I couldn’t help but start to smile at that. “Oh no, I think you’re right.”
“Do they? Now I don’t even know. Hold on, I’m googling this shit.”
I giggled and put my guitar on the ground next to me, then leaned over to look at Will’s phone. He opened an article and scrolled down the page. “And it’s a no,” he said. “No veins. No blood.”
“Hey, no, they have blood.”
“Yeah, colorless weird fluid. Not the same thing.”
“You can’t go around erasing insect blood because it isn’t the same as yours.”
“Watch me.”
I tipped my head to one side and fiddled with my necklace, a grin still lingering on my lips. Even though I felt a little guilty for laughing, it felt good. So, so good. “Did you come here to check on me?”
“Eh, yes and no. I figured you probably wanted some space, so I wouldn’t have usually come by, but I actually wanted your advice on something.”
Interesting. “Yeah?”
“So, Lara’s always seemed at least a little into Matt. But then apparently she was into Renee. So I’m wondering what’s going on there?”
I mean, it wasn’t exactly what I’d expected. I stuck out my bottom lip and thought about the best response. Lara had told me she liked Matt in confidence, so I didn’t want to give that up. But maybe I could still play Cupid.
Before I could speak, though, Will groaned. “God, I’m such an idiot. Sorry, you must think I’m being ridiculous right now. You have bigger shit going on than who Lara likes.”
Well, kind of. But it was such a nice distraction from all the bigger shit. “No, seriously, it’s fine. She was into Renee, but I’m pretty sure that’s all over. Why do you ask?”
“Because Matt thinks she’s a lesbian.”
Oh. “Nope. She’s bi.”
“Right, I thought she might be,” Will said. “Matt’s had a thing for Lara for ages now, but I think he thinks there’s no point anymore.”
“Oh, I’d say there’s plenty point.”
Will bumped my shoulder. “How would you feel about explaining that to Matt?”
“Me? What, now?”
“Yeah? He’d believe it coming from you. I don’t think they see me as the resident expert on identities, you know?”
On the one hand, I’d been enjoying myself in here. And even more so with Will for company. I’d take sitting in here talking absolute nonsense with him over heading back out to the crowded, noisy cafeteria. Or, at least, I usually would. But a not-so-small part of me really wanted to help Lara out. Because maybe I kind of really liked her now, and maybe I kind of really wanted her to know I’d done something for her.
“All right,” I said, hopping up and holding out a hand. “Let’s do it quick, though. The bell’s about to go off.”
Will took my hand and let me pull him to his feet.
The basketball guys were sitting at their own table today. Without the girls to break them up, it was basically a sea of black-and-white jackets. Suddenly joined by me in my new salmon sweater and tan skinny jeans, here to break up the monochrome. I’d chosen the sweater that morning because it felt like it’d cheer me up to wear something other than black and khaki this week. Did it work? Not … really. No.
“Hey, what’s up, Ollie?” Matt asked. He was giving me an expectant look, though. I guessed Will had told him why he went off to find me. Well, no point beating around the bush. Besides, if I told him what was really up with me, it’d probably make the whole vibe uncomfortable and depressing. So.
“Do you like Lara?” I asked.
A few of the guys snickered and tittered, but Darnell shot them a warning look and they shut right up. Matt shrugged and leaned back in his seat. “Yeah, but it’s whatever. She’s into girls, so, that’s cool, you know?”
“She’s into guys, too.”
He gave me a quizzical look. “I thought she was a lesbian now, though?”
“She’s bisexual. If she’s with a girl that doesn’t make her a lesbian. She’s still bi no matter who she’s dating.”
Matt nodded slowly, and the tiniest, most secret smile crossed his lips. “So, are you saying she might be into me?”
“I’m saying I think checking in with her is probably a good idea. She might be a little pissed that you’ve been giving her the cold shoulder, though, just a heads up.”
Darnell and Matt shared a quick smile. “You’re in, man,” Darnell said, holding up a fist for Matt to bump while the other guys laughed and made catcall noises.
Will watched them with an intense look, his brow furrowed and his lips pressed together in a thin line. I couldn’t read his expression.
“Oh, also?” I said, this time looking right at Darnell. “You need to stop with the back-and-forth stuff. It’s not cool. Either you want to be with Niamh, or you don’t, but don’t pretend you’re just coming over to the table because you had a question about homework.”
Darnell opened his mouth but didn’t manage to spit anything out. Will used his hand like a megaphone around his mouth. “Called out.”
As for me, I was impressed with myself. When did I get so brave?
I guessed the last couple of weeks had changed me. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so terrifying to look stupid in front of a group of guys who, for the most part, didn’t mean much to me. Other than Will, anyway, and I knew he wouldn’t judge me for it. There were worse things that could happen than being a little embarrassed.
And life was too short to play chicken with something as important as the person you loved.
21
“You leave in an hour,” I said.
Will, who had his head resting against my bare chest, tilted his head up to look at me. “Hmm.”
“One hour, Will.”
He made a face and traced a finger along my stomach. Our skin was dry now. If you didn’t know it, you wouldn’t have been able to tell we’d been in the lake thirty minutes earlier.
“Willyou walk me back to mine?” he asked.
“You want me to sneak out of my own house at four in the morning, walk you around the other end of the lake, then sneak back into my house?”
“… Yes?”
“Of course I will. Don’t know why you felt you had to ask.”
It took us longer than it probably should’ve to get dressed— mostly because Will kept rudely interrupting the process to kiss my legs, and stomach, and arms one last time before I covered them back up—but eventually we managed to get ourselves looking kind of presentable. We slipped outside fairly easily, thanks to my silent front door, and then started walking. My legs felt like they belonged to a turtle. Everything weighed so much more than it should’ve.
It had gone too fast. All of this had gone too fast.
“Do you have to go?” I asked.
“Do you?” he shot back.
“Please visit.”
He grabbed onto my wrist and stopped me from going any farther. “Seriously, we need to make a promise now, okay? One of us will make sure we visit the other as soon as we can.”