And after spending most of my day in bed snoozing then waking up and receiving two outstanding orgasms, I should’ve been relaxed. But it was more.
It was us just being.
Just being together.
Just being quiet.
This lasted a long time.
Then I took a heaving breath. I promised Luke I’d tell him about my morning, and I didn’t want him to have to prompt the conversation.
“Gordy ambushed me in the parking lot,” I started.
Luke’s hand on my hip twitched and I knew I was doing the right thing.
“It wasn’t pretty,” I admitted on a sigh. “It started off with me being defensive and pushing him away. He called me selfish then laid out the rest. He’s done with me holding myself separate, the rest of the guys are done with that, too, and they were all waiting for me to give them an opening so they could set me straight. Gordy said me bringing you around was what they’d been waiting for. I was pissed, I was freaked out, I felt like I was backed into a corner, and I wanted to draw up my armor and be a bitch, but I couldn’t find it. And that made me madder. Not at Gordy but at you. Before I met you, I was quick to pull away. As much as I felt guilty after, it was easy to be nasty. To say mean things and make people leave. But I couldn’t do it. Then I stopped being pissed and started listening to what Gordy was saying and started feeling bad. Like, horrible how I’d held myself apart. Then I told him about my nightmares.”
I stopped to take a breath and that was when I noticed Luke had gone solid.
“I wasn’t really mad at you,” I rushed out. “It was just in the moment, when I couldn’t make myself tell my friend to fuck off, I had to blame someone. Then I just started willy-nilly blurting personal shit out and I’d never, ever done that before. Not before you. Then it was almost like a relief when I told him about the dreams. Unfortunately, my relief was short-lived when we sat down at breakfast and Gordy was so mad at me for not talking to the team about what I was going through that I thought his head was going to pop off.”
I stopped talking again and waited for Luke to say something and when he didn’t, I rambled on.
“He’s had dreams before, too. So have the others. And they talk about it. I didn’t know that and it’s my fault I didn’t because I’m a shitty teammate. They’ve all been there for each other and I’ve never been there for a single one of them. You were right, they are my friends. I’ve just been too stupid to see it. And before I forget I wanted to tell you that the last three nights we’ve shared a bed I haven’t dreamed about Penelope. And I need to get in contact with Liberty and apologize. I was a bitch to her when she was trying to be nice to me.”
I quieted and waited but Luke lay there still as could be and didn’t utter a word. My nerves were already frazzled, and his silence was scaring me.
“I mean, I won’t call her if you don’t want me to. But she offered if I needed someone to talk to I could reach out. That was really cool of her, especially after I was such a bitch. I don’t think I need to talk about my dreams with her. I have Gordy and the guys, they were there. They saw it so they know. And if I need someone else, I know I can talk to you about it.”
I got no more out.
Luke rolled us until he was on top of me, his hands on my cheeks holding my head still and holding my eyes hostage.
God, he was beautiful.
Fierce.
Strong.
Ferocious.
“You got me,” he confirmed. “But Liberty already made it clear to Drake she was gonna make contact. My guess is she’ll do that soon. And you need to know when she comes to you, she’ll be bringing reinforcements. Liberty’s tight with her family like you’re tight with your brothers. Where one goes, the others follow. They’re like a pack of hyenas. Vicious when one of them is threatened and they’ll circle around you until they know you’re sorted.”
That sounded scary.
But I didn’t tell Luke that.
“Okay.”
“I’m glad you had a talk with Gordy. Next up is your brothers.”
That sounded terrifying.
But I didn’t tell him that either.
“I know.”
“Proud of you, Shiloh.”
“What?”
“So fucking proud, baby. I know that took a lot out of you and you still did it. My girl’s tough as hell.”
I wanted to blink, but I didn’t want to miss a moment of the way Luke was staring at me. So I forced my eyes to stay open.
“You’re not mad that I was irrationally mad at you and blaming you in my head?”
“No.”
“I was really mad at you, Luke. I was thinking that you ruined me. That you vanquished Killer Frost and I needed her so damn bad to make Gordy shut up and go away. But she’s gone.”
Lord, what was wrong with me? Why was I trying to convince Luke he should be mad at me?
“I bet you were cursing my name. Pissed as shit you couldn’t find it in you to turn Gordy away. Told you I was gonna make that stop. Told you I was digging it out. This is a good start. We’ll build from here.”
Luke did tell me and I never doubted he would do just that.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You’re welcome, Shiloh.”
After he said that I was no longer looking into his beautiful face.
But that was okay, I got his lips on mine and his tongue in my mouth and that was even better.
21
“He’s still in the wind?”
Carter’s question pulled my attention from the whiteboard to Ethan prowling into the conference room.
“Yup.” Ethan flung his big frame into the chair next to his brother.
The fact the chair didn’t buckle under the force of Ethan’s weight was a testament to its manufacturing. Ethan was madder than a motherfucker and I didn’t blame him.
The cops in Montgomery had paid Jeff Shepard a visit. Instead of escorting Shepard to the station, they’d asked him to come in and speak to them. Of course, Shepard agreed then he ran.
That was two weeks ago.
Fourteen days and now the guy was a ghost.
Also, fourteen days of Shiloh in my bed or me in hers.
Two weeks of spending as much time with her as I could, getting to know her. Though, I was finding the getting to know her part wasn’t all that necessary. What you see is what you get with Shiloh. I’m sure she’d disagree but she didn’t hide who she was. From the first argument we’d had she’d laid herself bare. She might not have done it on purpose, but she’d let me in that night, and each day since, she gave me more.
Now, she was opening herself up to her team with Gordy leading that situation. Shiloh thought Gordy was pushing too hard. I disagreed. The man should’ve stepped up years ago. So he was making up for lost time, fully pulling her into the fray, guiding her to understand the true meaning of friendship. Shiloh bitched about this, but she did it in a way that stated plainly she was loving every second.
A week ago, Liberty had done exactly what I’d warned Shiloh she was going to do and reached out asking Shiloh out for coffee. Shiloh went and was met by not only Liberty but the entire women’s brigade. That night, Shiloh was quiet and reflective through dinner. She’d asked me to take a bath with her and after we reenacted our first time in her tub—with a few variants that included me doing a whole lot more touching—Shiloh opened up and told me about her outing. This included Honor, Mercy, Tuesday, Delaney, Quinn, Hadley, and Addy all sharing their stories, and Liberty elaborating on what Shiloh already knew. Surprisingly, it was Addy who broke through. Shiloh didn’t explain why beyond saying Addy “got it” and she was stronger than anyone she’d ever met. I couldn’t deny Adalynn Walker’s strength. Trey was a lucky sonofabitch to have Addy in his corner. The woman would stand by him through thick and thin. I figured that had a lot to do with the Walker loyalty that was ingrained but also because Trey hadn’t faltered when the weight of most of her family came down on him. He stood strong and helped Addy heal from unthinkable hurt. So, maybe I wasn’t all that surprised it was the shy Addy with her quiet strength who touched Shiloh the deepest.