When dinner came to its inevitable end, I swept Niko from his chair by his armpits and disappeared into the maze of hallways. He spoke at length about Roman, Danika and Evva during his bedtime routine; I could barely get a word in.
As we settled beneath the covers, he asked, “Can we stay?”
The question turned me to stone.
“Mama?” he prompted.
“You don’t want to go home?”
Nikolai yawned. “No, no. Stay–” Another yawn “stay here…”
“Our home is waiting for us, baby,” I whispered. “We can’t stay here.”
“Yes.” There was a flash of toddler refusal on his face as he replied. “Yes, Mama.”
I stroked his blond hair, the color proof of the Tarkhanov blood running through his veins. Proof of the kingdom he was set to inherit. “Go to sleep, my wild boy.”
Nikolai wanted to argue more but he fell asleep quickly. His little snores soon filled the room, the sound pairing with the soft murmur of voices downstairs and creaking of the house as it settled down into sleep.
My mind refused to settle, twisting with so many thoughts and words and fears that I felt a scream begin to form deep in my throat. Konstantin’s voice filled my head on repeat.
Nikolai is a Tarkhanov. He is my heir.
The rest of his life will be here. With his family, with his father.
A possessiveness that I didn’t even understand swept over me at the thought of sharing Nikolai. He was my son, my baby. I had birthed, fed and bathed him without help from anyone. Who was Konstantin to demand I hand him over on a silver platter?
The sane part of me knew that wasn’t what Konstantin had meant. But how did I know the meaning behind Konstantin’s words? I hardly knew the man anymore. From two people who had known the darkest parts of each other’s souls, we were now strangers.
Hours later, I heard footsteps, followed by the sound of a door closing. I could picture Konstantin with such precision and accuracy in my mind’s eye that it was almost like I was watching him. I could see him stripping off his blazer, the cords of muscles as he unbuttoned his shirt and the sound of his belt buckle–
Nikolai sneezed.
The sound made me flinch. I stroked my son’s hair and settled him back into his dreams. It was for the best my son had interrupted my thoughts. They had been heading down an addictive and dangerous path.
Yearning.
The eight-letter word circled around my mind and embedded itself into my temporal lobe.
I tried to ignore it, but I still felt around in the dark for a pen. I didn’t feel relief until the word was inked on my skin.
I had almost drifted into sleep when Konstantin’s voice sounded from beyond the walls, rumbling through the plaster. “If she has contacts on the inside, I want to fucking know who they are!”
My eyes snapped open. Beside me, Nikolai stirred.
If Konstantin woke up my son…
I slipped out of bed, slid on a sweater and left the room. His shouting was coming from the study.
I didn't knock, didn't announce myself. Instead, I whipped open the door and hissed, "You're going to wake up the baby!"
Konstantin was standing in the middle of room, a towering figure of agitation in the small space. Rage seemed to cling to every inch of him, including his dark eyes that snapped to me as I entered. I didn't lighten his mood.
"You're going to wake Nikolai!" I repeated.
He drew the phone down and said in a cold formal tone, "My apologies."
We stared at each other across the space, alone and hidden by night. No one would walk in, no one would interrupt us. If I wanted to go head-to-head with Konstantin, here was my chance. The battlefield lay before me...should I pick up a weapon?
Konstantin struck first. "I’m not used to having a child so close.” His tone implied that was a direct consequence of my actions. “I forget myself.”
“You know now.” My voice held the same amount of acid as his own; I just wasn’t as good as hiding it beneath feigned manners.
“Is that all?”
Irritation rose sharply within me.
It was funny. When Thaddeo had dismissed me and left me to my own devices, I had been relieved. I had happily seen myself out and never been filled with rage. After all, there had been a myriad of other things I would rather do than tend to my husband.
But when Konstantin tried to dismiss me?
My reaction wasn’t nearly as palatable.
I pointed to his phone. “Are you going to keep yelling? The walls are thin.”
“I’m aware.” His lips briefly curled back. “I’m dealing with much more than your displeasure right now, Elena.”
“I’ll be more than displeased if you wake up Nikolai.”
Konstantin’s grip on his phone tightened but he made an admirable effort trying to sound controlled. I felt like a kid with a stick…and Konstantin was the hibernating bear.
“You have made your point, Elena, in your usual demanding way."
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Why are you yelling anyway?"
Something gleamed in his eyes, like he knew I wouldn't be able to control my curiosity. He lifted up his phone, the prop to his story. "One of my labs was attacked and millions of dollars of equipment was destroyed."
My stomach dropped.
"Was it her?"
I didn't need to specific whom I meant. There was only one her these days.
"We think so." Konstantin's eyes roamed over me, seeing things I wanted desperately to hide. "The merchandise was untouched but two FBI agents were lurking outside."
"Did they see you?" The question tore from me before I could stop it.
"We had a little chat but there's no need to worry, Elena." He seemed so smug, so amused, that I had shown my horror at him being caught. "We came to a mutual understanding that benefitted both parties."
"I'm sure."
A tornado of thoughts had begun to stir in my mind. Had it been Titus or was another mafia family trying to undermine Konstantin? Was he safe? Who told the FBI agents where the lab was and when Konstantin would be there? Was he safe?
"Worried, Elena?" he crooned, moving closer towards me. "I didn't think you would care."
I care more than you'll ever know, I wanted to snap. "I'm worried about what this means for my son and I. You didn't even cross my mind."
The lie was so obvious it could've been another piece of furniture.
Konstantin stopped not a yard from me, hands sliding back into his pockets. He forgot all about his phone call as he eyes ran over from top to bottom, his gaze so intense it felt like his hands were dragging up and down my skin.
"Don't worry about Nikolai's safety, Elena. No harm will ever befall him, and anyone who wishes him harm, will have to go through me first."
Such pretty devoted words but his tone promised bloodshed.
I wanted to retort, to snipe back, but words seemed to fail me. Konstantin's words burrowed their way into my heart.
"I will keep Nikolai safe," I said, voice softer than it had been.
Konstantin nodded. "I know you will. But I'll keep you both safe."
I'll keep you both safe.
I could feel myself being drawn back in, feel that same allure I had felt nearly three years ago. Konstantin and I were entwined with each other, so tangled it was impossible to know where I started and where he ended. Resisting him was like trying to untie the knots of us...futile.