Things went well in the relationship Daisy always wanted but never thought she’d achieve. It was far better to live it than to just dream of it. The time and distance that separated them wasn’t a problem to her. It worked and even enhanced and refined the days they did get to spend together. Instead of making it harder, they were both grateful for any occasions they could share.
While Daisy’s senior year marched on she also did some soul searching about what might happen after she finally finished her degree. She looked for editing jobs with big publishing houses, but discovered they were rapidly converging. Where once many publishers needed new editors, now there were barely a fistful. The frequent merges diminished the demand for qualified editors. Most freelance editors worked for indie authors now.
A career she was more than qualified for. And something she could do from anywhere.
Yep. The only requirement was virtual interaction. Online. She could live anywhere in the world and still do that. As an online editor, she could quietly read books in her home, mark the changes on her computer and email it back to the author. That was a job she could do from anywhere: Nepal or Moscow or even from a ranch in River’s End.
But that wasn’t what she wanted originally. The draw for her was the location. A busy, amazing office with other lovers of fiction like her. Her critical eye and innate ease with usage and grammar were crucial assets that would help her succeed. Starting on the low rung of the ladder and making little money could eventually blossom into a real career.
But not if the market was drying up and her chances growing smaller every day. She finally admitted that to herself, and that her interest in being an editor was drying up as well. With a huge internal sigh, she realized what now caught her attention, far more then some fantasy editing job.
The law.
Two years before an acquaintance of hers got raped. Though it wasn’t her story, and the victim was not even a close friend, she followed the case through last year’s trial. It horrified her to see how ruthlessly the victim of such a heinous crime was treated.
She followed it online as so many others did. But to Daisy, it felt personal. And it mattered a lot to her. Rape victims weren’t respected or believed in many cases and fixing that permanently could only come by changing the law. Social mores would follow. But the law had to change first, since that was where fairness and justice began.
As her passion for the underdog grew, she knew, at her gut level, what she was searching for.
Daisy wanted to be a lawyer.
The realization fell on her like a bomb, and she wanted to hit her head on the bedpost. No way could she convince everyone that her newest career choice would be her last. The extensive schooling she needed. The derogatory comments from everyone. Flaky Daisy. Spacey Daisy. Noncommittal Daisy. The perpetual student in search of her next hobby, attraction, class, major, school and career idea.
But this time, Daisy felt different than before. This is what she truly wanted.
She decided to take the LSAT in October of her senior year. No one needed to know. To avoid more accusations of flakiness and indecision, she had to keep it quiet. And Asher? She hated to upset him with more changes and clashing lifestyles. So, she stayed quiet.
Daisy did well on the LSAT. She applied to ten law schools and was accepted by eight. One was even in Washington State. She had many choices but had to finally commit to one.
She also had to tell Asher.
Or was it better in the long run to forget it? She could graduate and go home to River’s End. Though she’d recently discovered her final quarter would be over the summer. She had ten credits to finish to get her degree. But as long as she had it before late September when law school was to start, she’d be fine.
Or she could find a way to grow her own editing business and simply do that. She could settle in with Asher. They could be together finally all the time. She could adapt to living on the ranch. They could get married and have kids and do all of it right there in River’s End. From Asher’s ranch.
She was cringing because she found it difficult to tell him. She accepted the offers from three schools, just to have more choice in the matter. Yeah, maybe there was some truth to the reputation she’d acquired over the years. Making a final commitment to the ideas she thought she wanted to do gave her anxiety. She hesitated to push that final nail into any decision. Mostly because her mind wondered about the choices she was rejecting. All she could see was what she might be missing by opting for another choice.
She definitely wanted to be with Asher. She always looked forward to her major breaks from school and loved the time she spent with him. The days at the ranch in the summer were like heaven to her. The vivid sunsets they watched from the porch of the old house contrasted with the cozy days nestled in a snow-laden oasis beside the fire with only themselves for company, and all were exquisite. Vacationing with Asher was a glimpse of Utopia. Dreaming of their future lives together was divine.
But she was not actually living in reality.
Those words Asher said when he cautioned her before they even went out on their first date, and their second date at the ranch, and when they slept together and confessed they loved each other, were percolating like a coffee pot in her brain. All of his doubts had finally caught up to her. And years later. Why? Because she needed to make a life-changing decision.
The hardest thing Daisy had to do was the one that she most waffled over and stressed about. Committing to any decision was difficult for Daisy, but such a significant one blew her mind. This one was huge, so she kept putting it off. Mentally, she pretended to be in law school and when she talked to Asher, she acted as if she were at the end of her education years.
“Daisy? I think it’s time you tell me what’s next.”
It was almost June and Daisy came home unexpectedly after learning her cousin, Hunter, was getting married in Seattle the coming weekend. She finagled the whole week off from school to be home. The rare opportunity to be together was something she and Asher naturally jumped on. They were curled up on the couch after kissing each other forever and pretending to watch a movie. Asher chose that moment to finally ask Daisy the question: what’s next? She didn’t reply but eventually, she rested her head on his shoulder and just stayed there. She loved how that felt. She never failed to enjoy Asher’s calming presence. He never bored but always excited her.
He could not see her face. Her eyes were shut, and she remained quiet after his low, soft question. She let the space and silence answer for her.
He sighed heavily. “We’re not living in the now and today anymore, are we?”
She kept still but finally shook her head on his shoulder, indicating it was negative. “Tell me, what are you thinking? Do you plan to work in New York?”
“No. That was a pipedream to justify getting my degree in English without ending up teaching school. I don’t want to be a teacher.”
“You don’t know what you want.”
She tilted her head up. His watchful gaze was on her. She knew because she felt it.
“No.”
“What then? You don’t know what you plan to do? You’re confused, unsure, and undecided?”
“What if I were? Am I Flaky Daisy again?”
He set his hand on her leg and squeezed it. “Daisy, after all this time, I deserve better than that. I haven’t called you that since before we were official. I meant it when I said I love your exuberance of life and ceaseless curiosity about everything. Your innate ability to stay in the here and now. But sometimes living in the here and now—”