“Sorry,” he mutters, releasing me.
I sway unsteadily.
He turns and sort of stumbles out of the room.
I stand there, heart galloping in my chest.
He was driven to protect me again. He was frantic in his search in the blankets for me.
Probably because of how amped things were tonight. Probably because Ray looked at me with that death-stare that has always chilled me to the bone.
And Killian made me feel safe. This has my heart in my throat.
Before I can calculate what I’m doing, I’m padding barefoot down the hall to his bedroom.
I can’t think over the sound of my thundering pulse, and this might be a good thing, because my brain would surely talk me out of what I’m about to do.
As I get to the bench at the foot of his bed, he jackknifes to sitting.
“What’s wrong?” he demands.
46
Killian
“What are you doing here?” I fire another question at her after she doesn’t answer my first one.
“I’m not sure,” she says, timidly and breathlessly.
My blinds are open, and it means enough light comes in to make out she’s wearing next to nothing. A short nightgown with spaghetti straps. With cleavage. And it clings.
I can’t tear my eyes off her body in the moonlight. And she’s standing there visibly trembling. I see the hem of her nightgown shaking.
“Unless you want me all over you, you better go back to your bed. Now,” I warn.
She stands up straighter. Have I shocked her? Good. Because I’m serious. Serious as a god damned heart attack.
“Killian,” she breathes in a way that does her no favors because I want her to say it again like that, right into my mouth while I’m burying myself inside her.
“All over you, Violet,” I warn gruffly. “My hands, my mouth, my cock – which is rock.” I grind out the rest, “Fucking. Hard. I’ve been holding myself back, I’m at the end of my chain, baby, and yet you’re in arms reach so you’re about to get it if you don’t go.”
“I don’t know how to feel,” she breathes and clasps hair at both sides of her head. She shifts from one foot to the other, but doesn’t move farther away.
“Then go. Because looking at you here at the foot of my bed, in what you’re wearing? I know how I feel.” I twist sideways to reach the bedside lamp and turn it on.
I level her with a serious gaze as I get to take in more of her.
“You’re a fucking goddess,” I tell her.
She sucks on the side of that delicious-looking bottom lip in contemplation as pink stains her cheeks.
The pale pink, nearly sheer silky nightgown she has on… I can’t tear my eyes off her. She’s breathtaking.
Her nipples are erect, poking at the fabric.
“Are you staying or going?” I demand.
She frowns.
“Violet,” I growl. “I’m warning you. Go right now or you’re in this bed and it might not go gentle.”
She plants both hands on her hips. “That’s not a real nice way to ask a girl to spend the night in your bed.”
I whistle low, feeling my temperature rise at that sass. I just might rip that little pink nightgown up and slap her ass.
“You don’t walk away right now; you’re not goin’ anywhere. You don’t walk away and go back to your room, you’re gonna be in this bed and you’re getting fucked. Fucked like you’ve never been fucked. And I don’t just mean once. It might not ever stop.”
47
Violet
I need to swallow, but holy crap – I can’t. Because my throat is like a desert right now. Why is that so sexy? He looks angry. Why am I turned on if he looks angry? He looks like he wants to devour me. And I’ve never been more aroused.
If this were Ray acting like this, I’d be shaking, cowering. I’m not afraid, though.
I stand, like a deer caught in headlights for a second before I manage, “That was blunt.”
“And with that said, are you still not sure how to feel?” he asks, voice gentler. A lot gentler. His eyes haven’t lost their edge though.
I swallow hard. “I think I know how I’m feeling.”
He says nothing for a minute, neither do I.
Finally, he asks “And?” Now he looks like his patience is hanging on by a thread. Half a thread.
“And I think I’m frozen in shock. I’ve got a few weeks of holding back emotion too. With you… with all this crazy stuff happening and you’ve made me feel… well… let’s just say I’ve been holding back hard. I’ve been so afraid to let myself really feel what I’m feeling; I’m not sure I know how to let go of that.”
“Two weeks?” he bites off, “Try three years.”
“Huh?”
He crawls down to the bottom of the bed and stays on his knees, facing me. Close. Not more than a few inches between us.
And I feel a magnetic pull. I sway.
“Wanted you from that first night, three years ago.”
I flinch.
“Saw you on that dance floor, Violet. I probably saw you first, before he did, and something hit me right in the fucking chest.”
I draw in a sharp breath. “You left.”
“I left.”
“Why?”
Now, he flinches. His face… it looks like he’s in physical pain and this leaves my chest feeling hollow.
“Do you want me too, Violet?” he asks.
Emotion overpowers me to the point I feel my knees buckle as I nod, and then I’m practically floating through the air as he lifts me up and puts me on my back on his bed.
And then he is on me. His lips crash into mine and it’s the most beautiful collision I can imagine.
In his big, warm bed. Under the heat of him.
“Violet,” he rasps.
I swallow, overwhelmed at how right this feels, how beautiful. My fingers weave into his hair at both sides of his head; my whole body is out in goosebumps.
“To get this on the table right here, right now,” he adds, “I don’t just want you for tonight.” He speaks directly against my parted lips. My chest rises and falls rapidly. “I mean going forward.”
“That’s… fast,” I say, “I just got single and it’s probably not a good idea to-”
“You’ve been outta love for a year. Seems to me you’ve been single long enough.”
He kind of has a point.
“But I don’t want you to be a rebound, and –”
“Calling me a rebound suggests I’m not light years ahead of him in terms of appeal and baby, I’m kinda insulted.”
I laugh. “When you put it that way…”
I’m about to say something else, but then his lips are on mine. He kisses with hunger. He tastes me like he has been waiting three years for this moment, me under him, in his bed.
I soak it all in as he expertly ravishes my mouth, sounds coming from him that are so sexy I want to tattoo everything about this moment on my brain.
This feels important. This feels like a beginning. It feels like I’ve been waiting a lot longer than two weeks for it, too.