So close to stomping her foot in protest, Daisy resisted the urge as it would have given more substance to his argument. She was not an immature, flaky brat.
She licked her lips. Breathing deeply, she tried to slow her thoughts and words. In order to prove her maturity, she couldn’t keep venting and yelling. She had to calm down and address his concerns. “Fine. Okay, I’ll admit that I didn’t consider all those things. But it was never with the carefree coldness you’re insinuating. I don’t even know where you came up with that assumption. It’s not about me. I just… I liked you, Asher. It wasn’t a rational choice. Or an evil one. It wasn’t a game or something I devised a plan for. It just existed in me. I didn’t hate those feelings because I thought you were worth it. Having you as a friend or something more seemed like a worthwhile intention and good for me. Not this.” Her hand waved at his scowling, glaring form as he loomed over her.
Whipping around, her hair fanned out like a flag behind her. It flopped onto her back as she bent over to scoop up the lame, stupid picnic. Tears burned in her eyes. They stung. But she sniffed and simply forced them to stay back. She would not cry. Not here. Not like this.
“Daisy… wait.” His tone was different. Cooler. Calmer. More Asher-like. But no, he already showed his true colors. Maybe that was the real Asher on a date.
“No. Let’s just go.”
She felt a whoosh of air and thought he grabbed for her arm and missed. Then he moved around to stand in front of her. “Wait.”
“For what? More accusations? You’ve proven how wrong I was. About everything. Including ever thinking I liked you.”
He sighed, putting his hands on his hips. “I didn’t mean for that to go where it did. I don’t… I’m not mean.”
“You just were with me.”
He chewed on his lower lip as his gaze skittered all around. Towards and away from her, then directly at her. “I don’t know why I’m so confused. It feels so different to be around you now, yet until a week ago, it didn’t. How can it be so different when nothing happened? Not really. What you said made me start thinking things I’ve never thought about you before. Things… that I keep thinking about you.”
She released the handle of the picnic basket and rose up to face him. She kept her expression guarded and neutral. Her tone was calm and cool as she asked, “What things? How flaky and immature I am? How I could never fit into the tough life ahead you planned for yourself and your future farm-wife? How crazy to admit I like you without committing to living there.” She waved at the house behind him.
He glanced back and then looked at her. Finally, his eyes brightened and widened. Shutting them, he rubbed his hand over his face. “Oh, God, when you describe it, I sound… ridiculous.”
Nodding, her tone still even and cool, she said, “Yes, Asher you do because you are.”
“I just… I don’t want to date you. Or be attracted to you. I want things the way they were. Before you told me. And yet… no matter how many arguments I have, and yeah, I have had a lot in my head, I guess you’re right. I am saying them out loud in order to convince myself. Or to make you run off and forget all this. Because what if—”
Stony-faced, she raised an eyebrow. “What if what?”
“What if I can’t? What if I’m left here, all alone, and it turns out to be not what I want?”
Her eyes might have popped out of her head. His tone was completely different now. It was quiet, but husky and filled with emotion. Oh… oh, not what she expected after the anger and cool logic he prattled about so far. Her befuddled brain was still trying to undertake the Herculean task of getting to the conclusion. “You’re mad at me because you discovered you might like me too?”
His hands made fists and he released them at his sides. Anxiety? Yes. It was real and he was truly upset. It seemed to emanate from him. “Maybe.”
She blew out a rush of air that fluttered her hair. “I honest to God have no idea what to say to that.”
“I guess I obviously don’t either.”
“I’m so confused now. Asher, what were you doing? Trying to be as awful as you could so I’d hate you and break off this… whatever you call it?”
“No. Yes… maybe.” He turned and started pacing, his hands ravaging through his hair. “I don’t know. I’ve never experienced anything like this. I don’t know how I feel or what I want to feel. I don’t know what this is. Or how it could become anything other than what it is. And I’ve never not known how I feel or what I think. I’m not sure what to do now.”
“And this profound conclusion arrived in the past half hour?”
He stopped dead, a few feet from her, his torn expression meeting hers. Confusion shone in his eyes. He lifted his face so he wasn’t looking at the pines and hills over her shoulder. “Yes. I think it did.”
She pressed her lips together. “This is the worst date I’ve ever been on.”
His lips tilted to one side. “Not the romantic fairy tale you envisioned?”
Snorting, she kicked the dirt with her foot. “Goodness, not even close. Maybe you were right. Let it die a natural death. We can look back and laugh at all this in a few months or whenever we next see each other. I’ll go to school and when I come home, we can just avoid each other.”
Sad and depressed that something she imbued with so much excitement was over, Daisy felt shattered. If she never dated Asher, the crush she harbored, which was always such an exciting part of her life, would still be alive. When would she see him next? What might he say to her? Oh. She liked to relive all those moments with a sense of joy as her own secret. A treasured secret. So maybe it ended in a dramatic bust, but all the joy it provided for her, including her own thoughts and feelings, was the goal. Not this. She never had to figure out dating until now.
Let him drag the sad picnic basket to the truck and end their misery.
Turning on her heel, she started to step away when suddenly Asher came up behind her and took her shoulder in his hand. He physically turned her around and put both his hands on her shoulders. Pulling her forward, until she was right next to him, he bent forward and without a chance to gasp, or think, or do anything, his lips landed on hers.
It wasn’t like their first kiss.
And unlike the conversation they argued and bungled their way through. There was no hesitation now, and no bungling.
His lips caught hers and his hands left her shoulders, slipping to the base of her neck and the back of her head. His grip cradled her head and tilted her face up so he could sip on her lips. He was so soft, with a closed mouth as he coaxed and adored and caressed her lips with his. He seemed to apologize, and also, ask for permission. Stunned still for a moment, she stood against him without reacting at first. Her arms circled his neck before her brain fully registered what was happening: he was kissing her. Holding onto his neck when he stepped closer, her body seemed to drape against his front. His mouth gently pressed and molded hers. His fingertips explored her scalp, sending off a rush of tingling, supersensitive awareness. His mouth opened over hers, and his tongue touched her lips, jolting sparks into her entire nervous system. Oh, my. The kiss was gentle and persuasive, but underneath lurked a power and strength that hinted at his feelings. Perhaps, they led Asher to this strange exploration of what-ifs today.