“Yeah, I do.” She turned and headed towards the door. “By the way, my doctor’s appointment went fine in case you’re wondering,” she spoke with a serious attitude.
“Jenna—”
She walked out and shut the door. Leaning back in my chair, I let out a sigh.
Jenna
“He wanted to go to ‘dinner’ and that also meant sex afterwards. As much as I wanted sex, I wanted to record my podcast more. Plus, he pissed me off by not having time to go to my doctor’s appointment with me when I knew for a fact he didn’t have any meetings scheduled. His promise to be there for me had faltered. But when said ‘he’d always be there for me’ what exactly did he mean? Perhaps it was my fault for not asking him to break that statement down detail by detail. Maybe doctor’s appointments weren’t included in the ‘I’ll always be there for you’ statement. But dammit, is it too much to ask to go to a damn appointment? He’d already missed the ultrasound appointment when he was out in the world finding himself. These rollercoaster rides of emotions and hormones is exhausting. I’m a very strong and independent woman, but sometimes even the strongest have moments when they feel depleted, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you weak or change who you are as a person. It only makes you human. We may think we’re alone in our pregnancy, but we’re really not. We have this beautiful baby growing inside that is with us 24/7. Talk to your baby. Tell him or her good morning when you wake up and tell him or her goodnight before you go to sleep. But most importantly, have little chats throughout the day. So you see, we’re not alone, and when we try to put our happiness into the hands of others either out of insecurity or fear, we are the only ones who suffer and fall victim to the pain when things don’t turn out exactly how we want them to or expect they would. It’s funny if you really think about it. The moment a woman decides to go through with an unplanned pregnancy, it gives the father a free pass to bolt. Remember, they aren’t men. They’re scared little boys who themselves have to grow up first, regardless of their age. One child to raise is enough. And as scary and tough as it sounds, just remember, we women were made to do this, and we should feel honored and proud to have been given such a task.”
I stopped the recording and uploaded the file. I hadn’t checked my first podcast stats since early afternoon before my doctor’s appointment, so I decided to check again before I shut my laptop down for the night. I had a total of two thousand fifty downloads and over a thousand comments.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Closing the door to the second bedroom where I had my podcast equipment set up, I looked out the peephole and saw it was Lucas.
“Hey.” I opened the door.
“Hey. Can we talk?”
“Sure. Come on in. Drink?” I asked him as I headed to the kitchen.
“Thanks, but no. I’m good.”
“Okay. What’s up?” I asked as I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
“You seemed pissed off that I didn’t go with you to your doctor’s appointment.”
“To be honest, I was.”
“Why? Why would you be mad over something so insignificant as that? What would me being there with you accomplish when I could have been at the office doing more important things like work and making the company money.”
Oh, hell no. OH, HELL NO. I took a moment to calm down before I threw my water bottle at him.
“Can you please define exactly what you meant when you said that you’d always be here for me?”
“What do you mean?” He shook his head.
“I need to know what that statement covers. Because I guess going to doctor’s appointments isn’t part of it.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he snapped.
“Nothing is wrong with me,” I spoke in a calm voice. “I just need you to clarify what falls under the ‘I’ll always be here for you’ category.”
“If you need me for anything, Jenna.”
“Ah.” I held my finger up. “For being so smart, I can be really dumb sometimes. The only thing that falls under that category is sex.”
“That is not true!” His voice was stern as he pointed his finger at me.
“Well, I needed you there with me today!”
“For what?!” He held out his arms to the side.
“You know what? You are such a fucking typical guy.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? You know what, Jenna. I don’t need this right now. I have a lot on my mind, especially with my father coming back.”
“You know what, Lucas, I don’t need this either. I don’t need the stress of you deciding when you want to be involved and when you don’t. Just leave.”
“Trust me. I am.” He turned and headed towards the door.
“Good!” I shouted.
“You’re crazy.” He looked at me and shook his finger before walking out the door.
“Time to make a plan, little one,” I said as I looked down and placed my hands on my belly.
After I changed into my nightshirt, I climbed into bed, put my belly buds on my tummy and played some Zen music for her. After hearing Lucas and I get into an argument, she needed some soothing and so did I.
“Alexa, play my Zen playlist.”
I slowly closed my eyes and let the tension melt from my body and mind. Tomorrow was my first prenatal yoga class, and I couldn’t wait. I probably should have started classes earlier in my pregnancy, but I couldn’t because of my broken foot.
Chapter 25
Lucas
I went back up to my apartment and immediately poured myself a drink. Taking it out on the terrace, I leaned against the railing and stared out at the brightly lit city. For her to get so upset about me not going to her doctor’s appointment was absolutely ridiculous. I didn’t need this shit from her. I had enough going on with my father coming back to town. I cared for her and the last thing I wanted to do was upset her, but she really pissed me off by saying what she did. We both just needed tonight to cool off and come tomorrow morning, things would be good again between us.
The next morning, I climbed in the car and looked at Thaddeus.
“Where’s Jenna?”
“She told me she would be getting herself to the office from now on. Am I to assume something happened between the two of you?”
“She’s just being childish.” I sighed.
Before going to my office, I stopped by Jenna’s and she wasn’t there, so I walked into the break room where I found her making a cup of tea.
“No coffee this morning?” I asked as I stood behind her.
“You’re being disrespectful of my personal space. Remember what happened the last time you did that? I would hate for that to happen again since I’m holding a cup of hot tea this time.”
I took a few steps back.
“Better?”
“Much.” She walked out of the break room and I followed her. “You’re still mad at me for yesterday?”
“No, Lucas,” she spoke as she set her cup down on her desk.
“Obviously you are.”