If Hudson could look at me and see the girl I should have been and not the girl I was… was it truly possible others could as well?
21
Lilly
He’d ordered food from the local seafood restaurant, Splash! After we toasted, he guided me to my seat at the kitchen table which not only backed me up to the kitchen, but gave me a view of the city. His penthouse apartment was lavish and modernly decorated. The furniture wasn’t the inexpensive sets as in my apartment, probably purchased at low-end stores for temporary use, but was high quality. Dark woods and tan leather couches highlighted the brick walls. The navy blue accents gave everything a masculine vibe. While his apartment was sparsely decorated, the built-in bookshelves next to the gas fireplace holding no personal photographs, it was still warm and welcoming.
He plated our food, admitting, “I can do many things well, but cooking isn’t near the top of that list, so I ordered out.”
I clasped my hands together and silently encouraged myself not to screw this night up.
He’d called me beautiful.
He told me men should make effort when taking me on a date.
While he didn’t exactly act like this was a date, he gave me hints—perhaps to my own naivety—he considered this one.
I gasped as he slid my plate in front of me, taking the seat just around the corner from me as his.
“Please tell me you’re not allergic to shellfish.”
“No.” I grinned at him, eyes misty from all the emotions of the evening and his care and chivalry. “Lobster… it’s one of my favorites and it’s been so long.”
On Josh and I’s birthdays, some of the few days of the year when my family would act like we all liked each other, our parents would take us to one of the ritziest restaurants in Chicago. We’d have dinner in a private room, walled off by glass, so every other customer could watch us, trying to figure out what made my family so important.
Lobster and a filet dinner.
I ordered it every time we went, loving the soft and sweet taste of lobster.
“It’s one of mine, too.”
“You didn’t have to go through all of this effort for me.”
It was bringing back too many memories, the few good ones I had. To hide them, I glanced down, placed the cloth napkin on my lap and took my time smoothing out wrinkles.
“You seem upset,” Hudson said.
I shook my head, still perfecting the already smoothed out napkin before setting my hands back to the table. “No. This is lovely and perfect and so much better than a loud restaurant. It’s just reminding me of things… people… who are hard to think of.”
Hudson reached over, placed his warm hand over mine. A delightful shiver traveled up my arm and straight to my chest. He gave me a quick squeeze and when I managed to lift my head to meet his gaze, there was no pity.
Compassion and understanding, but no pity.
I swallowed a heavy ball of emotions. “Thank you again, for this.”
“You can thank me by eating.” He pointed with the knife in his other hand toward my still untouched plate. “Before I eat yours for you.”
I chuckled and shook my head. He removed his hand from mine, and yet as soon as his touch was gone, so was the comfort it brought.
It made no sense, this attraction I had to Hudson and yet I’d learned long ago we didn’t always get what we wanted, or what made sense… or even what was honest and truthful.
Basking in the way he made me feel, I did as I was told.
“Where did you go to college?” I asked, trying to find any sort of normal conversation. His apartment didn’t give me any hints of the man he was although I knew enough.
He was good.
Too good for me, but that didn’t stop me from beginning to dream it wasn’t true.
“I went to the University of Iowa, in Iowa City.”
“Did you ever want to leave here? Go somewhere else further away?” I couldn’t wait for it. Growing up in Josh’s footsteps hadn’t always been easy. But he’d stayed so close to home for football, and until I killed him, his shadow was difficult to avoid or step out of.
I pushed away the thought and took a bite of my lobster.
Oh God. So good. It took effort not to let out a moan of pleasure as I bit into the succulent meal.
“Never. Two hours was far enough away from me. Besides, I had a scholarship and it made sense to go.”
“Academics or sports?”
“Baseball.” He grinned, that smile of a man who’d been a boy with the world at his fingertips.
“I guessed that,” I admitted, and quickly glanced down at my plate. Way to go, Lilly. Now you sound a lovestruck fool.
“You did?”
“Yes. The first time you came into the diner, I assumed you were an athlete.”
“Because of my stunning physique?” Hudson sat up straight in his chair, puffing out his chest, smirking at me with that twisted grin I was beginning to like so much.
Stunning physique, indeed.
“No,” I deadpanned. “It was your cocky arrogance that clued me in.”
“Hmmm.” He sliced off a piece of steak and brought it to his mouth. Winking, he replied, “I’m just glad to know you thought of me.” He slid the steak off his fork, somehow managing to grin while he ate and we went back to our meals.
Where we talked more Valor Holdings, what they do around the city and some of the charities they provide substantial donations for. He talked to me about college, life there, the friends he made and even Brandon—my soon-to-be new boss.
“You’ve known him a long time.” My stomach was full of delicious food and bubbly champagne. Even if it was fake champagne, I enjoyed it. This whole celebration of a night that was completely unnecessary but done for me was more than anyone had ever done for me.
He hesitated, making my spine straighten.
“What is it?”
“I’ve known Brandon a long time.” He sighed and set down his silverware, resting his forearms on the edge of the table. “He’s my brother.”
“Brandon? He looks nothing like you!”
Where Hudson was dark and muscled with such a seriousness to him, Brandon was All-American good looks and after he stopped being so jittery during our interview, he came across as more playful.
“Brandon joined our family when he was thirteen.”
“Was he one of the foster kids?”
“Yeah, and the rest isn’t really my story to share. And I’m sorry I keep saying that to you because it feels like I say it a lot, but his privacy is his as is his past and I value him too much to spill it before he will.”
“Of course.” I imagined myself at thirteen in seventh grade, where all I cared about was learning how to do makeup right and clothes and watching Josh play football as a sophomore on the varsity team. “Please. Don’t tell me.”
“I will say, he’s my brother. Legally. We don’t always hide that, but he also doesn’t have our name. He was one of our foster kids and he stayed. When it came close to time for him to age out, Mom and Dad talked to him because they didn’t want him to feel alone, and he agreed.”
He took a sip of faux champagne with fingers tense on the thin stem it was a wonder it didn’t snap in two. He set down the glass and dropped his head, heaving out a heavy sigh.