“Mom, I wasn’t expecting you today,” I say, instead of asking, why don’t you use the phone? I’m a grown man.
“I was visiting your dad, and I thought, why not just go and talk to him—in person,” she continues. “You should read Hannah’s articles. She’s been very vocal about the need for human contact. She encourages to go back to connecting with your loved ones in an offline environment.”
“Sure, I’ll try to read them the next time…” I have insomnia and no woman to fuck.
This right here is why I hate working for my parents. They don’t understand the meaning of boundaries. They come in and out of my office as they please.
“So, what brings you to this side of the building?”
“Winter’s birthday is coming up, and I want to make sure you’ll be there.”
I smile and look at the portrait of my family. Winter is the baby of the family. Well, not a baby, since she’s about to turn thirteen. Fuck, where did the time go? It feels like it was just yesterday when I had to help Mom during childbirth—at home.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be there,” I say and stare at her because I can sense that there’s so much more she wants to say to me. “Now, can you please tell me what the real reason is for why you’re here?”
“Tristan is worried about you.”
I press my lips together and stare at her.
She waves her hand. “Yes, you’re an adult and … look, you seem a little lost and you’ve been avoiding us lately. No matter what you say, you’re still our kid.”
“Thirty,” I remind her, not adding, you relinquished your parental rights thirty years ago. You have no fucking right to treat me the same way you do your other five children.
Why do I stop?
Because we don’t discuss our situation. The fact that she gave me up for adoption the day I was born. There’s this unspoken agreement between us to forget our past. It’s pretty simple—she was a teenager, and she didn’t want me. Apparently, there’s more to the story than being an addict without any family support. Some things they assume I won’t understand, and others are better not being told.
Listen, I understand to some extent. She had choices, like having an open adoption where I could see her. But she chose to be selfish, and she gave me up—forever.
Not being able to talk about the big gorilla between us weighs on me. It strains our relationship to the point that I can’t get as close to her as I should. To this day, I’m not even sure if I’m enough for her—or for anyone.
She was supposed to protect me, to love me, to be the one person who would be there for me no matter what.
Still, here she is, criticizing every step I take. She found a new life. She’s no longer that broken addict she was back when I came into her life. She has a new family, and as much as she insists that I’m a part of it, I never feel good enough to belong.
“What do you want me to say?” I ask, because I have a ton of work and Cancun is waiting for me.
“It’s not about saying, but doing, Tucker. You and your friends keep partying the same way you did ten years ago. They…” She exhales loudly and purses her lips.
“You never liked them.”
“I do, but you don’t want to see what we do. Zeke and Rocco need more help than you can give them. My worry isn’t about their influence but what’s going to happen to you when they hit rock bottom.”
“They won’t,” I assure her.
“Stop lying to yourself, Tucker. If you love them, do them a favor and stop protecting them.”
“You have no idea what it is to have no one in the world.” For once I verbalize my thoughts out loud.
She chuckles. “I was on my own for a long time. For years, my acting jobs were what supported my family. You can’t tell me I don’t know what they’re going through because I knew people like them—I was like them.”
“I’m sure you made a lot of mistakes during your twenties.”
“No, I stopped at seventeen. Once I learned about you, I worked hard to change my life. I worked hard to become a better person. One who you’d be proud of calling mom, even if that never happened. I marked the days I’d been clean—fighting my demons for you. I’m not saying turn your back on them, but you have to let them be on their own.”
Maybe I should be on my own and away from this overbearing family.
“We’ll have to agree to disagree,” I say, calming myself before I say something I’ll regret.
She swallows hard and nods. “I hope one day you’ll forgive me for giving you up. It was for the best,” she says and leaves.
She can keep saying that to absolve herself from guilt, but was it really for the best?
Gabe & Chris Unlike Any Other
Tucker & Sage Us After You
Alex & Hannah Almost Perfect
Beacon & Grace Call You Mine
Kaden & Sadie My One Regret
Matt, Tristan, & Thea Uncut
Jacob & Pria Uncharted
Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for reading Pieces of Us & Somehow Finding Us.
If you’re new to me, I hope this is the first of many stories we share.
I love everything I write, but there are times that I write something that becomes super special to me. I call this duet my passion project of 2021.
I’ve been waiting for Ethan’s story since 2016 when I first wrote his character as part of the Decker family. I knew most of his pain, his beautiful flaws, and his way of dealing with his past.
It took me several years to find just the right person to be with him. Almost about the time it took me to realize that Tucker and Hannah weren’t a good match and the Sinners of Seattle were born. I was trying to push them in different directions but I kept them true to their voice.
I hope you enjoyed this duet as much as I enjoyed writing. One last thing, if you loved Pieces of Us and Somehow Finding Us as much as I do, please leave a review on your favorite retailer and on Bookbub. Also, please spread the word about it among your friends.
Sending all my love,
Claudia xoxo
Acknowledgments
There are two things that are super hard for me when I write a book, making sure that I don’t forget anyone because it’s always important to be grateful to those who hold my hand while I write my stories and publish them.
The second thing is blurbs. Which brings me to thank you to Megan Linski and Katie McGee for helping me with titles and blurbs.
Thank you so much to Kristi. My BFFL, editor, shoulder to cry, and my person. She’s been not only supportive of my career, an incredible friend, but also works a lot to make sure these books are polished and beautiful.
Hang Le, my longtime cover artist. She’s amazing at making my books look beautiful.
Thank you to Kim Cermak who has been taking over a lot of my tasks slowly. I’m not sure what I’ll do without you, therefor you can never leave me, ha!
Thank you to Nina, Kelley, and the team at Valentine’s PR. They always go above and beyond to make sure that my books are out in the world.
Kaila, Christine & Deb, thank you so much for proofing my books.