"Let's go sit on the bench," Heather says, pulling on my hand.
"I don't want to stay. Let's keep walking."
"You want to leave? We just got here and the lights just turned on." She tugs on my hand again. "C'mon. Let's just sit for a few minutes."
I reluctantly follow her to the bench, my stomach knotting up like it did when I sat here with Riley. Except back then, my nerves were from the excitement I felt finally being able to tell Riley that I loved her and wanted a future with her. I thought for sure she'd tell me she felt the same way.
Now my nerves are caused by knowing I have to tell Heather it's over. I can't keep this going when I don't feel anything for her.
"Heather, I need to say something."
"Go ahead." She smiles and holds my hand. It reminds me of when I held Riley's hand as we sat on this same exact bench and I poured my heart out to her. When she turned me down, my heart felt like someone had shoved a dagger through it. I was left with a stabbing pain in my chest, a pain I still feel when I think about Riley with someone else. I know it'll happen someday. She'll find a guy and be happy, which is all I've ever wanted for her. I was just hoping she'd be happy with me.
"Nate, what it is?" Heather asks, scooting closer.
"I don't want to say it." I look down at our joined hands. "But I need to."
She sighs. "You're breaking up with me."
I look up and our eyes meet. "Heather, I'm sorry. I really wanted it to work out."
She looks over at the fountain. "There's someone else."
"No. Heather, I'm not cheating on you. I just don't feel the way I should after a month of dating. I wish I did, but I don't."
She looks back at me. "It's that girl, isn't it?"
"What girl?"
"That girl. Riley. The one at the pool. You keep saying she's just a friend, but the way you're always looking at her, I knew." She sniffles. "I knew you were more than friends."
"We're not. I swear. Nothing's going on between Riley and me. She doesn't see me that way."
"But you see her that way."
My head drops. "Yeah. I do."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I thought I could get over her. I thought dating you would...fix things. But it didn't."
"So you were using me. You were using me to get over her."
"No. Heather, that's not what I was doing. I really wanted this to work out. I keep telling myself to forget about Riley, but I can't. I need more time. I'm sorry I didn't figure that out sooner."
She stands up. "You never should've asked me out when you were in love with someone else."
"I know." I get up from the bench. "I'll take you home."
"Forget it," she says, walking off. "I'll just call a friend."
"Heather, wait." I catch up to her, stopping her. "You don't have to call anyone. I'll take you home."
"Just go. I really don't want to be around you right now." She wipes her eyes and keeps walking.
I don't follow her, but instead just watch as she gets her phone out and calls her friend. She continues down the path, then stops, her body trembling as she cries.
"Shit," I mutter, wanting to go comfort her but knowing I shouldn't. I'm the last person she wants to be around right now.
I feel awful, knowing I hurt her. Now I know how Riley felt when she told me she didn't have feelings for me. It was even worse for her because we're such good friends. We hate seeing each other in pain, but it's a million times worse when we're the cause of that pain. But that night, I didn't care that Riley was hurting. I wanted to get back at her for the pain I was feeling from her rejection. It was wrong for me to want that, but my own pain was causing me not to think straight.
Walking back to my car, I get out my phone and call Riley.
"Hey, Nate," a deep voice says.
"Who's this?"
"Brad," he says, laughing. "You didn't know it was me?"
"No. Why are you answering Riley's phone?"
"She went to the bathroom and didn't take her phone. So what's going on? Aren't you on a date?"
"What are you doing with Riley? I thought you were going to the gym tonight."
"I did. Then I got home and was bored, so Riley and I decided to meet up for dinner. We're at the pizza place on Douglas."
Riley told me she was tired and going to bed early tonight. I guess she changed her mind. This happens all the time. Riley says she doesn't have plans, but then ends up going out with Brad. I didn't think those two would get along so well, but I'm glad that they do. If she's hanging out with my cousin, she won't have time to find a boyfriend.
"Care if I join you?" I ask.
"At the restaurant?" He sounds hesitant, like he doesn't want me there. But why wouldn't he? Is it because of Riley? Does she not want me around? Our relationship is still strained, but I want to get us back on track. I don't want to lose her.
"I can head over there now, if that's okay."
"Um, sure, you can join us. Actually, it'll be good. Riley keeps saying she wants to get to know Heather better."
"Heather isn't coming. Just me."
"Did something happen?" he asks, sounding concerned.
"Yeah, we broke up."
"Shit. I'm sorry, man."
"Don't be. It was me. I just couldn't keep it going."
"I thought you liked her."
"I do, but not like I should after dating her for a month."
"That's too bad. I thought you two were a good couple."
"On paper we are, but my heart just wasn't in it."
"Gotta listen to your heart."
"Yeah, so anyway, I'll see ya soon."
I get in my car and drive across town to the restaurant. When I go inside, I find Riley and Brad in a booth near the back.
"Hey." I slide in next to Riley.
She leans over and hugs me. "Sorry it didn't work out."
"It's okay. It wouldn't have worked anyway. We'll both be moving soon for jobs."
"You heard back from the interview?" Riley asks, sounding excited. I know she's just being supportive, but part of me was hoping she'd show at least a little sadness over the thought of me moving away.
"Yeah, but I don't have the job. I still have to do the in-person interview."
"When's that?"
"Not sure yet. Might be next Friday. If so, I'm thinking I'll stay the weekend and check out the city."
"That's great," Brad says. "Sounds like you might be moving to Dallas."
"Yeah, maybe."
Last week I had a phone interview with a company in Dallas. If the in-person interview goes well and I get the job, I could start as early as August. I don't feel ready to leave yet, but there's really nothing keeping me here other than Riley. She's the main reason I don't want to leave. I keep thinking she'll change her mind about me, but I know she won't. Accepting that is harder than I thought it would be.