"What are you talking about? You guys get along great."
"I don't feel anything for her, okay? There's nothing there."
"You just haven't spent enough time with her."
"Nate, you're not getting it. I don't want to go out with her. End of story."
He cocks his head. "Is there someone else?"
"If there was someone else, you'd know about it. We live in the same damn house."
"Doesn't mean I'd know about it. You're hardly ever home. I don't know where the hell you go. You could be going to see a girl, although if you were, I don't know why you'd try to hide it from me."
"So going back to tonight," I say, stopping Nate before he pushes Brad for answers about where he goes, because the answer is he's spending all his time with me. "Are we going out or not?"
"I vote for yes," Brad says. "Let's go to the brewery. Drink. Play some darts."
"Let's do it some other night," Nate says. "Heather's free tonight and I really want to meet her. And I know Kari wants to see you again."
"Who's Heather?" I ask Nate.
"Kari's friend. Kari said she'd introduce us, but it's not gonna happen if Brad doesn't go out with her. She wants it to be a double date."
Brad sighs. "I'm not going out with Kari again. I don't want her thinking I'm interested when I'm not."
"Then just go as friends," Nate says.
"She sees me as more than that."
She does? What does he mean by that? Did she try to kiss him?
"C'mon," Nate says. "Just do this for me one more time."
"You don't need me to go on dates with you. You can go out with Heather without me."
"But we already said it'd be the four of us. And if you dump Kari, my chances with Heather are over."
Brad's eyes dart to me. I nod, then look away, letting him know he can do this. I don't like it, but we really need Nate to find someone. It's the only way I'll get time alone with Brad this summer.
"Fine, but only tonight," Brad says. "After this, you're on your own. I'm not doing any more of these double dates."
"Great! I'll go call her and let her know." Nate walks off.
"Sorry," Brad says, lowering his voice. "I tried to get out of it."
"I don't think you have a choice. You have to go or Nate will think something's up. He's already wondering where you go when you leave the house."
"I'll tell him I joined a gym. He knows I work out all the time."
"The gyms around here close at ten. He'll know you're not there if you're out late."
"Then I'll figure something else out." He looks over at Nate, who's smiling as he talks on the phone. "Maybe we should just tell him. He's doing a lot better now. He's going on dates. Meeting girls."
"That doesn't mean he's moved on. When he's upset about something, he tries to stay really busy so he doesn't have to think about it."
"Did he call you yesterday?"
"No. And I only got a few texts. But that doesn't mean he's over what happened."
"Hey, guys," Tara says, coming up to us. "Got any plans for tonight?"
"Brad's going out," I tell her. "I'm staying home."
"You want to go out with me?" Tara asks.
"Where?"
"Drinks. Dancing." She smiles. "Maybe bring someone home. There's this new bar on tenth. I hear it's full of single men."
Brad coughs, then clears his throat.
"Sounds fun," I tell her, "but I can't really go out right now. I'm a little short on cash."
"How about you?" she says to Brad. "What are you doing tonight?"
"Nate and I are going out."
"Without Riley?" Tara turns to me. "Is Nate still mad at you?"
Everyone knows what happened with Nate and me. I don't know who told, but the news spread and now everyone thinks Nate and I are fighting.
"He's not mad," I tell her. "He has a date tonight."
"I feel sorry for whoever she is," Tara says.
"Why? What do you mean?"
"When I went out with Nate, all he did was talk about you. It was so annoying. No offense. I don't have anything against you. I just didn't want to talk about you all night."
"Yeah, he shouldn't have done that. I don't think he does anymore." I look at Brad. "Does he?"
"Sometimes. But when it happens, I change the topic."
Tara laughs. "You're going on his dates with him?"
"Only temporarily."
"They've been double dating," I tell her. "But Brad's getting tired of it. I think tonight's the last one."
"Definitely the last one," he says, eyeing me.
TJ blows his whistle. "Everyone to their places."
Tara leaves, and I see Nate heading toward to his chair.
"We should go," I say.
"I'll see you tonight," Brad says before walking off.
Tonight? After his date? This is so messed up. My boyfriend's going on dates, then coming to see me after they're over. We can't keep doing this. We need to find a better way to hide this from Nate.
19
One Month Later
Nate
"So about tomorrow," Heather says. "What time are we going to the party?"
"I don't know. I was thinking maybe we should skip it."
She laughs, assuming I'm kidding. "Nate, this is my friend's engagement party. We're not skipping it."
I've been dating Heather for almost a month now, and although she's a great girl, I can't seem to make myself feel anything for her. I've tried. I take her out all the time. We talk on the phone. We even took a weekend trip to Tulsa to go visit her cousin. Heather's smart, beautiful, and we get along well, but my heart just isn't into it. It belongs to someone else.
I don't like admitting it, even to myself, but it's true. I'm still in love with Riley. It was May when I told her how I felt, and now it's July. I thought by now I'd be over her. I'm good at pretending I am. Everyone thinks I've moved on, including Riley. She keeps telling me how happy she is that I found someone, even though being with Heather means I hardly ever get to go out with Riley anymore.
I miss Riley, and want to see her, but in order to do that, I have to break up with Heather.
"Nate, are you listening?" Heather asks, wrapping her arm around mine as we walk through the park. It's the same park I went to with Riley the night I told her I love her. Just being here again is making me relive that night. Those feelings. Excitement and hope one minute, loss and sadness the next.
Heather stops just before we get to the fountain. It's dusk and the lights just turned on.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Heather says.
"Yeah," I mutter, wishing it was Riley standing next to me. I know I shouldn't be thinking that when I'm on a date with Heather, but the fact that I am tells me I need to end this. I keep putting it off, thinking my feelings will change, but if anything, I'm feeling less for Heather now than when we first started dating. The more I'm with her, the more I miss Riley.