They vacate my office, disappointment written all over their features, and that’s when I realize, I’m pretty sure they were ready to pick the Domicos. Had I not come clean, we’d be popping champagne and celebrating.
It wouldn’t have felt right though, especially with the way things ended with Jason.
God, I miss him so much it hurts.
When they’re out of earshot, my dad turns on me, anger etched in his eyes. “What the hell was that, Dorothy?”
And here’s the moment I’ve been dreading the most about today. “It was the truth. They deserved it.”
“They deserved it from the very beginning.” He drags his hand over his face. “You just cost us millions over that deal.”
“I know, Dad—”
“No, I don’t think you do. You not only cost us money, but you cost us our reputation.” He tosses his hand in the air. “What the hell am I supposed to do with this now?”
“Nothing,” I say, as an acute sense of loss builds inside me.
In my dream of dreams, I pictured everything going right, that the Carltons would congratulate me on being truthful, and my dad would think it was a risk but proud of me for not hiding behind deception.
That was the dream. Somewhat misguided.
Reality? This is the end of everything I’ve built over the last few years, everything I thought I wanted and worked for since college. I wasn’t sure if I was going to do this or not, but I feel as though I don’t have a choice. I pick up a letter off my desk and hand it to him. “Here’s my resignation. Please consider this my two weeks’ notice or until you can find a replacement.”
“Dorothy . . .” my dad says, resigned. He can barely look at me.
“Don’t, Dad. I know this is necessary, and I’m saving you the trouble of having to do it yourself. I’d hoped the Carltons would have appreciated my sincerity—my choice to come clean—and maybe still go with us, but I knew that was a long shot. I screwed this up big time, even with your warning. If this were anyone else, you’d have fired them on the spot. I should have listened to you, I never should have dragged Jason into this mess and because of my immature decisions, I hurt the company. This needs to be done.”
“But this is my legacy. I’ve built this business from the ground up; it was supposed to be passed on to you,” he says, looking weak and disheartened.
I hate this. That I’ve done this to him.
“I know, but I’ll be honest, Dad. This job, even though it’s fun working for you, it’s been stressful, and I’ve made choices I’ll always regret. It’s turned me into a person I’m not exactly proud of, and it’s made me jaded and closed off, a trait that didn’t emerge until I sat at this desk. I admire everything you’ve built and done for our family—for me. And I’m heartbroken over how I’ve treated that gift and the responsibilities you entrusted to me. I can see I’ve lost sight of who I am. What I should be doing.”
“Is this about Nick?” he asks, walking toward me and taking my hand in his.
I shake my head, but maybe some of it is. “It stems from Nick, from the distrust his betrayal created. I worked extra hard after he hurt me to prove I’m more than the family name, that I’m my own entity. I can see I did anything to make myself feel empowered. To feel powerful.” I shake my head. “The drive blinded me, made my actions unacceptable, and I ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to me . . . Jason.”
“Sweetie,” he says softly, pulling me into a hug. “You need that kind of drive for this business.”
“It’s not the person I am. I thought it was, but it’s not.”
He kisses the top of my head and says, “You were always more of your mother’s daughter with the soft soul and kind heart. It’s why you donate so generously. That’s who you are. That’s the woman I’m incredibly proud of.”
I try to digest his words, but they don’t feel right at this moment. They don’t quite fit with how I feel about myself.
Sighing, my dad asks, “So if you’re not working for me, what are you going to do?”
“I have some ideas. Some ideas that will help me feel more fulfilled. At least I hope.”
He exhales, pulling on his tie before he lowers his head in defeat. “Shit, Dorothy.”
“I know.” Tears well up in my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Dad. So, so sorry.”
“Oh, sweetie.” He squeezes me tighter, and that’s when I break down against his pristine Tom Ford suit. “Shh,” he says, rubbing the back of my head. But it’s impossible for me to stop crying now the waterworks have taken over. I clutch his suit jacket and sob. “Sweetie, all these tears, there not just for the job . . .”
I shake my head. “No.”
“It’s about the boy.”
I nod.
“What happened?”
“He . . . he . . .” I catch my breath. “He saw your email. He was so upset, so heartbroken. He broke things off with me and left. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so devastated than I did in that moment.” I don’t think I’ve ever caused anyone so much pain before or felt so . . . ashamed.
“I don’t know, right now you’re giving him a run for his money.”
I pull away and wipe away my tears. “I love him, Dad, and before I could even say it, I lost him.”
“Who’s to say you still can’t say it?”
“He’ll push me away.” I shake my head.
“You never know until you try, sweetie, and now that you’ve resigned, looks like you have some time on your hands. Make it up to him.”
“I don’t know how,” I say, feeling vulnerable and exposed, but I guess that’s what being in love is all about, shedding a layer of skin so the other person can see your true self, your soul. “What if he turns me away?”
“Then at least you’ll know you gave it your all, like everything else in your life.”
I’m going to puke.
Yup, right here, in the hallway, puke is happening.
It took me a few days to gain the nerve, but once I grabbed enough courage, I didn’t let myself turn back.
A VP from the California office has been wanting to move to Chicago within the company, but there haven’t been any positions open. Now I’m leaving, the transition is seamless and the guy, Kent, is unsurprisingly an intelligent and a trusted employee. I feel comfortable with him taking over and my dad feels safe with his company.
He flew out immediately, and I’ve been helping him with the transition.
We gave Jessica a raise, because of everything that’s gone on, and she’ll take on some new responsibilities. She was teary when I told her I was resigning, and we both got emotional after that. I’ll miss her, as she’s a very competent assistant. I know this is for the best though.
Even what I’m about to do.
I raise my hand to the door I’ve grown quite familiar with and before I can chicken out, I give it a few knocks.
This is going to be simple. I’m going to lay it on the line for him and what he does with the information is up to him.
I hear him approach and hold my breath as he opens the door. Wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants and a shocked face, he grips the side of the door and asks, “What the hell are you doing here?”