” Her hand swept through the air, indicating the empty, desolate homestead they stood on. “But I knew New York wasn’t where you wanted to be. I don’t want to keep wanting you. God. Do you think this is something I would choose?”
“I just think we cannot act on it.”
“Then why did you kiss me? I didn’t force you. Why did you bother to see me today? Again, you’re bigger than me, so don’t you dare say I forced you to come.”
“I was planning to say all that I said.”
“You’re pretty lousy at it.” She glared and stepped closer, all but pushing him back, as if it were some kind of dare.
“At what?”
“In telling me this. First, you warn me about how you want to spend your future life. Then you get mad when I say I don’t want a future with you, but to have a casual, fun time together now. But that’s not the right answer either. You’re all over the place. All you had to do was ignore me. And not kiss me. You could have let me down easy. If that’s what you wanted, why didn’t you say so? Instead, you recite a litany of reasons in order to convince yourself how you feel.”
His stunned expression let her know she was right. The catalogue of reasons he should not be with her that he explicitly itemized was totally unnecessary. He could have simply let her crush die a natural death last night. If only he denied the kiss she asked for, there would be no spending today together.
The subsequent tension would have resulted in them ignoring each other. All he had to do was not respond. Instead, he was all but lecturing her with lame excuses.
There they stood, toe-to-toe, their breaths mingling. It was too much to endure. Too much anger eclipsed by too much attraction. Even the chemistry was overwhelming. They both felt it. She knew it was real. But Asher remained in deep denial or else he just wanted to run from it. She stepped back. “We should eat before you announce how many children I should expect to bear.”
Smiling sweetly, she strolled towards the truck and hauled out the picnic basket. She carried it to the front porch. The half-rotten stairs and cracked boards revealed glimpses of the ground they covered. Daisy found a fairly decent spot to sit. She took out separate containers; one was full of fried chicken and the other had sliced apples. She unsnapped the lid and pulled a chicken leg out and started munching on it.
Asher stood right where she left him, his hands on his hips, frowning at her.