“You two have been friends for a long time then, right?”
“Feels like a lifetime,” Jax jokes.
I nervously pull on my cat necklace, mind whirling. When Chase said he never stayed anywhere long, I assumed he left everything and everyone behind. We get to the surgical floor and the nerves come back tenfold.
I can’t lose Chase. I wouldn’t survive it. Sitting in the cold, hospital waiting room, thinking about Chase on the operating table, makes my stomach churn. I close my eyes and get hit with another vision. I’m standing in a graveyard, watching a coffin get lowered into the ground. My heart is inside that coffin, but no one believes me. The dirt falls, burying me deep underground.
I’ve been through it before.
“Hey,” Jax whispers, putting his hand on mine. “It’ll be okay.”
I open my eyes and realize I’m close to hyperventilating. I blink back tears and nod. Jax pats my hand and leans back in his chair. I wrap my arms around myself and stare up at the TV in the corner of the room.
What feels like hours later, a nurse calls my name. I scramble up and over to her. She gives me a quick rundown—surgery went fine, but the infection was worse than they thought, which was why Chase was so out of it before we came here. He is being moved to the ICU to be treated for sepsis after this. She takes me back to see him, and tears fill my eyes the moment I see him lying in the recovery bed, hooked up to IVs and machines.
His eyes are closed, and he looks peaceful. The nurse warns me he might wake up totally confused and even combative, saying that’s pretty normal.
“Chase,” I whisper, putting my hand on his, careful to avoid the IV line. I gently stroke his skin, pressing myself close to the bed to stay out of the nurses’ way as they check the monitors.
Chase’s eyes flutter open and he starts to sit up. “Sierra,” he mumbles.
“I’m here. Right here. Don’t sit up, Chase. You just had surgery.”
His head falls back onto the pillow and a few seconds go by before he opens his eyes again. “Why did I have surgery?”
“Your appendix burst. You’re pretty sick, babe. You need to rest.” I blink tears back. “But you’re gonna be okay.”
“Right,” he agrees and twists his hand around, interlacing our fingers. “Sierra?”
I lean in, straining to hear what he has to say. “Yes?”
“I think I love you.”
I don’t try to stop the tears that fall this time. “I think I love you, too.”
The last time I was in the Intensive Care Unit, Jake died. Slight jitters take over when I step through the doors. Everything is the same. The lighting. The smell. Even the nurses.
Jake was at the room at the end of the unit, farthest away from the nurses. It didn’t matter by that time. The curtains were drawn around the glass walls. They gave us privacy because that’s all we had left.
Chase is in the second room, right across from the nurses’ station. The curtains and pulled back, and a nurse is in there now, adjusting tubes and checking on him. He’s awake and looks bored. It’s easy to convince myself that he’s fine and out of the woods. But having an infection turn septic is serious. Very serious.
Chase looks up, smiling when he sees me. I stay to the side, waiting for the nurse to finish, then go in and hug Chase.
“I guess you were right,” he says, running his hand through my hair. “I did need to go to the doctor.”
“Yeah, no shit,” I say back and we laugh. Chase winces slightly. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine. Give me a day or two.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I think you’ll still be here in a day or two.”
“We’ll see.”
“You have a drain in the wound.”
“It’s turning you on, isn’t it?” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Hey baby, want to see my wound drain?”
I laugh and run my fingers through his hair. “Do you know Josh’s number?” I ask Chase.
“It’s in my phone. You can get it,” he replies, then tenses.
“Your phone is at home.”
“Good.” Chase relaxes, eyes fluttering closed. “Why do you need his number?” he asks a moment later.
“To let him know what’s going on.”
“No, he just left the hospital with the boys, remember? I don’t want to make him worry.”
“That’s really sweet of you, but he needs to know you won’t be at work.”
“Fuck. Right. I should call him.”
“I’ll handle it,” I say and continue running my fingers through his hair. Chase closes his eyes again, and within minutes, he’s asleep again. I tuck the blanket around him and slip out, filling Jax in on how Chase is doing, and then going into the hospital lobby to make a few phone calls. I get ahold of my mother first and am surprised by her concern. I have to stop her from getting in the car and coming here right away. Instead, I send her on a mission to get Josh’s cellphone number, and texts it to me in a matter of minutes.
“Hello?” Josh answers, and I’m so glad he does. I never answer unknown numbers.
“Hey, Josh, it’s Sierra.”
“Hey. What’s going on?”
“I’m at Mercy with Chase. He just has his appendix taken out.”
“Shit. Is he okay?”
“He will be. His appendix ruptured and turned septic. He’s in the ICU right now.”
“I’m on my way.”
“No,” I say quickly. “He doesn’t want you to come. He didn’t even want me to call you and make you worry or take time away from the twins. But I knew you needed to know.”
“Right. Are you staying there with him? You sure he’s okay? People die from sepsis.”
“I’m not leaving, and the nurse seemed confident he’s going to recover.” I sit on the bench right outside the entrance doors. Night has fallen, and the city is far from asleep. “He was really out of it when I got to his house this evening, and his fever was high. The ER doctor told me we got here just in time.” Tears fill my eyes and I don’t know why I’m telling this all to Josh. “It was scary.”
“I’m glad he has you. He’s lucky, you know.”
“Yeah,” I say and sniffle. “I think I am too.”
A baby cries in the background. “Call me if anything changes?”
“I will. Bye, Josh.”
The crying gets louder, drowning out whatever Josh said. I hang up and call Mrs. Williams, and then call my mom back to make sure she’ll feed the cats. Back inside, I tell Jax to go back home, and he takes a taxi so I have my car. Chase is still sleeping, so I sit in a chair next to his bed, resting my head against the wall. Before I know it, I’m asleep too.
Chapter 24
Chase
There must be some unwritten rule stating that hospitals have to be cold and uncomfortable. I wake up freezing and I’m the one covered up with a blanket. Sierra is curled up in a chair, goose bumps broken out on her arms. Her head is resting on her shoulder as she sleeps.
Carefully, I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I’m hooked up to so many damn lines it takes a minute just to stand without pulling something lose. I take the blanket and a few steps to Sierra when someone knocks on the door.