From: ZJH <[email protected]>
To: EDK<[email protected]>
Subject: Embarrassing moments
One day you’ll have children, and I’ll enjoy listening to them say the most outrageous things. Furthermore, I’ll enjoy watching your face turn red because you’ll want to yell at them, you’ll want to laugh at them, and you can’t even punish them. At least, I only deal with these kids for 45 minutes twice a day, three times a week.
You’ll have your children forever.
By the way, there’s this hot dad that’s been bringing me coffee every morning. I think he wants to ask me out. Today I told him I only drink tea. Maybe that’ll push him away. Grace is the one enjoying the coffee while she reminds me that I can’t date any parents.
I heard about Rocco’s new gig—from him. Someone has to remind him that I’m not a lawyer. He sent me his new contract. He’s leaving two weeks after his wedding. He’ll be traveling until the end of November. Other than that, I didn’t read much. I reminded him to contact Fitz. God knows if he’s going to do it.
By the way, he went to see Kade and asked if he could get him a job with a band. After Kade turned him down, he went to the Deckers. All of them are upset because not once did he apologize for being an asshole while he was high.
You can come to my place tonight. I’ll cook for you. If you’re good, I might invite you to my roof.
Z
From: EDK <[email protected]>
To: ZJH <[email protected]>
Subject: I’ll invite you to my roof
Is that some slang for you’re welcome to my ass?
I’ll be there with condoms in hand.
Love,
Ethan
From: ZJH <[email protected]>
To: EDK<[email protected]>
Subject: My ass is off-limits
Look at you, Killion, making jokes and shit.
You know what I meant. See you at six.
Z
From: EDK <[email protected]>
To: ZJH <[email protected]>
Subject: You were right!
I never thought Rocco would be the first of the five of us to get married or have children. I can’t believe you guessed that he had knocked up Sienna. For the sake of the kid and his wife, I hope he stays clean.
Are we going to go to the “gender reveal?”
Love,
Ethan
P.S. Do you want to connect with me tonight? I kind of miss you. We can always meet in Madrid this weekend.
From: ZJH <[email protected]>
To: EDK<[email protected]>
Subject: I hate to be right
Don’t get me wrong, but this kid could use a better father and mother. I like Sienna a lot, but she’s just as high maintenance as Rocco.
Can you say, “bad idea?”
Why are they having a gender reveal party? You know I don’t like gender stereotyping.
How’s your trip going? I’m glad you gave yourself a few extra days to rest while you’re traveling. The invitation to Madrid is tempting, but I’m busy. Raincheck?
Z
P.S. At what time do you want to connect? You’re several hours ahead. By the way, I kind of miss your face too.
From: EDK <[email protected]>
To: ZJH <[email protected]>
Subject: Excuses
What can you possibly be doing that you can’t travel? It’s summer. You’re off for ninety days. Get your ass to Madrid now!
Let’s connect at 2 pm your time. That’s 11 pm for me. The jet lag is going to kill me when I’m back. I hope you’re ready to take care of me with that lavender tea and your bed.
Love,
Ethan
P.S. We don’t say, “bad idea.” You know what happens when we use that phrase.
From: ZJH <[email protected]>
To: EDK<[email protected]>
Subject: They are a terrible idea!
Rocco texted me asking if I can help him land a better job than Midnight Buzz. He’s concerned that his salary won’t pay for all his expenses. When I told him I was a teacher, he laughed. I thought that would be the end of the conversation, but later he asked if I could lend him some money.
I told him the truth. I live on my teacher salary. If he needs money, he can ask my financial advisors, you and Tucker. I also asked him about Sienna’s old job. Maybe we know someone who can get her something.
Did you know she was his counselor while he was in rehab? They hooked up while he was in recovery. She’s the reason he quit.
Bad idea!
I can see this imploding, and I’ll be staying far away from the epicenter where the earthquake will be happening.
Madrid is too far. I don’t feel like traveling. You’ll be working, and I’m going to be bored. When you decide to take a vacation, we can go together.
Miss you,
Z
From: EDK <[email protected]>
To: ZJH <[email protected]>
Subject: Tomorrow
I should be home around four. The driver is taking me to your house. If you don’t want me there, say it now or be ready to take care of my ass (metaphorically).
Love,
Ethan
From: ZJH <[email protected]>
To: EDK<[email protected]>
Subject: Waiting for you, not your ass.
I’ll be waiting for you. I even went to Luna Harbor for more tea and lavender syrup to prepare lemonade.
Z
P.S. Try to sleep during your flight back home.
From: EDK <[email protected]>
To: ZJH <[email protected]>
Subject: Entertaining
I don’t know how I survived my meetings before your emails. I miss the funny ones that have the most outrageous things the children in your class say.
Sienna is cool. The way I see it, she’s going to need us. Her parents seem to be absent. Her brother lives in Singapore with his husband. Her sister lives in Baker’s Creek. Patrick is all she has, which means we are all she has. I don’t know how this will play out, but maybe he has a sponsor and goes to meetings like you.
I can only promise that we’ll be ready for the earthquake. We’ll be far enough so it won’t touch you, but close enough to help if they need it.
Love,
Ethan
From: ZJH <[email protected]>
To: EDK <[email protected]