He takes my hand as we walk to the front door, but he pauses before we go inside. Sure he’s going to tell me he changed his mind, that he’d rather go home and do anything else than sit around being bored with me, I yank my hand from his, closing off my heart before the hurt has a chance to hit.
“I like that most houses here have porches,” he says quietly. Thrown from him saying the last thing I expected, I open my mouth, gaping for a second before gaining back the ability to say coherent words. “The historic ones at least.”
I blink, brought back to earth when mosquitos swarm around my face. “The porches helped keep the houses cool,” I ramble. “That way they could open the windows for the fresh air without the sunlight coming right in.”
“Makes sense.”
“The back porch is better. It’s screened in, which obviously wasn’t original to the house. But it keeps the bugs away and you can hear the river better in the back of the house. Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I go out there, lay in the hammock, and just stare into the woods and wish…and wish…”
“You could vanish—in one sense or another—and just simply exist amongst the trees.”
My heart is in my throat. I swallow hard, pushing it down. “Yes.”
“It would feel free.” A chill comes over me. Chase steps in and wraps me in his arms. More bugs buzz around, and Chase waves them away. He slips his hands down my back, stopping on my ass, giving my cheeks a squeeze as he pushes me into him. His mouth goes to my neck. My eyes flutter shut and a soft moan leaves my lips. He brings my dress up, and the rough skin on the palm of his hand rubs over my exposed backside. He pushes his hand down, slipping between my legs. A jolt goes through me from his electric touch.
And then I think of Jake.
“Chase,” I murmur, moving away.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“God, no.” I turn my head, needing to look away. “It’s just…I think we should wait. I’m, uh, not sure if I’m ready.”
“Okay. I respect your morals.”
“It’s not about morals. I haven’t been with anyone since Jake died. I want to make sure I’m ready, for your sake.”
“My sake?” he asks as if someone doing something for his sake is completely foreign. I don’t know how to say it without sounding stupid. I’m already getting more and more uncomfortable as each second ticks by. I don’t to be hit with guilt while he’s inside me. I want to enjoy sex with Chase—fully enjoy it. And I want him to enjoy it too.
Sensing my discomfort, he moves my hair out of my face and kisses me. “Let’s go inside. The mosquitos are eating me alive and I had to put Unbroken down after a cliffhanger ending of a chapter.”
My heart swells in my chest, and I smile at Chase. “It’s good, isn’t it?”
“Very.”
We go inside, grab blankets, pillows, and the book, then go onto the back porch and into the hammock. Chase puts his arms around me, and I rest my head against his chest, listening to his heart beating.
“I’m sorry if this isn’t how you thought your night would go.”
“Don’t be sorry. I rarely have expectations for anything, either. I didn’t think ahead on tonight. As long as I’m with you, I’m happy.”
“So Rob told me something interesting,” Lisa comments as soon as she sees me.
“Marley set off the alarm last night?” I suggest, peering over the top of my sunglasses.
“Hah. Hilarious.” She takes off her shoes and sits on the edge of the pool to stick her feet in. I came over to my parents’ to take care of Marley after Chase left, and decided to stay and lounge around on a giant inflatable pink flamingo floaty. “But yeah, he did mention that. You know what I’m talking about and oh my fucking God why didn’t you call me and tell me you slept with Chase.”
“Because I didn’t sleep with him.”
Lisa narrows her eyes, holding her hand to her forehead to shield the sun. “You can’t get out of this one, Si. Rob saw you guys together last night at three am.”
“Chase was with me,” I start and stick my arm in the water, paddling over to Lisa. “He stayed the night with me. But we didn’t have sex.”
“Oh my God. Do not fucking tell me you friend-zoned him.”
“I didn’t. I slow-zoned him a bit though.”
“What do you mean?”
I get closer to the edge of the pool and Lisa catches the neck of the flamingo with her foot, pulling me over.
“Honestly, I’m afraid I’m going to think about Jake when I’m with Chase. And I don’t want that. And then I feel guilty for feeling that way.”
“Oh.” Lisa’s face softens. “That makes sense. How did Chase handle the news that he wasn’t getting past first base?”
“He was fine with it. And we did get past first.”
“You minx,” she teases.
“I’m very attracted to him. Stopping was hard for me too.”
“Not as hard as it was for him, right?”
“It was hard. And big. Like an anaconda in his pants,” I say as seriously as I can.
Lisa snorts a laugh. “Charm that snake, Si. Charm it real good.”
Now I’m laughing. “We are going out to dinner tonight. Kind of. At four. Maybe that’s a late lunch?”
“Why the weird time?”
“He’s working at The Mill House tonight.”
“Oh, that stinks.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “But I did tell him to come over after work if he doesn’t get out too late.”
Lisa wiggles her eyebrows. “His trouser-snake is going to be hungry. Feed it so it doesn’t bite.”
“Maybe I want it to bite.” I smile and lay back on the floaty. Then my phone rings and I shoot up.
“Expecting a call from Chase?” Lisa teases and grabs my phone that’s resting on a folded towel behind her. “It’s not. It’s your sister. Want me to decline the call?”
I make a face but shake my head. “No. I’ll answer. She’ll just keep calling until I do.”
I hop out of the pool, dry off my hands, and grab the phone.
“Hey, Sierra,” Sam says before I even say hi. “Are you busy?”
“Not really. Why?”
“Lily is having a difficult time with Sundance. He doesn’t want to go over the jumps. Her show is in a few days and she’s freaking out.”
“Really? She is?” My eight-year-old niece is rather laid back for having two type-A parents.
“Okay. I am. The damn horse keeps stopping as soon as he gets to the jump. She already fell off once.”
“Is she okay?”
“Yeah, it was as easy as a fall can be. Can you come help us? You’re better with horses than I am.”
Sam never admits anyone is better at her than anything. I put my phone on speaker and nudge Lisa.
“I didn’t hear you. Can you repeat that?”
“Can you come help us? You’re better at this than I am.”
“You need my help because I’m better?”
“Yes, Sierra. We all know you’re better with horses than me. Now will you please come help us?”