Even though I wouldn’t admit it in a Neptune year (which is the equivalent of 164.8 years on Earth), I’m going to miss my office this way. It was really, really nice. Incomprehensibly, it actually did stimulate my creativity, but that isn’t worth a nanogram of space dust because I’m driven to rid myself of every memory of that woman. Memories cause feelings and I do not need to be reminded about my feelings for her.
I spend thirty minutes trying to dismantle the desk and console table. I’m standing up, stretching out my back when there’s a light knock at the door. “Come in,” I bark.
Alec pokes his head in. “Hey, Ben, I’ve got my computer running a sequence that’ll take about an hour, so I thought I’d check to see if you needed some help with anything.”
“No, thanks. I’m okay.”
He slides in and shuts the door behind him, completely ignoring my words. “You sure? There’s been an awful lot of banging and clanging coming from in here.”
Throwing my hands in the air, I say, “You’d think this desk was created by the inventor of the Rubik’s Cube. It looks like you’re just supposed to unscrew the legs, but I think you must have to turn some damn security latch first, and I can’t find one.”
“Uh, I don’t think Ernő Rubik made desks, actually,” he says in a quiet voice.
“I know that. I was being sarcastic.” Rolling my eyes, I add, “It’s a very complicated design and, of course, she didn’t leave the instruction manual, so I have no idea how to take the damn thing apart.”
I start to mutter under my breath while I continue my search for a button or screw to remove the legs. “Who doesn’t leave the instruction manual for the user? A sociopath, that’s who.”
Alec shakes his head, a wary expression filling his face. “A sociopath?”
“Exactly,” I say, with a frustrated laugh. “You stayed with Mr. Spock for three days and didn’t poison him once. She was in my apartment for all of one minute and my poor kitty almost exploded.” Throwing my hands in the air, I add, “And she sent me a glitter bomb! Do you know how hard it is to rid your entire home of glitter? It’s worse than having bed bugs. We might as well just burn down the building.” I’m ranting now, really loud too so I’m sure the whole team is hearing every word. “Then she called me a two-timer and a liar on national television? That’s going to do wonders for my career.”
“Not to mention your dating life,” he says with a look of trepidation.
“Crap, I didn’t even think about that, but you’re right. Who’s going to date me now? No nice, normal, intelligent woman is going to have anything to do with me after all the abuse Serafina hurled at me. She made me sound like a real loser.”
While I continue complaining, Alec steps forward, takes one of the legs in one hand and starts to unscrew it.
My shoulders drop. “Are you serious? It just unscrews without a safety latch?”
“Apparently.”
I collapse into my chair and look up at Alec. “What a mess,” I groan.
“It’s not that bad,” Alec says. He’s already taking off the last leg. “We can have your old office setup by muffin time.”
“No, I meant my life. This is why they say don’t fish off the company pier.”
“Who says that?” Alec asks, narrowing his eyes.
“I don’t know. People, I guess.”
“You went fishing at Cape Canaveral?”
“It’s an expression about not engaging in workplace romances …”
“Gotcha. Yeah, that didn’t exactly work out for you,” he tells me.
Thanks for your support, Alec.
My phone rings and I pluck it off the coffee table. My heart is pounding at the thought that it’s Serafina. But it’s not. It’s Gwen. Suddenly I remember what I said about her family on TV. “Crap. I’m afraid my ugly scenes aren’t over for the day.”
“I’ll leave you to it,” Alec says, hightailing it out of my office and closing the door.
“Gwen, I’m so, so sorry,” I say in place of hello.
“I cannot believe you threw me under the bus like that, on live television, no less! What is wrong with you?”
Crap. Angry Gwen is a force to be reckoned with. “Honestly, I completely forgot the cameras were there.”
“How in the hell would someone forget they’re on a stage in front of a live studio audience and that they’re being broadcast across America?!” she yells.
“There’s no excuse, I was just extremely ang—”
“The bit about Dr. Kwak? Are you kidding me? You called my entire family meddling busybodies? And you made me look like a complete liar to all of them. Did you forget we were pretending to be a couple?” She’s full-on raging now and I’m going to do exactly what one should do when they’ve been a total idiot. I’m going to sit here and take it. “And that kiss? Well, my goodness, no wonder I never had a shot because you were already clearly very in love with someone else.”
“To be fair, I wasn’t in love with her when we first met.”
She pauses for a breath, then really lets me have it. “You’re an idiot. Of course you were in love with her. Why else would you sign up for her dating app just to prove her wrong?”
“I know it sounds bad, but—”
“It is bad,” Gwen shouts. “You’re a sicko, you know that? A total sicko. You used me to ruin another woman’s career. Not only that, but my whole family thinks I’m pathetic now.”
“I wasn’t trying to ruin her career; I was trying to save other people a lot of heartache. And when I met you, I really liked you. I honestly do want to have you in my life as a friend.”
“That rocket has already blasted off, buddy,” she growls. “And it’s never coming back to Earth. NEVER. Delete my number because I don’t ever want to hear from you again, you … you sick pig.”
She hangs up on me, leaving me to think about what she said.
I am a sicko.
A sick, science-loving, bad man. No wonder Mr. Spock is the only long-term relationship I’ve ever had. Well, him and my mom, Lita, and Lynda. They’ll always be there for me. I stare around at the chaos that used to be a very nice office, realizing nothing will ever be the same again. I was in love, really in love, for the first time in my pathetic life, but I’ve gone and screwed it up so badly, it’s over forever.
While I want to think I was justified in what I did, that conversation with Gwen really brought the truth home. I did what I did because I wanted to be right. My stupid intellectual pride has really screwed me over this time.
My phone buzzes and I see an incoming text from my mom. Oh, nice. This should make me feel better.
Mom: I thought you should know, Lita, Lynda, and I are all VERY disappointed in you, Ben. We still love you, of course, but we cannot condone or respect what you’ve done. Maybe it’s time you moved home where you’ll have better influences in your life. It seems like those space people are leading you to forget humans have hearts that can be broken.
Et tu, L-Triad?