I stare into space until the sun rises before I finally close my eyes. And when they do close, I again dream of coming home that day and finding my mother dead on the kitchen floor because Max beat her to death.
35
Violet
My eyes open and I’m greeted with sunshine. It’s a bright day and I don’t have a hangover. Shockingly.
As I get up, a reel of last night begins to play in my brain and as I sit down on the toilet, a rush of cold hits my chest.
Shaking my butt as he watched. Singing a dirty song to him. Almost kissing him in the car. Flirting shamelessly. And then falling apart like a pathetic, drunk loser.
I cover my face; it’s hot with shame. Mortification doesn’t begin to describe how I feel.
I take a long shower and plead with the hot water to wash the indignity away.
***
When I timidly emerge from the bedroom dressed in jeggings, fluffy socks, and a sweater without makeup, my hair still damp, I’m praying my bag and phone are in this apartment somewhere because they’re not in Killian’s guest room.
And there’s activity out here. It’s actually buzzing with activity. I spot Killian’s Genesis manager, Alana, in the kitchen with two little boys and there are two other guys setting up a new television on the wall. One guy has curly brown hair, one blond.
I see no sign of Killian.
“Good morning, Violet, how are you?” Alana greets, while wiping the face of one of the little boys. One of the guys at the TV turns his head and smiles at me. Oh. Will is the curly-haired guy, Killian’s brother - who was there to rescue me from the bathtub incident with Ray.
He waves.
The other guy’s head turns, too, and he takes me in.
“This is Nathan, and this is Ash,” Alana gestures to her kids. One looks about eight or nine, the other around four or five, I think. “This is Miss Violet.”
“Are you Killian’s new girlfriend?” the smaller one, Ash, asks.
The other one waves and then his eyes go back to the Nintendo Switch he’s playing with while he shovels food into his mouth.
“Uh, no. But, um, hi. How old are you?” I see my phone and purse there on the counter.
Relief. Sweet relief.
“I’m five!”
“Oh wow. What have you got there? Pancakes?”
Now, coffee.
I lift my phone and glance at the screen. It’s filled with notifications. I stuff it into the kangaroo pocket of my hooded sweater and move to the cabinet to get a mug out while I look over my shoulder to continue the conversation with Alana’s son.
“Pancakes, yup. Killian maked us some. We loo-sually have cereal. He keeps our favorite Lucky Charms that Mom never buys us because she says it’s junk, but someone ated most of it.”
Oh darn. I gasp and look at Alana with horror and then look back to little Ash.
“That might have been me. Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!”
“That’s okay,” the little guy tells me. “He put chocolatey chunks in the pancakes. And bananas. That was even better than Lucky Charms.”
“We’re out of here, actually. I just had to drop some stuff off and oversee the delivery of that monstrosity,” Alana says.
“It’s a big, big TV,” Nathan says. “We’re gonna come over and play video games on it one day, Killian says.”
“Oh, that sounds fun,” I say.
“His ‘nother one got broken. Did you break it?” Ash asks.
I jolt with surprise. “It got broken?”
“Smashed up,” the older kid says.
My eyes go big.
Alana is watching me with a careful expression that I take as scrutiny. I give her a confused look and then I reach into the fridge for some creamer and Killian materializes with a handful of cables in his hand as well as a small toolbox. He gives me a once-over and then approaches.
He’s wearing a fitted Minnesota Vikings long-sleeve t-shirt that shows off his big muscles. The sleeves are pushed up, showing me some corded forearm porn. He’s got on grey sweatpants that are the epitome of the best grey sweatpants memes and I have trouble not looking at his… er… package.
Oh Lordy. My belly wobbles.
“How you feeling today?” he asks, looking directly into my eyes, straight into my soul.
“Fine,” I whisper, my throat hoarse. “I’m sorry.”
He flinches but doesn’t respond to that. Instead, he says, “The noise wake you?”
I shake my head. “Didn’t hear a thing.”
He smiles.
“What happened to your TV?” I ask.
“Kill,” the blond guy calls over. “Gimme that Phillips? Hey pretty lady,” the guy says with a big smile. “I’m Dex.”
I wave at the attractive blond guy.
“Yep. Excuse me,” Killian says and heads that way.
“I’ll just get these washed and head out. We’re late for an appointment,” Alana says.
“Nice to meet you, Dex.” I turn to Alana. “I’ll take care of the dishes.”
“Ah, you’re an angel. Thank you.”
“Bye!” Ash says, throwing his little arms around my legs and hugging me before running to the door.
“See ya.” Nathan waves.
I wave as they head out and then I take the dishes to the sink and turn the water on. I lean over and grab my coffee and take a sip.
My phone rings so I grab it. It’s my little brother. He never calls me. My heart sinks. My parents are at their timeshare.
“Cody? What’s wrong?” I greet.
Killian looks over his shoulder at me.
36
Killian
Violet’s eyes go from concerned to panic as she listens.
“Oh no. No. Which hospital? I’m on my way.”
“What’s wrong?” I erase the space between us, because she looks pale.
I pull her to me, and she braces herself by grasping my forearms.
“My parents are in Florida, my brother’s staying with my grandfather and Grampa collapsed. The ambulance came, rushed him to the hospital.”
“I’ll take you,” I say.
I shoot a look over my shoulder at Will and he nods.
“We got this, Kill. Thinkin’ good thoughts for your gramps, Violet.”
“Th-thanks,” she mutters, looking freaked.
“I’ll change. Two minutes, baby,” I tell her and move quickly to my room; she’s behind me, heading to her own.
***
“This is Killian. Killian, my brother, Cody.”
I shake his hand. He’s got a cold look on his face as he assesses me. He’s thinking, who the fuck are you?
He’s got an expression that makes me imagine he didn’t like Ray and is sick of bullshit for his sister. Being a teenager, the kid probably feels he can’t do much.
It was a short drive to the hospital and the whole way, she was texting with family members while babbling about how she hadn’t seen her grandfather in two months, how she knew she should visit more often. I could see guilt eating her alive there in the passenger seat.
“He’s in good hands, baby. Don’t stress until you know more.”