I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear any more advice. But it was different coming from Tucker. He’d been in a similar situation with Lottie at one point in their lives.
“Don’t let your pride get in the way. If you feel for her the way I think you do, find a way to make it work and be there with her.”
He gave me a humorless smile as he slapped me on the back and walked outside with the others.
I sat on the edge of the couch, my elbows digging into my knees as I leaned forward, taking a deep breath with my face buried in my hands. I knew Tucker was right; if only I knew how to make it work.
I lifted another brisket from the pit, wrapping it in foil. We’d been up before dawn smoking the meat for Aaron and Leighton’s annual barbecue that always came the weekend after harvest ended.
I’d spent our single phone call last week pleading with Hannah to come. I knew it was a long shot. She’d already had a work trip planned to New York. She’d be exhausted by the time she got back to Seattle, and I was sure the last thing she’d want to do was jump on another flight just to come to a picnic. I was hoping a chance to see me would sweeten the deal.
Unfortunately, it was a hard no. Not even a maybe. I can’t lie and say that didn’t kill me a little more inside. All I wanted lately was to see her. The few times I thought about jumping on a plane to make a surprise trip to Seattle, she’d been busy or getting ready to leave town again. And truth be told, I couldn’t skip town until harvest ended anyway.
I was desperately trying to hang on to what little we had without knowing exactly what the hell we were doing. It’s like we were in this weird limbo: not together, but not ready to let go of each other. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t constantly worried she’d met someone else.
“Here.” Leighton passed me a fresh beer.
I took a drink of the ice-cold liquid, wiping the sweat from my forehead. Standing in the hundred-degree Texas heatwave, next to a fiery pit, could make a man feel like he was burning in hell.
“Thanks. I needed that.”
“Don’t mention it…” She sniffed at the air around me. “You gonna shower before the party starts?” she joked, waving her hand in front of her nose.
“You gonna give me a chance to?” I retorted.
She laughed. “Get outta here and get ready. I’ll take over until Aaron comes back.”
I picked her up in a big bear hug, making sure to cover her in my sticky sweat.
She squealed with a laugh, slapping at my chest. “Eww! Stop! You’re all gross!”
I planted a big wet kiss on the top of her head before placing her feet back on the ground. “Love ya, sis!” I hollered as I ran off before she figured out a way to get me back.
The party was in full swing with the band playing, the sun falling behind the horizon, and the string lights starting to glow over the picnic tables and dance floor that were set up outside of our old family barn. I spent most of the time trying to keep my mind occupied with making small chat with old friends.
The moment Lottie and Tucker’s truck rolled up the dirt road, I felt that little bit of hope creep in. And like the heartless bitch reality was, she smashed that hope when they both stepped out of the truck minus one blonde. That’s all it took for my mind to be right back on Hannah—not that it ever really wandered far from her. But tonight, the memories of her were stronger than ever.
Tonight marked one year since the first time we met, the first time I’d seen her. That night, for the first time ever, it felt like my life had truly begun. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I was already a goner with just her smile. She’d played coy, even though I knew she was anything but, having no idea this small-time country boy was a sure thing.
With his arm around Lottie, Tucker walked her over to where I stood with Leighton and Aaron.
“You two want a drink?” I offered them after shaking Tucker’s hand and giving Lottie a hug.
“Yes, please,” Lottie plucked at the collar of her shirt. “It’s hotter than Hades today.”
“You’re telling me, try being in it all day long by the smoker,” Aaron chimed in.
“Pretty sure you spent more time ‘marinating the meat’ than by the pit. I was the one tending the fire all damn day,” I quipped. “Made me wonder what meat was actually getting marinated, seeing as how I was positive it was all on the grill already.”
“Hey man, every man’s meat needs a little marinating from time to time.”
Leighton smacked his chest, her face turning beet red. Tucker and Lottie laughed as I shook my head. “Dude, that’s my little sister. Boundaries.”
Aaron just shrugged unapologetically with a chuckle, wrapping his arms around Leighton and kissing her on the neck.
“That’s my cue. Be right back with those drinks,” I told Lottie and Tucker as I walked away.
I snuck around the rear of the barn, skipping the line to the bar to grab their drinks from the extra coolers we’d stashed in the bed of my truck in case we ran out. Coming back around the corner, I ran into Lauren.
“Hey.” She smiled tentatively at me.
“Lauren.” I gave her a nod. “How are you?”
“Good. Actually, I was hoping to see you here.”
Shit. My whole body tensed. Surely, she wasn’t still holding onto any hope we’d be together. I thought I made that pretty clear earlier this summer. I straight up told her there wasn’t even a slim chance.
“Don’t worry.” A knowing smile curled up her lips. “I already know what you’re thinking. I meant as friends. I was hoping to see you here as a friend. You know, just to catch up and see how things were going. I hadn’t seen you out much, lately.”
I nodded while the two cans of beer started to sweat in my hands. “Sounds good.” I held up the drinks. “We’ll catch up later. Need to get these to Tucker and Lottie before they’re no longer cold.”
“Of course, I’ll find you later.”
I had no doubt she would. I gave her a terse smile before sidestepping around her.
She’d made good on her promise a few hours later, tapping me on the shoulder where I sat at a table with all my friends.
Glancing over my back at her, she smiled. “Take me for a spin on the dance floor?”
When I hesitated, she added, “Just as friends,” her smile huge and her eyes full of hope.
I heard Leighton annoyingly clear her throat to gain my attention. Fed up with my sister’s constant meddling in my personal life, I nodded with a smile at Lauren.
“Love to.”
I took her hand as I stood, pulling her onto the dance floor and into my arms.
Chapter 17
HANNAH
Checking my makeup in the visor mirror one more time, I blew out a breath. My stomach was already doing flips like a trapeze artist with the thought of seeing Billy for the first time in months. I’d wanted to surprise him by showing up at Leighton and Aaron’s picnic where we first met one year ago.
It’d been hard to keep it a secret, especially when he’d begged me for an hour last week to come, and I had to tell him no. I didn’t want him to think there was any chance of me making it. I hadn’t told anyone I was coming, afraid somehow it would get back to him, given the way people in Billingsley couldn’t keep their mouths closed.