I wasn’t surprised my accomplishments went dismissed. My dad only had room in whatever kind of heart he had for one child, and I was born second.
11
Lilly
“I suppose I no longer need to ask why you scheduled an emergency appointment.”
I had classes all day but I was skipping them. Nancy and I usually met once a month on Friday afternoons, but if I waited another twenty-four hours for our appointment, I was certain I was going to crawl out of my skin.
I’d called first thing, hobbling around my studio. Too terrified to go out in case Manny was there. Too terrified to sleep or stay inside in case he came home.
I was going on no sleep, a crashing adrenaline rush, and a whole hell of a lot of fear when my quaking hands finally managed to dial her number. Fortunately, possibly because I’d never called for an additional appointment, Nancy got me right in.
“I’m not here about this.” I swiped at the mess of my face. Dried red blood still oozed from the scrapes at my temple. With makeup, a hell of a lot of it, most of my scrapes were covered. The bruises were dark, already turning. Even the most expensive makeup, which I couldn’t afford, couldn’t hide the fact I had gotten my ass kicked.
“Really, because that gash on your face is a pretty damn good reason.”
I liked my therapist. She didn’t sugarcoat anything.
“No. I have bigger issues than some asshole, although I do need to call Ellen after.”
Maybe she could help find me another place to live. Not that I had options to get away too soon.
“You’re sure?” Nancy took her seat and crossed her legs. On Fridays she always wore jeans. I assumed it was some casual code before the weekend, but today she wore something similar. Jeans with some fraying at the ankles done in a designer way, not reused and recycled, like my own. She had on a simple tank top with a fluffy collar, covering her arms with a black cardigan she was always either wearing or had draped over her chair. Her bright red flats were cute, something I would have bought for myself if I had the money.
Sighing, I collapsed into the chair across from her and tucked my feet beneath me, knees to the side.
I ignored the sting in my knees as I bent them. “I was attacked last night outside my building and it freaked me out. I couldn’t sleep. So I’ll call Ellen and see if there’s anything we can do.”
Nancy, typically with pen poised for notes, gaped at me. “Did you call the police?”
I gave her a flat look. “Um. No.”
“Lilly—”
“What are they going to do? It’s a shit neighborhood where shitty things happen. They’ll take a statement, look into my record, either throw the statement out there or put in a piss poor attempt at finding the guy. He didn’t hurt me, not like that, so it’s not serious enough to throw enough manpower behind. And even if I did tell them who did it, it’s my word against his. Who’s to say he gets arrested anyway?”
“Do you know who did it?”
“A neighbor. He’s a dick. Was probably high or something. I’ll be more careful and buy pepper spray or something. And like I said, I’ll call Ellen.” I pushed my sweaty palms down my thighs and Nancy noticed.
Her lips pinched together. Nancy was pretty damn cool. She was only ten or so years older than me. With a different life, we might have been friends. I liked her style, her humor. I liked she didn’t coddle me or fill me with medical jargon bullshit I wouldn’t understand.
She was a straight-shooter with a kind smile, a husband and one son, not that she kept photos of them in her office. I tried to go to a church service once, but had felt out of place among the smiling, happy faces and perfectly dressed families. I had actually spied Nancy from a distance, grinning up at her husband, her son holding her hand. After seeing her, I scurried out. The church wasn’t big and at the time, I told myself I didn’t want to put her in an awkward position.
Truthfully, I’d never been a big church person in general. We went faithfully. My father made us. When you went to church with your mom using makeup like paint to hide a bruise, and you were within spitting distance of the man who did it, sermons of God’s father-like love tended to go right over your head.
There had been a church who came to the prison though. They came every month and did services for prisoners who had earned good behavior and wanted to get out of their cells. They weren’t horrible. Not judgmental like some others anyway. They hadn’t been bad, so when I got out, it’d made me curious.
I hadn’t been back since.
“Okay.” She tapped her pen to paper, relaxed into her chair. “So what’s the emergency?”
“There’s this guy.”
“Oh?” Scribble scribble.
“Not like that.” I laughed and shook my head. “No. It’s this dad and son. They’ve come into the diner and keep bugging me.”
Her blonde brows rose. “Bugging you how?”
I scowled at her. “Geez, Nancy. Isn’t your job to listen?”
She rolled her eyes and flicked her hand holding the pen in my direction. “My bad. Go on.”
“This dad comes in. Older. Nice looking, you know? Not really the type of people I see much of in Judith’s and he’s nice. Quiet. Orders pie. Asks me about my classes.”
Nancy taps her pen to paper. Sometimes I wonder what she writes. What is there to write about with what I’m saying? Insecure ex-con gets nervous around nice guys?
“Anyway, so he comes in and talks. A couple weeks ago, offered me a job.”
“Did he?” One brow rose in suspicion.
“Yeah.”
“What’d you say?”
“I told him no thanks and trashed his card without looking at it. His car, or SUV, or whatever wasn’t running right so I took a look at it and he gave me three hundred dollars, though.”
“Quite the tip,” she muttered, and her pen went scratch, scratch, scratch.
My fingers followed a similar movement on my jeans, dying to snatch that notebook out of her hands.
“Then his son came in. He came by to talk, same as his dad. I don’t know how to explain it.” Or how to explain Hudson. He was too much a part of the reason why I couldn’t sleep last night. I was too wound up from everything that happened after him and too afraid to go see if any desserts survived their crash. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him.
When the sun came up, that I was still thinking of Hudson made me more scared than Manny.
I made a face that pulled at the gash on my cheek and cringed. Fixing my ponytail I’d thrown up haphazardly, I shrugged. “Anyway, he just said his dad wanted to help or whatever and gave me their card again. And then he hunted me down on campus.”
“He followed you?”
“Maybe? I don’t know. Again, they seem nice almost. But I don’t know if I can trust that.” I picked at a patch of fraying denim on my thigh. When Nancy didn’t ask any more questions, and wasn’t writing anything, I met her gaze. “Do you know who David Valentine is?”
“Valor Holdings, CEO? Sure, everyone in Des Moines has heard of him…” Her voice trailed off and those brows rose again. “Is that who comes into your diner?”