Fuck me, but that hurt. “How . . .” I had to swallow past the sandpaper grit suddenly filling my throat. “How is she?”
She gave it to me honestly, no matter how hard the truth was. “Not good,” she snapped. “She’s shattered. Truth is, I’ve never seen her like this. She’s been hurt in the past when relationships went bad, but this time is different. She’s not just hurt. You managed to devastate her. So congratulations, I guess,” she spat hatefully.
That aching hole in my chest felt like it was getting wider and wider by the second. “I never meant to hurt her, Tali. I swear. I just . . . I can’t.”
At the way she looked at me just then, I felt an intense wave of pity drifting off of her and slamming into me. “I can’t imagine what you went through, losing your wife like that,” she said quietly. “I’m so sorry, Pierce. But what you don’t get is that you’re one of the lucky few. There aren’t many people that get a second chance at that kind of love again. You have that right now, but you’re wasting it. Marin can’t replace your wife, no one can, and she wouldn’t ever try. But she can make you happy. That’s all she wants.”
I struggled to pull in a breath, my chest tightening to the point it didn’t feel like there was any room for my lungs as she continued laying it out for me.
“I’ve never seen her like this because she’s never loved anyone the way she loves you. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Her capacity to love, to shine that light that’s all her own down on the people she cares about . . . it’s an extraordinary thing to witness, and even more so for those of us lucky enough to experience it firsthand. There will come a day when a man enters her life who gets all of that from her and so much more. Whether or not that man is you is your choice, Pierce. And I really hope you don’t miss your shot at a second chance at that kind of happiness.” She shook her head in disappointment. “It would be such a shame.”
With that parting shot, she skirted past me and through the conference room door, leaving me reeling.
29
Marin
The past two weeks had been a test of my strength and sanity, to be sure, but I was determined to persevere.
After the come-to-Jesus with my girls, I’d gone about my days the same as I had before Pierce had gone and made me fall in love with him. I woke up, I attended rehearsals, I spent time with Ms. Weatherby and my family, hell, I even managed to feel genuine happiness when Tali informed me that she’d finally decided to give Nick a chance. They were taking things slowly for now and seeing a marriage counselor to help them talk through their issues. My heart might have been broken, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t feel happy for my sister.
I picked Eli up from school and soaked up every ounce of light he had during our hours together. Now that Pierce’s trial was over, there were no more late nights, so as soon as I heard his car pull into the driveway, I’d have my purse in hand, and the moment he came through the door, I got the hell out of there without saying a word to him.
I performed at the club, faking a bright, cheery persona in front of the girls so they wouldn’t worry even more than they already were. Now that I knew just how much I’d been giving away, I’d worked tirelessly to build a mask that I could wear in public, and I made damn sure that thing didn’t budge.
I had a foolproof plan. If someone did happen to catch a glimpse behind the mask, I’d just avoid their questions all together. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t foolproof, but it was what it was. If I could just keep pretending like my heart hadn’t been ripped to shreds, then maybe I’d actually start believing it.
“Mar-Mar?” Eli called my name, pulling me from the melancholy that had been following me around like a black cloud for the past two weeks.
After I picked him up from school, I’d decided ice cream and the park were in order before I took him home. The vanilla cone I’d ordered had begun to drip down my hand, so I tossed it in the trashcan as we passed it during our loop of the park. After my muffin and wine binge, I hadn’t had much of an appetite lately, and I was starting to worry that I’d done some serious damage to my stomach with that cheap, acidic alcohol.
I looked down at the little boy beside me, feeling my chest swell with love. He held my hand in his free one as he licked at his chocolate cone, getting more ice cream on his face than in his mouth.
“Yeah, kid?”
“I think my daddy’s sad.”
Oh God. My heart would not beat out of my chest. I wouldn’t allow it.
“What makes you say that, sweetheart?”
He stared down the path, a little boy deep in thought. “He doesn’t smile like he used to,” he stated, proving once again that kids were so much more perceptive than adults gave them credit for. “And he doesn’t joke around as much. He tries to pretend with me, but even his smiles seem sad.”
How the hell was I supposed to navigate this situation? I didn’t know what to say. “You know what, kiddo? Your dad is tough. If he’s sad right now, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that it won’t last. He just needs to work through it, then he’ll be back to normal.”
He looked up at me with those eyes that were so much like his father’s it wasn’t even funny. Just seeing them sent a pang through my chest. Every. Single. Time. “You really think so?”
“Absolutely,” I assured him. “On top of having the coolest dad, you also have the strongest one. So you don’t need to worry, okay? He’ll be just fine.”
God I hoped like hell I hadn’t just lied to my sweet Eli.
I distracted him from his worry by racing him over to the swings and making a bet with him on who could swing higher. We killed the rest of the afternoon at the park. My hope was to get Eli back after Pierce was already home so I could just drop him off and be on my way.
I’d just finished buckling him into his booster seat when I noticed her. Suzette Walton, Pierce and Frank’s mother, was coming out of one of the shops across the square. She’d seen me before I saw her, and her eyes spit venom as she looked from me to Eli in the backseat of my car.
I raised my hand in a small wave and attempted a smile, but was frozen in place by the look of pure hatred on her face. Before I could move, she whipped around and stomped down the sidewalk toward her car, and I knew with absolute certainty that the shit was about to hit the fan.
I would have raced back to Pierce’s house, blowing the speed limit out of the water, had I not had to be mindful of Eli’s safety. His car was the only one in the driveway when I pulled up, but I had a gut feeling it was only a matter of time before Hurricane Suzette came rolling in.
Eli beat me into the house, running straight to his father who was standing at the kitchen island with a glass of what I assumed was scotch sitting on the marble countertop in front of him.
He looked completely wrecked. His hair was in disarray like he’d been running his fingers through it all day long. He was still in his suit, but at some point, he’d ditched the tie and jacket. His sleeves were rolled up, and the shirt looked more wrinkled than he usually allowed them to get. Those circles were still beneath his eyes, and they’d been getting darker and darker with each passing day.