The words are insulting because she’s everything to me, and the stupid label implies a lesser bond. According to the hospital, anyway.
“Lisa is going to come up here,” Sierra tells me and sets her phone on the bedside table. “I think she feels bad for being a dick yesterday. Two days ago? What day is it? I don’t even know.”
“Lay down next to me,” I tell her. “You need to sleep.”
“You need to more and I know you’re not comfortable with me in bed next to you.”
I smile and shake my head. “You’re impossible, Sierra Belmont.”
Chapter 25
Sierra
“Ms. Belmont?”
A hand lands on my shoulder and my name is repeated. I slowly sit up, back aching. I fell asleep sitting in the chair next to the Chase, bent forward with my head and arms resting on the edge of the bed.
After breakfast, Chase got sick from one of his meds. Throwing up caused him pain, so he was given more medicine to combat the nausea along with the pain. He’s been passed out for the last few hours.
“Yeah?” I ask, rubbing my eyes. Dried mascara crumbles off my lashes. A shower sounds nice right now.
“There’s someone in the waiting room for you,” the nurse tells me. My eyes slowly start to focus and I get a flash of the nurse’s face. She was the same nurse who put her arm around my shoulder and consoled me after Jake’s heart stopped beating. I wonder if she remembers me. It was almost two years ago, and I’m sure she sees a lot of people and a lot of tragedy.
“Thanks,” I say and stand. My legs are cramping and my right foot is asleep. I shake feeling back into it and limp my way out to the waiting room. My mom and Lisa are standing there, and Mom throws her arms around me right away.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she says, voice heavy with emotion. “Are you all right?”
“I’m tired, but I’m fine. Chase is going to be okay.”
She gives me one more squeeze. “I packed your bag. If you need anything else, let me know.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Do you want coffee or anything to eat? I tried calling before we got here but your phone must be dead.”
“It is, and coffee would be great. The coffee here isn’t that good.”
“There’s a Starbucks around the corner. I can get you something. Do you still like their caramel frappuccinos?”
“I do.”
“I’ll go get it. It shouldn’t take me long.” Mom blinks away her tears and pulls me in for one more hug. “Love you, baby,” she whispers and goes, leaving me alone with Lisa.
“How are you holding up?” she asks.
“Okay. I think. Chase was awake this morning and acting normal. It’s easy to think he’ll be better soon, then I remember they wouldn’t have put him in the ICU if it weren’t serious. He had a bad reaction to his medication this morning, which was scary. He’s sleeping now.”
Lisa grinds her jaw and looks at the floor. “I’m so sorry, Sierra. I mean, I still feel like you should be careful, but for right now, I’m sorry. I made Chase out to be the bad guy and didn’t think anything like this would happen to him. I know he needs you, and you need him. I won’t press the issue anymore.”
“Thanks, Lisa.” I pull my arms in around myself. “I’m glad you came.”
“I would have come with you last night too,” she tells me. “If you called.”
“I know.”
Lisa shuffles her feet and takes a Harry Potter backpack off her shoulder. “Your mom was pretty much horrified to see this was your luggage.”
I take the bag and chuckle. “She’d be even more horrified to see my real suitcase.”
“It’s the Star Wars one, right?”
“Yeah. It’s in the creepy basement.”
“Right. I didn’t think about that. Though I suppose you don’t need a full suitcase now.”
“Yeah.” I unzip the bag and pull out my phone charger. “I’m gonna go charge my phone and let the nurse know I’ll be out here. Just in case.” Twisting the charger around in my hands, I go back into the ICU. Chase is still sleeping under the watchful eye of the nurses. I plug in my phone, let his nurse know I’m going to be right outside, and go back into the waiting room.
“Are you mad at me?” Lisa asks timidly.
“I’m too exhausted to be mad,” I tell her and sit down next to her. “I don’t want to fight.”
“I don’t either. And remember when we were eight and promised we’d never fight over a boy? I guess this is a little different, but it’s still a boy causing us to not get along.” She loops her arm through mine. “So Chase is doing okay?”
“Yeah. The doctor said if he got here any later it would have been a different story.” Tears fill my eyes and all the emotion that’s been stirring inside of me bubbles up. Lisa wraps her arms around me. “It’s like I’m cursed,” I say through my tears. “People I love get hurt. They end up here.”
“Shhh,” she soothes. “You are not cursed. You are not causing this. Chase is going to be okay. If anything about his track record is true, it’s that he’s resilient. Nothing seems to stop the guy,” she tries to joke.
“It keeps playing out in my mind,” I confess. “I’ve been through it once. I know how it is and I can’t keep it away.”
“Keep what away?”
“Seeing Chase die. Remembering how it feels to watch the casket get lowered into the ground. Waking up alone and feeling like all the happiness inside of me turned to ash. I don’t think I can survive it again. I don’t want to survive it again.”
The depth of my words hits Lisa and a tear rolls down her face. “Don’t ever say that, Si. You can survive anything and I won’t let you not get through it.” She takes my hands. “And Chase is going to be okay. He’s a fighter, and he’s got you to fight for.”
“I hope it’s enough.”
“Are you kidding me? It’s more than enough. You are enough.” She lets go of my hands and brushes away her tears. “You said you love him.”
“I do.” I grab a tissue from the box on the side table and mop up my eyes. “And yes, before you ask, he told me he loves me too.”
“I can’t deny that it’s obvious he cares a lot about you. Maybe he has redeemed himself from his past. The first time you guys ever met, he saved you from that drunk. And the next time, you were the drunk you needed saving from. I’m going to try to be more like you and let his actions speak for themselves.”
“You’re totally judging him on his past.”
“Oh, completely,” she says and we both laugh. “But I’m going to try. For you.”
“Thanks, Lisa.”
With a smile, she nods. “He’s going to be okay.”
I nod and wipe my eyes again, and then lean back in the chair.
“Do either of you need anything? We packed what I would bring for myself. Except for the sex toys.”
I smile and unzip the bag, pulling out face wash and a change of clothes. I go down the hall to change, and Mom is in the waiting room with coffee in hand when I get back. She and Lisa stay a while to keep me company for a while, then offer to get pick up lunch for me while I sit in the room with Chase.