He bit down on his lip, fighting back a laugh. “I admit I’ve been off my game lately, but give me some credit here, Hannah.”
I smiled. “I guess, I’ll wait to see what you carry out of that store then, before I pass any judgement.”
He tapped the roof of the truck, his face full of that boyish charm that made it so easy for me to fall, my tummy doing a little flip as I went. “With the stakes that high, I’ll need to know what your favorite color is then.”
“Rainbow,” I teased.
Displaying a wide grin, his eyes squinted with mischief. “You’re determined to make this hard on me, aren’t you?”
I laughed. “Maybe. Or maybe I don’t have one.”
His face straightened with a false seriousness. “Everyone has a favorite color, Hannah.”
My lips pressed together, the smile on them impossible to hide. “If that’s true, then what’s yours?”
“Easy. Black.”
“Black? That’s a horrible favorite color.”
“Says the woman who claims she doesn’t have one.”
“All right. Fine”—I bit the inside of my cheek as I contemplated—"Red.”
“Red,” he said the word, rolling it around in his head. “Why am I not surprised?”
“What’s wrong with red?!”
“Nothing at all…just very…fitting. Especially considering my plans for us tonight.” His grin was a permanent fixture on his face as his eyes swept over me.
“Why do you need to know my favorite color anyway?”
“I want to know more than just that, Hannah. There isn’t anything I don’t want to know about you.”
Pushing off the truck, he took a step back. My heart thundered in my chest as I felt the slack in my jaw. I was speechless. And falling. Harder and harder every moment we spent together. He closed the door, then jogged toward the store, disappearing inside.
Minutes later, he was walking out, his hands full with a bag and a six pack of Miller Light. I giggled as he fumbled, nearly dropping one of the cans as it slipped loose of the plastic holder, a silent curse flying from his lips. His eyes caught mine and my defenses melted a little more with his carefree grin.
The cab door opened, and he climbed back inside, dropping his purchases on the rear floorboard.
“Well? What did you get?” I glanced over the seat, trying to get a peek.
“Nope. You have to wait. If all my credibility hinges on those items, you can’t see them until we arrive at the final destination.”
“Oh, come on”—I gave him a playful nudge—“Not even a single item?”
He scratched at the scruff on his jaw. “All right. Fine. One.”
He angled his body, reaching into the back, sifting through the plastic sacks. Pulling out a bag of dark chocolate kisses, he handed them to me with a smirk.
My face strained with a huge smile as I peered down at the bag of foil-wrapped chocolates in my hands. “You remembered my favorite candy.”
The back of his knuckles coasted down from my temple, tucking a piece of fallen hair behind my ear. “I remember every word you’ve ever said to me, Hannah. There’s no way I could forget.”
My smile faded into the moonlight. Right. Every word. Like the three words I’d accidentally said that sent him running.
Clearing his throat and pulling his hand away, he turned over the ignition, then steered the truck back onto the road, headed toward the edge of town, our stark reality thickening the air around us.
Billy slowed the truck, turning left onto an unmarked dirt road lined with a barbed-wire fence that I assumed marked the property boundary. The ride had been quiet since leaving the parking lot of the supermarket. Twisting the silver band on my index finger—the one I wore religiously—my chest tightened. I had to say something. Had to dispose of this heavy weight on my chest making it impossible for me to breathe.
“I didn’t mean it!” I blurted out.
For a beat, his gaze slid from the pitch-black road in front of us that was only lit with the narrow beam of the headlights, to look at me. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his face remaining impassive. “I know,” he said, taking another slight left, veering the truck off the road into a field of tall grass.
“You know?” I pinned my narrowed eyes on him, my tone incredulous as my hands clung to the door and console, bracing myself to keep from sliding from my seat. The truck bumped and shook, jarring me as much as his response.
A few seconds later it rolled to a stop. Billy threw it into park and shut it off. He rubbed at the back of his neck, his eyes still focused straight ahead. “I shouldn’t have left the way I did.”
I kept my mouth closed, fighting back the insults I wanted to sling at him.
“I know you didn’t mean to say those words. It’s not why I took off.”
“Was it because I threw up?” I shut my eyes with my question, feeling my skin heat, still embarrassed and repulsed by what I did.
Something between a chuckle and a snort erupted from beside me. I felt his hand latch onto mine, and I flicked one eye open, peeking over at him.
He shook his head no, his laughter growing. “I won’t lie and say I wasn’t a little bit grossed out, but that’s not why. Shit happens. And you had a lot to drink that night…” His words died on his lips, along with the humor.
“Billy?” I squeezed his hand, needing him to continue.
I’d spent many sleepless nights wondering what had been going through his head that morning, besides the obvious. Because despite those two embarrassing mishaps, something had happened between us that night. Something that felt like a beginning, rather than the ending it was.
“Shit,” he muttered, roughly rubbing his one free hand over his face and through his hair. “I’m afraid this is all gonna come out wrong.”
“I think that’s kind of our thing, isn’t it? Doing and saying everything wrong.”
“God, I hope not, Hannah,” he said, his eyes now focused on mine. “Because when I’m with you, nothing about that feels wrong.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, my heartrate all over the place. “Tell me why, Billy.”
He looked away again, drawing in a deep breath. “I panicked…when you said you loved me. I freaking panicked. But not for the reason you think…damn”—he muttered, rubbing at his neck some more—“I’m pretty sure I’ll be losing my man card after this.”
My lips stretched tight with a suppressed laugh as I waited for him to continue.
“I panicked because a part of me wanted you to mean it. For a split second, hearing those words from your mouth felt so fucking good. I know that sounds crazy. Even then I thought it was crazy. It was way too soon to say all that or be feeling all that. But it made me realize what I might want in the future…and then—”
“And then I puked on you.”
“Yeah.” He smirked. “Then you threw up and brought me back to the harsh reality of our situation. I needed to keep my crazy thoughts in check. You’d been drinking, and were leaving, and our time together to you was likely nothing more than a—”
I kissed him before he could finish uttering the last of that statement. I knew what he was about to say, and it was complete bullshit. More. Our night together was so much more to me.